Search Results: changing for a guy

If not, then what traits would he need in order to change your mind?

I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months until we broke up about 3 weeks ago (another reason by her which i found out was a cover up for what she did) and our relationship has been fine until about 4 months ago, when she became friends with this one guy, which i didn’t like.

I told her on multiple occasions that his intentions weren’t good and that i heard from his friends that he wanted to hit on her. I of course told her this and she didn’t believe it, and told me that she knows how he acts and how he would never do such a thing. She also said that if i trust her and love her that i wouldn’t get worked up with this because she wouldn’t ever do anything as she is not interested in him.

She kept hanging out with him multiple hours a day even when i told her not to.

Fast forward to to a couple days ago, when we were already broken up, i was told by a friend of the guy that she cheated on me with that she cheated on me while i wasn’t in the country for the summer vacation, and while she was still dating me. After i confronted her she got defensive and didn’t admit at first, but when shown a picture of the hickeys that she gave to the guy, she admitted. She said that she broke up with me because she felt guilty but couldn’t tell me the truth. So we were together for about a month after she cheated.

She has been nagging me for the past days saying how she didn’t remember what happened as she drank too much, and that she has no interest in him and that she would do anything and stop seeing anyone if i gave her a second chance. She told me that she would prove me wrong and that she would change and she would never do such a thing again. I still love her and i don’t know if i should get back with her or give her some time to fix herself.

In my friend group, there are 2 guys that are married and they have completely different marriages.

Friend A: His wife constantly checks on him. He works from home, she works in office, and whenever she has a break, she calls to see what he’s doing. He claims that he loves it, but to me it seems like she’s always monitoring him. During my birthday party 2 years ago, she called him 4 times in a 3 hour span to see where he was at and ask if it was over. One time, we left his house and drove 15 minutes to pick up pizza. As we’re driving back, she calls to see where we’re at because in her mind it shouldn’t have taken that long. I don’t think she trusts him. She’s also forced him to change where he does his hobbies. He likes to play pool, but he can’t go to his favorite pool hall 30 minutes away. He has to go to the one 7 minutes away and be home by 9:30 pm.

Friend B: His wife never checks on him. Every time we hang out, his wife never calls or texts. For instance, the other day, he told her that he was going to play basketball with me from 8:30 to 12. He only lives 10 minutes from the court. After basketball, we went to get protein shakes and chatted until 1. A complete contrast from my other friend. He said that if he’s out late, she’ll just go to sleep and hear what he has to say in the morning. She trusts him completely.

I like Friend B’s marriage, however I wouldn’t mind a little text after let’s say 30 minutes of when I was going to be done to see what’s up. I could not do Friend A’s wife’s excessive calling.

What kind of partner would you rather have?