Do you sometimes feel happy you went through break up?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

When I was trying to come back to China to meet my ex fiancé, I met a girl, she was Thai. She had a Chinese husband. They were newlyweds when they got stuck in different countries and China didn’t allow her in the country either even though they were married.

Unlike my fiancé and I, they were just away from each other for a year. During which that husband of hers got a new girlfriend and totally dismissed his wife and even blocked her….

He lived together with that new girlfriend.

That girl really fought for him.

In my relationship, all I did was just talk to him. I never chased him and would never do that. If he wanted to leave in the end, he could leave, I would never chase him in a different city. So I took his decision as a final decision and tried to accept and respect that even though I was dying of a sadness and heartbreak.

Now that girl though chased her husband and went to his new apartment, where she caught him with another girl, she confronted her saying she is the wife of him and that girl confronted her saying she is the girlfriend and he loves her more haha… Gosh… Such dramas.

Eventually through family’s involvement, they got back together and started living together. During which that girl has been very unhappy, that man still chats with other women and now that girl told me, he took all his things and left her home, without food, without money without anything.

I am not friends with her, I talk with her occasionally. I offered her help to buy food.

She traveled all the way from Thailand to China to be with him and that’s the result. I feel very sad for her and I hope she realizes that man is a rare asshole and is not worth her any more minute.

I feel happy my relationship never got this awful and things ended in much better way than for this girl.

I feel sad for her and I feel like she got very unlucky in her love pursuit to meet such an asshole.

I now suggest she forgets her and keeps going on with her life. I’ll try to help her find a job.

Updates

8 mo

And she also told me she came to China with her savings, which her husband took and wasted behind her back… God… I feel so surprised such things happen.

[dynamicyandere]

Happy may be too strong of a word.


But, I’ve felt relief or sadness combined with the solemn comfort of truth and acceptance.


(When you end a relationship that you knew did not have a bright future.)


Sometimes it was just an unfortunate mismatch of values or chemistry—where it truly isn’t anyone’s fault, it’s just a bad match.


Other times, it really is dodging a bullet, stepping away from a dysfunctional relationship, and feeling a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.


When you can truly tell yourself and believe it when you say, “This is for the best. Things are better this way.” Then, you know that you can live without regrets.


I do my very best to make my decisions ones which I won’t regret.


I want to live life where I can minimize my regret and maximize my sense of fulfillment so that before I die, I will be happy with the way that I’ve lived my life.


Sometimes that means fighting for love with all your might. Other times, that means letting go.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You are right.

In my case, looking at the situation of this girl, I realized, I am lucky I was away from my ex fiancé for 2 years and never experienced something like this. And he never treated me this way. Even though things ended badly and I thought there couldn’t happen anything worse.

I now see the story if that girl and realize, my break up was a fairytale compared to the pain this girl might have been through.

I’ve never been through this much humiliation. My ex didn’t cheat on me as I found out, he just betrayed me by break up but he didn’t bring girls home when I was there, he didn’t marry me and then started getting new girlfriends, he didn’t leave me all alone in his country, even after we broke up, he offered me his bank card and offered to send me money before I settled. Which I turned down, as I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, but he still offered, right?

This girl though has a husband here, she came all the way from Thailand for him and now I sent her money for food while her husband has left her home and she doesn’t know if and when he will come back.

And he most likely went to that girlfriend of his.

[dynamicyandere]

Yes, that that girl is going through is absolutely heartbreaking.

She risked everything, only to be betrayed in the worst way.

What you went through was very painful.

But, it is better to have gone through what you unfortunately went through than to go through what she is experiencing.

For a relationship to work, especially if it’s difficult, BOTH people must fight to protect it—not just one side.

[dynamicyandere]

what that girl is going through*

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep… I feel very sad for her and It made me realize my story has not been that heartbreaking after all. Seems like things could have been way way more worse, as they are for this girl, unfortunately.

I was lucky that my ex wasn’t such a horrible person.

I don’t know what to tell this girl, I hope she’ll find the power to start over.

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah…

It’s a tough situation.

I think the best thing to do is to be empathetic and to hope that she can find the strength to fight for a brighter future.

To make the best of things, despite all that has happened.

[DaveJord]

OMG, YES!!! I mean I do a lot of dating, and you run into all types of women... things start off great and you think maybe this really it. But then around that 3-to-6-month time period the real person starts to come out. And now you are like how the hell am I going to end this without being a jerk or asshole.

So, yeah eventually the situation resolves itself and you feel so relieved in it ends. The best breaks ups for a man, is when she does it under the assumption, she is rejecting you, and you totally let her have that. Once a woman feels that it is her choice, and she is rejecting you... everything goes smoother with the breakup.

[EmyyWolf]

Ok I’m not reading all that lol 🤣🤣

But yes. Specially if you have a list written out about all their negatives. Add as many negatives about that IMBECILE as you need to. The more the better. This will give you relief because that FOOL is someone else’s nightmare now 🤣🤣

[petitedollbabee]

Only once. One awful relationship that ended with me finding out I was cheated on 3 times with my best friend and other friend. I was relieved when that relationship was over.

[AviatorTom]

I was sad when my wife of 20 years and I got divorced, even though it was amicable. When I think back on it, though, these several years later, I realize it was good for both of us. We've each moved on to good things. She has remarried and I have my long-term committed SO.

[AydenHazor]

I wasn't happy when the break up of my further marriage happened, and I tried to fix it up until the point she slept with my cousin, at which point I was done. Looking back, I am very happy to be out of that marriage as it was verbally and emotionally abusive and caused major issues with my mental health. I'm a better person because of the break up

[Slingblade1126]

I was never happy after a break up, even if I wanted it. The problem I had, is I would always think back to all the "good times" and wonder what happened. The time we first met, our first dates, when we first moved in together...

[madhatters4]

i think we can be happy about break ups or having gone through them. i think upon reflection we can learn a lot from relationships even if they end badly. we can appreciate them for what they were and perhaps what we took away from them.

[sheikalana]

After a while yes, is more of a sense of relief.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, it is not an ending, rather a new beginning.

[slatyb]

Yes, every day I'm glad I'm not with my ex-wife. Our child just got married so I don't expect I will ever see her again.

[Andres77]

The misery leading up to the break up, made the actual break up, feel like such a relief. Not happy because it was still a tragic thing so just relief.

[SeaStorm1]

I was sad but I'm happy now that I don't deal with any shit.

[WhitneySnow]

You’re really nice to help her out like that

[FırtınaSavascisi]

Even though I sometimes act with the instinct of loneliness or sometimes I regret it, when I think that some people in my life are not good for me psychologically, I say maybe it was for the best.

[exitseven]

I don't know. Sometimes I wish I never met her in the first place

[marish01]

I feel happy I have never gone through breakup

[Hmaid]

Hi guys this weekend we have to go back for work today

[Anonymous]

no..

very few times it felt like i got paroled

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes cause whay doesn't kill you makes you stronger

[Christoff92]

No. Just move on and carry on with my day.

[eagle1951]

yeah

[hardboiledink]

Sad for her

[EaterPeter]

Nope