Search Results: see him as a friend

I have this guy in my class whom I’ve known for a long time from an old school. We both moved to the same college, and since we didn’t know anyone there, we naturally started talking more. Recently, as we’ve been spending more one-on-one time together, I’ve started developing feelings for him.

I’ve heard that most guys believe men and women can’t really be just friends, so I thought that by spending more time together and getting closer, maybe he’d start to like me too. I consider myself an attractive person—people tend to turn their heads when I enter a room—so I wonder if he sees me as just a friend or if he might want something more.

The only thing that makes me doubt is that I’m four years older than him, and I wonder if that affects how he sees me. One thing I’m sure about is that if he wanted a hookup, he wouldn’t say no—but I’m not sure if he would actually want a relationship with me.

Hi Ladies!

Ok, so true story, a good guy friend of mine once sat at our favorite bar and "outlined" all my attributes for me in a way that was just matter-of-fact, like a lawyer making a case for his client. In closing, he said, "... I've known all this since the first time I saw you. You just light up the room as soon as you walk into it, without doing anything at all. Any guy who can't see and feel that is nuts." He held up his Macallan and toasted me, which made me laugh and nudge him. It was very sweet and meant to get me out of the funk of the nasty things people were saying about me being a divorcee, etc.

Today's the anniv of his passing (RIP 2020, COVID), so he's on my mind. I didn't reject his incredible compliment, but I didn't really accept them and let them sink in till this month. Since this heart to heart five years ago I've had lots of compliments about different things and I always automatically deflect them as something kind the other person is saying. I don't take it to heart. Sometimes if a person goes on and on about something I did I'll blush, quietly thank the person and outline THEIR qualities, indicating that if I'm good at something it's because I have the benefit of working with THEM (which I also truly believe... no one really stands alone 100%). This morning I receive a compliment and I let it sink in a little... to my heart... and it was a great feeling. I think my friend sent this person my way with a kind word because I was feeling glum and remembering all our chats before he passed on...

Anyway, I got to thinking... how many of us don't know how to accept a compliment?

Take a moment to think about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to you. How did you respond? Did you ACCEPT the compliment or DEFLECT it?