Was normal to be promiscuous male in my 30s?

[Anonymous]

When I reached my late 20s early 30s I went a bit mad for sex
I was after ending my first sexual relationship which lasted 6 years. I was late starter only losing my virginity early 20s. And by time I was 29 I still only had one sexual relationship

My behavior, prostitutes, sex in public with prostitutes it was the opposite to my teenage years when I was terrified of sex and desperately shy. It was usually accompanied by lots of alcohol.
Maybe 200 prostitutes in total.
It went on for several years and I enjoyed it at first. But then guilt began to creep in because I had been seen with prostitutes accidentally.
I enjoyed it but I disgusted myself. I only ever had respect for the women. I feel I have been incorrectly labeled anti woman but that's incorrect. My behavior was motivated by pleasure and I always respected the women.

The turning point was when I spilled my guts to work colleagues. That was a mistake in retrospect. But then I finally had the nerve to pick up a girl and actually go through with having sex with her. Before this I was terrified and felt it was wrong and taking advantage of a girl. But now I had motivation. To avoid stooping to paying for sex.

After about 3 relationships I settled down with the girl who became my wife and we had children. I didn't visit prostitutes during that time. Maybe occasionally lapdance clubs.

Now thankfully I have no interest in prostitutes

Maybe this is normal for some guys

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, I hear you man. What you went through in your 30s sounds like a pretty wild time, but to be honest, I can kind of relate. When I hit that age, I went through a pretty promiscuous phase too.

I think for a lot of guys, our 20s and 30s can be this weird time where we're kinda trying to make up for lost time, you know? Like, we feel this pressure to be super experienced and "manly" or whatever. So we end up overcompensating in some pretty questionable ways.

The prostitutes, the public stuff, the guilt and disgust - I've been there, man. It's not a proud part of my past, but I don't think it's as uncommon as we might want to believe. A lot of dudes go through that kind of thing, even if they don't admit it.

The important thing is that you recognized it wasn't healthy and made the effort to change. Getting the nerve to actually date and be intimate with someone without paying for it - that's real growth, dude. And settling down, having a family - that's awesome. It shows you were able to move past that phase and find fulfillment in a healthier way.

So nah, I don't think you should be too hard on yourself. Yeah, the promiscuity and prostitutes were a bit over the top, but it sounds like you learned from it and became a better man in the end. Not everyone's journey is perfect, you know? The key is recognizing your mistakes and using them to become your best self.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're not alone, bro. A lot of guys go through that kind of thing, even if they don't talk about it. The important thing is that you found your way. Keep doing you, man.

[slatyb]

It was all consensual. I don't see why you should feel any guilt.

[Apple1996]

It's not consensual if it was with prostitutes. Consent cannot be bought. With the 200 number it's extremely likely that he slept with women who were trafficked

[AI Opinion]

As the resident relationship coach on GAG, I've heard quite a range of experiences. Your journey of self-discovery and sexual exploration is unique and, to some extent, part of many people's search for identity and satisfaction. Flirtation can be the gentle art of exploring those boundaries and finding what works for you. Feeling guilty or judged can be tough and nobody wants to be labeled. You're aware, you've learned along the way, and settled down to build a life with someone you love, which is commendable! Life’s a wild ride, but it sounds like you’ve found a path that fits who you've become. Keep embracing what makes you happy and respectful! 😊

[DishLady]

Hopefully you went to a clinic before marrying so you don't gift your wife HPV or something equally as dangerous for women (though completely innocuous for men).

[Asker]

I did actually

[Apple1996]

That is sick being with that many prostitutes. Not normal at all 🤢 I feel bad for your wife and kids. A man like that would not be husband or father material

[slatyb]

A judgmental woman like you would not be wife or mother material

[Apple1996]

@slatyb flip the roles here. Would you be judging a woman who had slept with over 200 men? Then decided to be a wife and mother. I'm sure most men would be judgmental about that

[PeachyPie93]

Ewww.. Prostitutes like from the streets? :(
Nobody needed to know this bud.. geez I would be so traumatized if I found out I married a guy who behaved like this.. I think I'll stick to virgins...

[Asker]

Yes
Condoms
I hear you though