Search Results: do you need to work at a relationship

My ex and I went through a lot of fights. Regardless, we managed to make it work because of our strong emotions. Just before our breakup, it reached a point to where he was calling me names and bringing up my family, basically no respect left on his part & coming at me for little things like me saying “thanks” instead of “thank you.” I blew up on him eventually & mentally checked out. 1 day we got into a fight and he said he’d block me (something he does when he’s mad). I then accepted some requests from guys- i was really mad-on social media (didn’t message them and deleted them later. He found out and hell broke and also found platonic msgs between a male friend I’ve known for 5 years. Those msgs included funny memes. I stopped being friends w/ this guy for him. He asked to check my phone, I didn’t agree because he should trust me & wouldn’t want him to think it’s ok to check my phone whenever he feels the need in the future. We ended up breaking up. We kinda kept in touch though to reconcile. Weeks turned into months leading up to us meeting in person. As we were chatting, he told me his expectations which included he checks my phone, I agreed. Then he asks to see my male followers to ask how I know them. I told him some are friends (since HS) and he didn’t like that. He said he doesn’t like his girlfriend to have male friends & I should take off whoever he doesn’t like. I had a reaction and didn’t let him check my phone so ofc he had major issues. We never got back together but now we’re surfacing the relationship again he told me of the same expectations. I’m really conflicted and don’t know if getting back with given expectations are normal or not. Is getting back a good idea?

My relationship lasted 4.5 years, and it ended 2 weeks ago. We are doing the no-contact rule, so I can't discuss anything with him now. But, he decided to end it because he "felt like the bad guy," communication/compatibility issues, and my close-minded family (even though that was a minor issue out of everything). He said that he wanted to work on himself to understand his emotions/feelings better, make himself a better person, needed time/space, and he couldn't do it while we were together still. He also said he couldn't guarantee that he would return right now since he is unsure what he wants and has started therapy to figure that out. He discussed moving to another state since most of his family lives there, but he hadn't told me when he planned to leave. He even broke up with me over the phone and not in person. I asked to see him at least one more time in person to discuss it at least (we live 3 hours away from each other), and he said no.

I'm unsure how to feel about all of this besides a massive unfairness since I deserve the "best" version of him when he is done with therapy, and I didn't want to end it. I have researched his likelihood of returning online, and it seemed up in the air. The breakup wasn't the worst, and I know he still loves/cares about me to a certain degree since we did last this long. I feel like I am not getting all of the information about how he feels since he mentioned how he was "done/tired" of the relationship, but his plan after a month of no contact was to be "friends" (which could easily change now) initially with the breakup. What do you think? Do you think there's a chance of him returning after therapy? I know not to bank on it, but I wanted to see if other people were in a similar situation and what happened. His mom still supports me and is helping me process this the best she can. It feels weird because it felt rushed, and he seems indifferent about it all now. Like he even bought an engagement ring for me and everything.