This quote has been a constant away message of at least 50 million girls on my friend list (no, I’m not making that number up) and quoted on at least 25,000 Facebook profiles. It’s pure crap and I’m tired of reading about it. This is a quote that is the symptom of the Sex and the City age. Ladies, prepare your face, it’s about to be logic’d off.
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
That’s the dumbassery in it’s entirety. Now, for the breakdown.
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot” – I can ALMOST get behind this one, and if the quote ended here, I’d leave it alone. I mean, yeah sure women dress like they want to be admired as objects (oh no, wait, how sexist of me…they’re just expressing their sexuality and for me to admire their sexuality means I’m objectifying them…right, got it), but if you find a guy who is smart enough to not call you hot to your face, then congratulations, your boyfriend isn’t a loser. You’ve chosen wisely. If he is dumb enough to get caught calling you hot, then he’s probably not worth your time. Date me instead. I think you’re beautiful.
“who calls you back when you hang up on him” – Let me just rewrite this one. “Find a guy who’s enough of a little bitch to wait on my every whim and to always ask me ‘what’s wrong’ when I purposefully act mad to get attention. I love attention, why can’t I get more of it. GIVE ME MORE ATTENTION NOW!” That was pretty easy.
“or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...” – Can anyone else say CREEPY? How would you feel if you woke up one night and I’m hovering over your bed just watching you sleep? Yeah, that feeling you got reading that? That was “creeped out.” Any man who’d do that is a creep, you’re better off without him.
“wait for the boy who kisses your forehead” – AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW HOW SWEET? Boring. Guess what feels better than getting kissed on the forehead? Getting kissed on the neck. Find a guy who’ll do that. If he won’t, I will. Remember, I know you’re beautiful, babe.
“who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,” – I took this one as two ways. Either it’s a pathetic girl’s attempt to have her value in life constantly validated by a man or it’s a guy showing off to his friend’s that his girlfriend is trying to work off the fat ass she got from the Valentine’s Day candy you bought her. I can’t decide which it was.
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
That’s the dumbassery in it’s entirety. Now, for the breakdown.
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot” – I can ALMOST get behind this one, and if the quote ended here, I’d leave it alone. I mean, yeah sure women dress like they want to be admired as objects (oh no, wait, how sexist of me…they’re just expressing their sexuality and for me to admire their sexuality means I’m objectifying them…right, got it), but if you find a guy who is smart enough to not call you hot to your face, then congratulations, your boyfriend isn’t a loser. You’ve chosen wisely. If he is dumb enough to get caught calling you hot, then he’s probably not worth your time. Date me instead. I think you’re beautiful.
“who calls you back when you hang up on him” – Let me just rewrite this one. “Find a guy who’s enough of a little bitch to wait on my every whim and to always ask me ‘what’s wrong’ when I purposefully act mad to get attention. I love attention, why can’t I get more of it. GIVE ME MORE ATTENTION NOW!” That was pretty easy.
“or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...” – Can anyone else say CREEPY? How would you feel if you woke up one night and I’m hovering over your bed just watching you sleep? Yeah, that feeling you got reading that? That was “creeped out.” Any man who’d do that is a creep, you’re better off without him.
“wait for the boy who kisses your forehead” – AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW HOW SWEET? Boring. Guess what feels better than getting kissed on the forehead? Getting kissed on the neck. Find a guy who’ll do that. If he won’t, I will. Remember, I know you’re beautiful, babe.
“who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,” – I took this one as two ways. Either it’s a pathetic girl’s attempt to have her value in life constantly validated by a man or it’s a guy showing off to his friend’s that his girlfriend is trying to work off the fat ass she got from the Valentine’s Day candy you bought her. I can’t decide which it was.
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**Continued**
“who holds your hand in front of his friends” – Again, any guy that doesn’t do this doesn’t deserve you because he’s an idiot and doesn’t know NOT doing this will p*ss you off. You’re better off without him. Don’t worry ladies, I’ll hold your hand. I think you’re beautiful.
“who holds your hand in front of his friends” – Again, any guy that doesn’t do this doesn’t deserve you because he’s an idiot and doesn’t know NOT doing this will p*ss you off. You’re better off without him. Don’t worry ladies, I’ll hold your hand. I think you’re beautiful.
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**Continues**“
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on” – Well, are you pretty without make up on? Let’s lay all our cards on the table here. Do you doll yourself up every Friday and Saturday night with the darkness of bars and clubs on your side, or are you genuinely beautiful. Because if you’re not, then you owe all those guys who bough you drinks money back, you conniving whore!
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on” – Well, are you pretty without make up on? Let’s lay all our cards on the table here. Do you doll yourself up every Friday and Saturday night with the darkness of bars and clubs on your side, or are you genuinely beautiful. Because if you’re not, then you owe all those guys who bough you drinks money back, you conniving whore!
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**Continued**
“One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you...” = Isn’t this the day and age of equality? Can’t women drive? Can’t women vote? Isn’t holding a door open for a lady considered sexist now? Then why the f*** do women constantly need their lives validated by men. It’s as if men stopped complimenting you on a daily basis, the entire female gender would suddenly vanish. But don’t worry baby, I’m not like those a**holes. I think you're bea
“One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you...” = Isn’t this the day and age of equality? Can’t women drive? Can’t women vote? Isn’t holding a door open for a lady considered sexist now? Then why the f*** do women constantly need their lives validated by men. It’s as if men stopped complimenting you on a daily basis, the entire female gender would suddenly vanish. But don’t worry baby, I’m not like those a**holes. I think you're bea
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“The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.’” – “Hey buddy, isn’t that your girlfriend who just lost her high heel in the middle of the street as she was cutting in and out of traffic to get into Dunkin Donuts?”….”Yeah man…that’s her.”
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