Why would a married man have an affair for almodt a decade then get teary eyed about it when the shit hits the fan?

[Anonymous]

OK please no criticism I'm only seeking a non judgmental opinion.

7 year affair, I told him that I have communicated with his wife 3 Years ago.

I remind him of that every few months so he can be prepared to be blindsided by her. She has never confronted him but sends me sarcastic quotes regularly on her social. For years.

Latest quote was being alone with someone is worse than being alone. And how u can't help who comes into ur life but you can throw them out the window lol. And something about funny how people get mad when you treat them how they treated you.

She is a non working sahm for 20 years.

They live in another state last 4 years with teens but he's sees me 2 or 3 days a week in his business state and stays with me a full week every 2 months. But he has his own apartment here.

He lost a ton of money 4 years ago he's in the red. But new biz opportunities are in the make soon he will be very well set up in 2 years.

So I reminded him he needs to protect himself and his new biz partners from his wife in case she's waiting to take action. He needs an attorney to LLC him or tell his new partners about his circumstance because it's not right to fuck them over by not saying anything.

He Said nothing but his eyes got watery.

I'm wondering if maybe he read her social, recently. He NEVER did in the past.

Why would he get teary over this? Like what did he think would happen. Can't be love, guilt? Obligation? Embarrassed? Potential loss off his future? His 1st time ever he may be held accountable?

I don't get it. Why cheat and stay in a relationship for YEARS if ur gonna cry about it later.

[normalice]

Men get sad about the passage of time. When things are going well we'd like to put everything in stasis and make only the day-to-day changes that suit us. That, of course, is impossible and we get sad that it's impossible.

[Asker]

That's very sad. Because someone who owns multiple businesses and has partners, is extremely irresponsible to have a long term affair or even consider cheating without proper legal guidance to protect himself and his partners.
Correct?

[normalice]

Sure, but responsibility is something that only matters after some time has passed. An older guy getting some firm supple ass may very well have been the entire point of all his life's work, anyway. Perhaps he is sad that it is ending. Sort of like if you paid to see a movie and while watching completely escaped reality. Then when the movie is over you might be sad you don't get your money back despite the fact that the service the movie provided was ended without your permission. It is childish but there's no way to force someone to grow up. You can only ensure the consequences hang over them ready to drop the instant they can, which of course is also childish..

[Asker]

Good analogy. I see now why they are married for so long. Both lacked the maturity to discuss life altering actions. The only ones who don't deserve it are his kids.

[BoopBoopBeep]

He had his cake and ate it too for years. Now that arrangement is ruined. Why wouldn't he be upset about that?

[Asker]

Yes I'm thinking this also. At first I was like does he love her and feel bad? But how if he's been lying and cheating SO long.
Now I think it's tears of holy shit of now he may have to man up to consequences.

[BoopBoopBeep]

your last sentence. 100%

[msc545]

Ask him, not us.