I found out I went on a date with a criminal , Why is it so hard to find a decent man nowadays?

Question

So months ago i meet a guy from an app.
We talked for a while and realised we both want serious relationship.

then we decided to meet in person.
first date was in a restaurant. He said he s lawyer and company owner and also a writer which is impressive. but sths is off. (He had weird facial expressions and a bit mean tbh, he bragged a lots and told he been dating actress. ) i dont doubt his background because i googled him and he s just like the pic. But i sensed a bit of manipulation and would brag then force like a pattern.

After dinner, we went to a walk and he told me everything about himself, his background and stuff i guess to gain my trust.
then he suddenly hold my hand, and act like we were seeing each other. I told him i dont hold hand on first date.
he was annoyed and then said things weird. Like he never chase girls.

then we had two dates after it. Things gotten worse. He would say things like. He wants the girl to contribute equal amounts of things to a relationship , his dad met gold digger and he never want things similar happen to him , if the girl want the guy to pay everything that s an hooker act… blah blah blah
he would constantly try holding my hand with different excuses. (I was still considering and i dont think it s good to date a person that soon )

On the third date , He forced me to swallow the shrimp he had a bite on. Multiple times and made excuses to hold my hand.

Finally I decided not meeting him again so i blocked him.
Recently , i saw him on the news that he raped two 12years old girls and took video of them.
i freaked out and my both hands freezed…

i thought he was just traumatised by family and had trust issues… it was close and scary..

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

You shouldn’t of continued seeing him , the second you felt warning signs you should trust your gut instincts, and take a step back , the second I sense some red flags with a girl , I back off of her whether I am right or wrong , and question her about it over the phone before I even consider seeing her again. I I would ask her questions that surround what I sensed from her , if she gives me lame excuses? I don’t fall for it and tell her the truth that I no longer want to see her. If she gives me valid reasons , I will probably give her another chance. I know it’s easier said than done , because we can’t read each others minds , it’s just better to be safe than sorry.. My thing is when you date someone the connection and chemistry should pretty much already be there between you both , if you have constant question marks about someone? , that’s pretty much your answer to no longer see them. Constant question marks is not a good thing whatsoever

Ευδεμονια · Accepted Answer

I think honestly the world has a lot by people who try every kind of manipulation in order to gain trust and have the possibility to touch a girl. Let’s say desperation or extreme lust can bring men to that kind of behaviour with weaker others… and weaker others can be: women, underlings, children, elders…

This one was really an extreme one, since he ended up that way, glad you haven’t gotten forward with dates with him, since it could have been dangerous.
You should be careful about people you find online or get to date, maybe it’s better to find someone more… near? Maybe with a common acquaintance.

Let’s say I’m sure there is also a good number of decent and loving people who wouldn’t hide things, who isn’t touchy and who wouldn’t even think to rape anyone. Just have to insist a bit, try again. You can find the right person to bound with, don’t desist.

alice55 · Accepted Answer

I mean the first red flag is that he's a lawyer never go with them they're professional liar, they're the worst.

Also why the fuck would you continue to date him after learning he's a criminal? And all the shit he said about women?

You say there's no good men but you spot 30 red flag and still continue to date him, the good guys must have been taken in the mean time...

joehypo1 · Answer

Because at least 80 percent of all guys are fucked up and twisted in one way of another , why is it so hard to find someone that has a few demons I do get what your saying the last 4 or 5 guys my sister has met for i think facebook of all places lets see one of them was a outlaw biker like 1%er type then there was the murderer abd theb the coked out race car driver , my step sister was matched up with a murderer also and me Im destin to be single til i die I guess just got out of 15 year relationship and now I dont trust anybody

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Firstly, glad you're safe that's a terrifying anecdote.

As someone in a similar predicament to you, I know many young men feel the same on the other side.

Where are all the kind, loving women who aren't obsessed with social media, material wealth, and sex?

I think these dating apps are really hurting dating as a whole. I'd say to put yourself in places where good men are (as I've tried to do the same with women), such as volunteering events, community service, or a church.

animalwithin · Answer

Don't use dating apps! The most unstable women I've ever dated were from dating apps, I'll never use them again.

Go meet men in the real world doing things you enjoy. Good men are out there, we're not living in the digital world.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

So you have met one criminal. Chances are, the next ten guys you’ll meet are not criminals. Savvy? 🤔😬

Fireguy17 · Answer

you can look the up on ccap, for your state and that will usually show any court history or pending cases.

spartan55 · Answer

So he is just walking around a free man after those crimes? This is fake.

noohair · Answer

OMG! I have alway gone with my gut feelings with this kind of thing. If something feels weird to me, I go with that feeling. I trust my gut. Good luck girl.

Amur8711 · Answer

Omg, I am glad your safe! I hope that dirt bag rots in jail forever!

RHK36 · Answer

Signs are usually there. Don't ignore the red flags.

Anonymous · Answer

Because most women today find decent men boring and reject them.  It's actually amusing how many times you type of women repeat the same mistake and do not learn from it.😆

Anonymous · Answer

decent men have bowed out of the dating market and left the shitshow

shortster · Answer

Guys that seem too good to be true usually are. Or aren't single.

TallAnon · Answer

Crazy experience, but fortunately those cases are definitely rare

karahanlı1453 · Answer

bu devirde düzgün insanla tanışmak artık altından daha değerli oldu

In_Trance · Answer

You need to have the right conversations when you first meet someone.

Anonymous · Answer

For the same reason it's so hard to find a decent woman nowadays. People suck.

HawkPerception · Answer

Change your filter in men.

RavVid · Answer

Well that was a close escape. Glad you are OK.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Your gut instincts serve you well!

moneymagnet24 · Answer

Decent man don't date online chick's...

crazyymann · Answer

are you austuralian, right?

eagle1951 · Answer

your first line saids it all App

I found out I went on a date with a criminal , Why is it so hard to find a decent man nowadays?

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