Search Results: a guys first time

I know i likely am, and i genuinely dont think he's interested or anything, and even if he was it would be illegal, but I've developed a big crush on the IT guy at college (he does exams aswell) . I've been there part time since last September (although I've been doing online courses before) at night class and now daytime for one day. My room at night class was on the same corridor as his office, and actually even when i first met him/seen him then i teased him about the last time i did an exam cos he took forever to get the password right 😂😂i actually thought he was a bit odd, bit of a dork at first, like he isn't even remotely attractive but still there seems to be something for me to be attracted to him, which is why im struggling with this/being around him. We spent a lot of time on our own organizing my exam and i need a specific chair for my health (back/tinnitus) and so i would have ventured into his room a lot, he never cared or said i wasn't allowed (im not allowed there in the other campus) there was an actual pinpoint of where it started i guess i seen him in a different light, im sure he was just doing his job but he told me something about my daytime course from his diary that he shouldn't have, gave me his chair for my exam to sit on and just generally been nice to me even though most people are sick of me😂😂

Anyway it was the last night of the course (2 days before my exam) and i was stood near the doorway of the room and there's a little bit of the room that has another door inbetween (there's a printer) and of course i only turned my head for a split second as he's walking past (and no, didn't even know he was there) u can guess it, im convinced there was an eye contact of some sort😂😂 and yet i know deep down it likely wasn't. My teacher pushed me to go see him regarding my exam and it actually felt so awkward and later im literally staring at him and getting distracted 😂😂

More on the update

My first REAL crush in my teens was a guy a little older than me. He was confident funny, not the best looking but I liked him loads. He liked me too and I had my first sexual experience with him. There was chemistry there. Due to the age differences my parents got someone to warn him to keep away from me, I only found this out a few years ago! He was only 3 years older but he was from a bit of a rough part of town.. he was a decent guy from what I knew about him. At the time he just stopped taking an interest and I was literally heart broken. I didn’t even know why.

Today I randomly sent him a song that reminded me of him and we talked briefly. we maybe speak once a year if that. But this time he told me that he had actually really liked me all those years ago and when he discovered I’d met someone else he was jealous. He said he found it hard to be around me knowing he couldn’t do anything. I just thought he’d gone off me! He’s married with 2 kids now but I’m just shocked he’s told me this now.. out of the blue. What does it mean? He seems really sincere. I do still think about him at times.