Search Results: don't make me

Simple question right? I will concede that falling in love with someone isn't 100% a choice, its a combination of attraction, and chemical responses. But continuing to love someone i believe is a choice.

Let me explain why i believe that.

Love needs to be nurtured. To maintain the relationship, you can't just expect the "Spark" to be there. Both sides need to make effort. Both sides need to do the things that maintain connection.

For example, Every morning when i wake up, i wake a half our prior to actually needing to get up so i can get extra cuddle time with my wife. When i come home from lunch i hug her, and tell her how much i miss her. When i come home at the end of the day i do the same, and then we cook together.. the important term here is Together. Hell even my furniture choices have centered around making sure that even when we are just watching a show together it means cuddle time. Additionally i took my grandfathers advice seriously, which was "Never stop dating your wife" So i make sure to do things like date nights, and spontaneous gifts, And by gifts, i mean things she's been wanting, to things as simple as chocolate. I tell her she's beautiful every day, and i tell her how much i love her every day. And this isn't one way, My wife does similar stuff for me.

Bottom line, if i chose to stop doing all of that, my wife would first think that there was something wrong, Then she would think that i was angry with her, and finally she would think that i dont love her. It would essentially kill the marriage.

Love, Marriage, And everything in between takes effort, Marriage is hard work, Its remembering to do the little things. Its making sure above all else that you have open lines of communication.

A lot of people fail to comprehend that, and i believe this is the reason for the horrific divorce rate.

See the following poem. it explains it quite well
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1959983/love-needs-nurture/

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I'll be honest, I love my motivation in starting a family over a decade ago.

but now the more time goes by the more proud and relieve I am that never started a family. I mean I still dont understand how is it that people still reproducing in the degenerate society we live in nowadays?

my anxiety, depression, Complex PTSD and all the other mental illness I have would of probably been far worst that what I am currently just knowing I have children that are being indoctrinated to rebel against their own sanity and biology.

knowing the fact that you can't protect them like a normal parent doesn't make anything easier.