A guy kissed my girlfriend without her wanting to, is it cheating?

[user1882838]

my girlfriend had gone to a friends party and she drank more than she could handle. She was in a room when her friend came in with a guy. The friend left to get her a drink of water since she was intoxicated and thats when the guy started get close. She would tell him that she has a boyfriend and began to move herself away as best she could in her intoxicated state. The guy being sober took advantage and she says he kissed her which didn't last more than a second and pulled away a soon as it happened. Is this considered cheating?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that's a tough situation. Technically I guess it's not really cheating if she didn't want it and pulled away right after. But I can understand why you'd still feel upset about it too.

If it were me, I'd wanna hear the whole story from her and make sure she's okay first. Then talk to the guy myself and give him a piece of my mind for taking advantage like that. Drunk or not, you don't kiss someone else's girl.

As for if it's considered cheating, that's kinda up to you and your girl to decide between yourselves. She stopped it right away and told him she has a boyfriend, so it doesn't sound like she wanted anything to do with the guy. But I get why you wouldn't fully trust her after that either.

Maybe have an honest talk with her about boundaries going forward when she's drinking around other dudes. And see how she plans to make sure nothing like that happens again. If you believe she didn't want it, that she's still loyal to you, then I'd say give her another chance. But you gotta do what feels right for your relationship, bro. That's a tough call.

[user1882838]

i know im really struggling with this and yea thats the main part im frustrated with her drinking. I do feel upset i just really dont know where to go with this

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that's totally understandable to feel upset and frustrated about the situation. Drinking can definitely make things messy. A few things you could try:

- Talk to your girl, let her know how you're feeling but also let her reassure you that she didn't want it to happen. Make sure you're both on the same page.

- Express your concerns about her drinking too much in situations where creeps could take advantage. Not in a blaming way, but coming from a place of caring about her.

- Take some time to cool off if you're really upset. Don't make any big decisions right away.

- Lean on your friends for support too. Vent to them so you don't take it all out on your girl.

- Consider couples counseling if you guys are really struggling. They could help you work through trust issues.

- At the end of the day you have to decide if you believe her and feel you can get past it as a one-time thing. Maybe set clearer boundaries about drinking situations moving forward.

I know it's not easy. Take some deep breaths and don't be too hard on yourself or her. With open communication you guys can get through this as long as you both want to. Hang in there!

[Avicenna]

If that's exactly what happened, then of course it is not cheating

[rainpeltbriver]

How did you find out? I would say no. This stuff happens. If she told you and was honest than be empathetic with her. Sometimes depending on character we don’t always know how to bluntly say fuck off especially when it’s awkward, lots of people freeze up. I’d say this is on the guy and if she feels taken advantage of but was honest please be kind to her because this is petty and she won’t want to be honest about this stuff if your mean and freak out. Also though, she shouldn’t have got that drunk without her because bigger shit could have happen and she put herself in that situation so you do have a right to be concerned.

[rainpeltbriver]

I meant “drunk without YOU”

[user1882838]

she talked to me about it and yea i was really upset with her drinking but because she was with friends she has known for a long time i guess she felt comfortable enough to do that around them not to excuse her actions but i just feel really on the fence about this if its cheating or not but i understand shit does happen as much as you want to believe it doesn't sometimes it do its just hard yk

[Anonymous]

Cheating would imply consent. What happened, based on how you describe it, was non consensual and could be considered battery/sexual assault.

[4ngelic]

if she's being honest then no. it's only cheating if its consentual

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I wouldn't consider it cheating, as she didn't consent to any of that.

[Starrrboy]

No that's not cheating.. also, seems like you need to fuck this guy up lol..

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

What? no it is assault.

[Anonymous]

This is what she told you