Search Results: settling for someone

Even with no actual experience I still believe I fall under this category, I wonder if I need to manifest the law of attraction or something even though I do think that’s bs.

You know when you have a gut feeling? I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years, it’s come to the point where I’m not as interested & I swipe on matches/reply to msgs every few days. I’ve never had a real relationship, I saw someone for a few months maybe 5 years ago & something told me after I saw him that’d I’d be single for a long time. With him it felt like settling & I refuse to ever be with someone that made me feel like that again.

I had to use dating apps bc I’m not very friendly & I don’t get approached in person. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & I will say I have a very low sex drive (haven’t masturbated or had sex in 5 years). I don’t think this is a huge deal considering this isn’t something that will be an issue that early on, a guy can’t just look at my profile/see me in person & know that right off the bat.

I get matches (never been the issue) but it’s always: ghosting, fizzling out, lack of interest (can go both ways), feelings not reciprocated, just not a good match & some guys are just crazy. I just always have a gnawing feeling like guys aren’t attracted to me, I’d get told once in a while that some guy looked at me/found me cute but they never do anything about it. And I don’t either hence why I’m posting this

TLDR: based off the description, is this something that’s unlucky in love?

28F, growing up some family members would always talk about me having a boyfriend. I figured relationships would just happen naturally but not the case (at least for me). But dating always felt somewhat “meh” for me since then, not a priority & my mindset hasn’t changed much. In my early twenties I tried using the apps more frequently, to this day I don’t have an issue getting matches but finding someone just hasn’t happened. I’m told I’m attractive but I experience the common issues with lack of connection, fizzling out, ghosting etc. The last time I saw someone was in my early twenties but it felt like settling & I was glad when it ended. To this day I promise myself that I will stay alone until I meet someone that really checks my boxes and that seems to be how it’ll end for me considering I’m almost 30. Not sexual at all by any means either, is this lack of interest common? I worry mine is because of lack of success versus being genuinely disinterested

28F, I don’t think my standards are that unreasonable. I think I have a decent idea of how most people perceive me, with that being said I feel I should be able to attract the kind of guy I’d want. Cute looks, tall, smart, decent job, good sense of humor etc. The last time I saw someone was when I was 23 & it felt like settling which is why I refuse to ever see someone like that again. If you’re in a relationship now, did you hold those standards or have to compromise/settle because you couldn’t find what you really wanted?

Yes I know what I want but I feel like I have enough going for me to have a little bit of wiggle room when it comes to being kind of selective. I want someone w a decent job, tall, cute/decent looks, funny etc. I’m not asking for 6 figures & a runway model, I’m told I’m attractive but I’m never approached in person. On dating apps I get msgs & matches but it just doesn’t work out (ghosting, lack of interest, fizzling out etc). Last time I saw someone was when I was 23 & that felt like settling which is why I’m glad that’s over. I’m convinced some people like me are meant to be alone

28F, I’m told I’m attractive & while I have confidence issues, I don’t get asked out by guys ever. I’m not sociable but I feel like dating is impossible for me. I have never been asked out by a guy I’d actually want to date & I’d much rather be alone vs be with someone that feels like settling. I’m reading a book & even though it’s fictional I know this kind of stuff happens. The character was asked out by her successful handsome boyfriend while shadowing him at some kind of internship. I know I’m not a 10 but I feel like I should have more relationship experience under my belt, I can’t blame myself. Do decent guys like the one I talked about from my book do things like this? I feel like it’s common but I’m unlucky

28F, I’ve been single for 5 years. I dated someone briefly for a few months when I was 23 & I felt like I was settling with him which is why I’m glad things ended. He knew he was the first guy I steadily saw but wasn’t romantic with me, he knew what I expected on Valentine’s Day (the cliche stuff). Instead he takes us out to dinner & while he did take pay for most things/paid to take me on a cruise for his bday vacation I just felt like he wasn’t into me enough. That’s one example but he was too eager to have sex (wasn’t willing to wait for marriage) & that was another turn off. I’ve been single since bc I’d rather be alone vs feel I’m with someone mediocre. I am convinced I’m going to end up alone considering no one better has come around since

Signs of someone with low self-respect (as generated by ChatGPT):
1. Tolerating mistreatment: A person who does not have much self-respect may tolerate being mistreated by others
2. Negative self-talk: Constant negative self-talk, such as calling oneself names or putting oneself down
3. Seeking approval: Constantly seeking approval from others and basing one's self-worth on external validation
4. Inability to say no: People with low self-respect may have a hard time saying no to others, even if it's not in their best interest.
5. Settling for less: A lack of self-respect may cause someone to settle for less than they deserve

Would you lose interest if someone you were talking to had someone of these signs?

You know when you have a gut feeling? I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years, it’s come to the point where I’m not as interested & I swipe on matches/reply to msgs every few days. I’ve never had a real relationship, I saw someone for a few months maybe 5 years ago & something told me after I saw him that’d I’d be single for a long time. With him it felt like settling & I refuse to ever be with someone that made me feel like that again.

I had to use dating apps bc I’m not very friendly & I don’t get approached in person. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & I will say I have a very low sex drive (haven’t masturbated or had sex in 5 years). I don’t think this is a huge deal considering this isn’t something that will be an issue that early on, a guy can’t just look at my profile/see me in person & know that right off the bat.

I get matches (never been the issue) but it’s always: ghosting, fizzling out, lack of interest (can go both ways), feelings not reciprocated, just not a good match & some guys are just crazy. I just always have a gnawing feeling like guys aren’t attracted to me, I’d get told once in a while that some guy looked at me/found me cute but they never do anything about it. And I don’t either hence why I’m posting this 🤷🏻‍♀️

TLDR: based off the description, is this something that’s unlucky in love?

I’m starting to realize that maybe men just don’t like me, I’m going to be 30 soon & never been in a proper relationship. I don’t want kids at least but I really don’t think I’m unattractive, I have self esteem issues so my opinion changes. But I’ve been on the dating apps for years on and off, my interest in them just became lesser over the years. Getting matches are never the issue it’s just it working out, always ghosting, fizzling out, etc. I’m told I’m cute/attractive, I never get asked out by guys in person, I can confidently say I’ve never been approached by a guy I found physically attractive. Back when I was 23 I dated someone briefly & I felt so offended by only being able to attract him it felt like settling I couldn’t be with him, I’ve been alone this whole time that shows you how men feel about me. When I was younger and around people my age more often I was told these guys found me attractive but they never did anything about it. The fact that beautiful people are always taken it makes me realize I’m maybe just not good enough. Isn’t it strange being as old as I am & still not meeting someone that I actually like? I’m not asking for a lot: good looks, taller than me (doesn’t have to be 6+ ft), educated, good sense of humor, not a cheater etc. I feel like I’ve genuinely become less interested in dating with my experience, I have a lower than average sex drive too I think