Search Results: he likes me as more than a friend

So there’s this guy that I’m friends with, and we have been friends for sometime. I used to have a crush on him and I admitted to him that I was attracted to him. He said he didn’t feel the same way and I didn’t feel a ways about it so we just moved on. It took me a minute but I finally got over my attraction.

However, this man makes sexual jokes about us engaging in sexual acts, saying he thinks of me when he uses his sex toys, touches my leg, likes to make fun and a lot more. He flirts with me a lot. I catch him staring at me sometimes too, and when I look up sometimes he’ll look away, sometimes he’ll maintain eye contact. More than what a guy friend would do.

However, anytime I jokingly say he likes me he gets unnecessarily defensive about it. Also, he tends to play some songs (love songs or affectionate songs) when I’m around, he tends to do that when he can’t express himself. And he gets jealous when I talk to other guys (romantically or not). Even if it’s for a short spell, he stares at the man. Or if I talk about having another guy friend he gets fairly defensive about that too. But, he talks to girls a lot and has female friends too.

And the one thing I’ve noticed when interacting with his female friends is that they tend to act weird around me. As if they have some type of animosity towards me, but I don’t hang out with them enough for them to even have animosity so I have no idea. I suspect that he may talk about me to them a lot and they don’t like that, and some of them may even like him but he tends to give me a lot of attention. So I’m trying to figure out, is it possible that he likes me?

I'm hurting right now and very upset. My suspicious were confirmed just 2 days ago when my husband left his FB messenger open. It was messages between him and my SIL (sister-in-law). He admitted to her that he always loved his ex girlfriend Olivia from his much younger years. They met as 9 year-olds playmates, then dated for a short time in their Sophomore year of HS, she broke up the next year and met someone else.

The woman is married but still has him on his FB contact list as friends. He admitted to my SIL that he still loves her more than me. He loves me but I'm not really his first option. He would've wanted to have kids with her. He also said it was true what he once told me while drunk when we were just dating. Then this was the hurting part for me, the SIL asked if he would leave me if Olivia were to get divorced now and she reciprocated his feelings and he reply was a ''Yes, unfortunately I would leave (my name) but that'll never happen. I have to accept being in Olivia's forever friendzone''.

Flashback to the time we were just boyfriend and girlfriend:

We were drinking and while making love, he called me by her name. He literally said ''Oh Olivia, I love you... yeah''. Then tried to fix it right away when I got upset immediately. He called it a stupid drunken mistake and how we would never get drunk like that ever again and even reconfirmed me a bunch of times that he got over her already. I stupidly believed him.

Is this fair? We have a 7 year-old son and he's still obsessing over her? He never got over her and just got with me as second best.