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We had what I thought was a good sex life etc

We always did new things, loads of oral. He claimed I did some crazy things on top just before he cheated. Said he loved eating me out could do it for hours. Loved how I looked giving him head etc.

Do you think he’s now with her thinking all that’s better with her

Because he cheated and never came back. Or was it purely to avoid the kids. He always complained about having to deal with the kids and didn’t want to do anything with them. Ruined their birthdays cos he wanted to sleep in etc. he refused to spend money and time on them. Said wished never had kids. Left at the start of the year for months without seeing them. Doesn’t treat them ever.

Is it just she accepts he doesn’t wamt them whereas I wanted him to be a dad

To expand on this, there is this idea that being a parent is very different from wanting a baby.

To want a baby is to want to have something adorable to take care of, something cute that looks like you, that you can dress up how you like, that's completely reliant on you to teach it what it needs. Wanting a baby is wanting something that looks like you that you can bond with on a one-sided basis as babies are not smart enough to comprehend what a bond is, only that you provide them with food and love and shelter and give them what they need when they need it. They are totally helpless and you are helping them happily and find reward in taking care of them, but once the child begins to show signs of their own autonomy that begins to change.

Being a parent means being ready to help a child discover who they are, build on their autonomy, support them and learn new things about this child as they discover these new things, guiding them towards the path that is right for them even if it's one you disagree with on some level (i. e. religious parents helping their queer child be more comfortable being out to them). Being a parent means understanding that you are sacrificing for the sake of someone else and not only willingly accepting that but embracing it because watching your child become an adult is rewarding, despite all of the time you spend losing sleep, losing money, and losing energy to help your baby grow into a child, then a teenager, then an adult.