Search Results: getting used by a guy

29F, I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years. I’m under the impression that I want a relationship as I install apps on and off. I’m at the point where I get drained when they’re installed & when I’m not in the mood to reply to messages or swipe on profiles, I end up actually using it every other day or every couple of days. When I’m at the point where I notice I’m not getting as many matches or likes after a couple of months, that’s when I delete & likely going on hiatus. I think deep down I must want something other than validation right? I like men but I haven’t been in a ltr yet, I saw someone for a few months in my early twenties & haven’t seen someone since bc I refuse to settle. I get interest from guys but it only seems to be on dating apps which I take with a grain of salt, I’m told I’m cute/attractive but never get noticed by guys I like in person (as in actually approached). I’m always told I haven’t found the right person & this may hold truth, I’m reserved & not affectionate/don’t have a sex drive really but feel like that could possibly change if I meet someone. I just worry I’ll feel regret as I’m getting old & still haven’t been in a ltr, I don’t want kids but open to marriage

I was chubby growing up & always assumed losing weight would result in getting more attention from quality guys (not counting the catcalling that happened when I’d go to NY). Now, here I am at almost 30, in a taller/slimmer body (women’s US 10) & I’ve never been approached by a guy I’d actually consider dating. I used to get more attention (but not much compared to other women I knew) but it was usually from questionable guys. And I’m told I’m attractive yet these women I knew would get an abundance of attention from guys. While people told me I was more attractive than these women & these guys that approached them would eventually show they wanted a *good time* a majority of the time, I just never understood why I always seem to be overlooked by guys. On occasion, people would tell me that this & that guy would be looking at me/found me attractive, those were the same guys I found attractive but they NEVER made it known to me directly. I should feel better about myself & while I’ve become more comfortable in my skin over the years, this is truthfully an insecurity that I don’t think I’ll ever completely overcome. Am I just unlucky? Or are most women really that fortunate to have their pick of the litter? I’ve gotten attention from attractive guys on dating apps but it doesn’t hold the same value to me, compared to if those same guys approached me in person. When I say *approached*, I mean in any imaginable scenario: clubs, bars, grocery shopping, coffee shops etc.