Search Results: walk away from him

I'm on the the heels of a horrible break up from a relationship I never really wanted to be in anyway.

I'm sore but well on the mend.

This whole thing has been going on for about 6 months.

Long story short, on my street is a really popular and vibrant restaurant. There are a ton of wait staff there, all male.

There are a couple that would kind of scope me out but I felt it was curiosity since I am fairly mysterious.

One server in particular has pathetically, IMHO, tried to get my attention when I would pass by by clearing his throat.

Once he decided to stare and not look away.

I don't jump to these silent cat calls.

He's tried to smile at me and stuff but I've been stoic because he is a smoker and I am judging him. I'll be honest.

Fast forward, I have started getting takeout there from time to time. When I walk in, some of the kitchen staff will look at him when I come in.

I purposely look away and I see him in my peripheral vision staring at me.

When I was waiting for my order, all he could do was stand really close to me when he was ringing in his table and I was ordering take out.

I caught him once staring, he looked away so fast and swallowed so hard. He was so embarrassed.

Th other evening a friend of mine treated me and we ate there.

We were seated at the back. He kept coming to the back sneaking looks at us. He works the patio.

My friend ordered some takout and we were waiting for it on the patio. He came to take our order and went straight up to me. My friend then explained we were just waiting for take out. He smiled and left.

Then he stood at the top of the stairs so he could totally see and hear us but he was pretend not watching.

We both pretend to ignore each other, actually.

I am just still reeling from all the recent emotional abuse and I feel this push-pull behaviour is a sign he is another immature, undercover narc looking for attention from someone he views as vulnerable.

Poll below!

She is 25 and he is 29. He said he is just having a gut feeling they won't work out and being ADHD, he follows it. He also said he feels like she is more invested and loves him more than he loves her.

They have been together 4 years.

However they didn't finish the conversation just kind of walked away from it. When she asked the next morning if they were together or broken up, again met with silence and both just kind of walked away from it.

As she was leaving, he gave her a hug and kiss (he rarely does, not a real affectionate person) so she found that strange. SO she was like, "Are we good? Like we're going to try and work things out?" He said, "we're good, i'll call you later"

When he called they just talked like normal about work, their day, etc. So she is so confused on how to handle the situation without scaring him into rethinking breaking up but also she needs to know. WHY would he all of a sudden show a grand gesture of emotion and call her if he was so adamant about breaking it off?

When someone becomes a victim of a crime, many people will start to excuse the criminal or blame the victim without realizing they are doing so.

At the same time, many know they are doing it and continue to do it.

This is commonly called victim blaming. Both men and women will do it towards sexual assault victims, because they should not have been wearing those cloths or been in this place or they drank too much.

This is an attempt to shift blame from the criminal to the victim.

Many will say those in bad situations got themselves into it, such as trafficking victims can just walk away or call 911.

If they do not, then they are not truly victims.

I am not strictly referring to sexual crimes though, this happens with almost any type of crime. People who carry a lot of cash and get robbed, could be blamed. Why were they carrying so much cash, that is their own fault.

Someone who was conceal carrying, locked their gun in their car because they can't take it in where they are going, it gets stolen. They are a victim of theft and yet others will blame them when their gun is used in a crime.

Virtually any type of crime, someone will blame the victim.

Do you in part blame the victims or wholly? Intentionally or unintentionally. Do thoughts cross your mind, that if they had done or not done (insert whatever) that they would not have become a victim or because they did something they choose to become one?