Search Results: ask him for a second chance

I'm 40, and recently broke up with my boyfriend (47) of 11 months. We had hundreds of days filled with highs, he is social, charming, has a lot of friends, loves going out, having fun. He was very sweet, romantic and caring during these times. There were red flags that I tried to rationalize- binge drinking multiple times a week, crippling debt from student loans and cc (>200K), no career motivation and health issues that started popping up (probably from drinking). We had 6-7 arguments over the last year, that I thought were heated but never out of control (and always under the influence of alcohol). The next day we'd both apologize and move on. I realized he'd get overwhelmed then, and sometimes even at the smallest disagreement or when I needed to vent (when both were sober). I showed concern about his health and debt and the stupid fights that happened while drinking. Asked him to cut back, but he was super defensive and in denial. Fast forward to the new year, we were going to move in together and he was going to propose. He suddenly started acting disinterested and cold and last week suddenly declares he doesn't want to move in together. I'm taken aback and ask why, and he brings up the fights and that it's too frequent. I ask if he's overwhelmed with all his issues, and he admits he is, but keeps blaming me for the fights. I say I'll work on being more understanding and only bring up stuff while we're both sober and in a calm way, but I can't change the past, only do better in the future. He's reluctant to accept my words and I finally ask in frustration if he wants to break up. He says he doesn't know what wants, but needs time on his own to think. Over the next 3 weeks, I don't hear from him and he ignores my call and texts, forcing me to text and email him an official breakup note. Rationally, I know he's not good for me in his current state, but my heart still loves him. I want to know if a man like this can change. Does he deserve a second chance?

My crush (who used to like me or be at least slightly interested In getting to know me) and I are taking a course this semester. When we were asked to form groups he looked at me a few times but I already joined another. When two girls approached him he started to flirt with one of them very obviously and loudly. He seemed very flattered and surprised by her and said „WTF?“ to his friend when he left the room.

A few days later during the lecture (his group partner wasn’t there) he stared at me for 10 seconds from afar but I didn’t react. Now he seems to focus on her and acts slightly nervous around her but up until last week he didn’t greet her or sit next to her so I thought there was not much going on.

However two days ago this girl chose to sit right in front of me (she was the second person after me to enter the room so there were plenty of empty seats to chose) and my crush sat right next to her and was all cutesy and giggly with her. A few times when he leaned very close into her he glanced over at me but I forced myself not to look at both of them once.

My questions are:

1. Why did she choose to sit in front of me? I highly doubt that that was a coincidence

2. Why does he put her on a pedestal but not me (acting all nervous and competitive with other male students). Could he think more highly of her because she is smarter?

3. Is there still a chance for me or am I too late? They both seem to be dating or at least very close