Search Results: dating ideas

I’m not really sure how to put this, but sone of you know I had ashes secersl questions about how you might react if someone you were seeing told you they plan to marry, you told them you do not, and they wanted to continue dating regardless. I found this odd and suspicious bc if you already know what you want and you know it’s not what the other person wants, well you either think they are not being serious or you are not being serious. That’s how I see it tho I know there’s varied opinions.

this situation confused me not just bc he said he def wants marriage but the whole way he spoke about his future plans he is not flaky and he seems kind of traditional so I don’t understand how he’s ok with a situation that doesn’t line up with his plans or values.

he wants to finish his phd and hopefully get married before his grandparents die (he’s not going to just marry anyone but he’s hoping the timing works out bc it will mean so much to them and they mean so much to him. I mean no doubt it’s super sweet it’s just…) he wants to go beck to Ukraine to get narrated have the celebration there & locate work in Europe bc he expects there will be few job opportunities in Ukraine itself and wants to be as close as possible to his family. We both have family from Ukraine but his is immediate family, mine is several generations down, so while I am Ukrainian so I’m not Ukrainian in the same way that he is.

now he’s telling me all this on basically the first time we were in a sort of date (went to the park before I went to work) we have been friendly for two years but I only asked him out a few weeks ago and bc of scheduling conflict it took us a while to get it together.

I did tell him I do not plan to marry for various reasons, he was quite in disbelief at that, also that I’m not sure what my ten year plan is. At the same time, he was very eager to see me again and as of now we will be going in a date next week. But I’m not sure it’s a good idea.

I don’t think he does based off something that happened today, but I definitely have strong feelings for him.

This is a long story so buckle in.

I’ve been friends with this guy who’s almost 10 years older than me since I was 19. He went to back to college, and that’s how we met. We’ve always just been friends and never crossed any lines with each other and are part of the same group. He graduated 3 years ago and moved back to our hometown (turned out we’re from the same city), but we’ve stayed in touch and I see him almost every time I visit.

Last year we were hanging out and the topic eventually went to dating (not each other just in general). I described my perfect guy and he said something like, “oh like how we do?” And that’s the moment the light bulb clicked in my head. Ever since then I’ve been developing feelings for him. I felt like he wasn’t returning my feelings, so I backed off to try and readjust my emotions.

A couple months ago, he called me out the blue and we’ve been texting/calling/watching shows through zoom together practically every day the last few weeks. My feelings for him are back and are definitely getting stronger. I’m not sure how he feels. It’s like he’s hot and he’s cold, he’s definitely sending mixed signals. He’s asked me what my plans for grad school are, wanted to know if I’d move out of state to go to the same school as him, stays on the phone with me while I share my location while in traffic, etc. In a show we watched recently, they were talking about date ideas and he kept telling me he wanted to take me to those places, so I started to feel like he might feel the same as me. Today I finally had enough of wondering and texted him that I’m wanting his attention more and more, and he deflected it and made a joke.

When we met 8 years ago, I was just a kid and he was pushing 30. I’m worried he still thinks of me as a kid and doesn’t see me as the woman I’ve grown into.

Is he just a good friend? Does he want more? What do I do?