Am I behind it im 16 and i’ve never had a boyfriend before?

[melaniegonza]

had fumbles here and there but were all guys who didn’t really genuinely like me or weren’t looking for anything serious. i’m naturally awkward and shy, i stumble on my words and i have very few friends, highschool is difficult socially for me :( i also have social anxiety and i used to get picked on in elementary school

everyone knows i take care of my self image a lot, i have little problem with guys finding me attractive but i have had 0 accomplishment in getting a guy that likes me enough to want to date me.

my family tells me guys are probably not looking for anything serious right now and just want to fumble around but everyone in my class currently is in a relationship and have exes. i feel like there’s something wrong with me like i’m 16 and i’ve only had kisses and i got played badly during summer by a boy who pretended to want to date me for sex (which i didn’t give in to) and before that experience i wasn’t even looking for a boyfriend i was just experimenting with guys since it’s only been like a year that i’ve gotten male attention (before freshman year i was very unattractive), but after that guy awoke a feeling of love in me and then duped me i’ve felt so empty and a strong need for a boyfriend and someone to love me the same way he showed me but it seems impossible to find for me.

i tried talking to a guy i was interested in at my school who had never even kissed a girl before and he ended up cutting things off a week after i declined making out with him so soon.

can i get some tips? i honestly feel like i’m going insane i have no idea what to do, i know in shy but i’m funny and i’m able to get along well with people, i’m shy around boys but i’m not weird (i think).

ps: also my age on my profile is incorrect since i put my birthday wrong, i’m 16 not 19

[MrQun]

There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is entitled to go at their own pace. Also, I don't think that you should rush and try and get a boyfriend. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you should too. Take your time, otherwise you might make mistakes and gain emotional baggage which may negatively impact future relationships.

I'm 39 and believe it or not, I've never had a girlfriend. But then, I been dealing medical issues all my life that make dating and dealing with people very difficult. But on the plus side, I have no emotional baggage unlike a lot of women my age. All I can say about them is... wow!!! My advice, don't end up like them.

[melaniegonza]

but i don’t think it’s bad to gain experience, i would like to have at least one or 2 boyfriends before my 20s so i can get an idea of how to handle a relationship and what to do and what not to do, it’s scary for me to think i won’t have any relationship experience when i’m an adult

[boggboss]

Most likely yes it is your fault due to being shy and awkward they are nit massive issues but for the most part guys won't want to approach a girl that is shy and awkward and stating that everyone else in your class is dating means nothing most teen relationships don't last u have no clue if they are healthy relationship or just based on kissing and sex just work up your ability to talk with others and try again with someone else

[HelpfulWoman]

literally nobody BUT YOU cares about this. don't be the dumbass who thinks it matters when you've ONLY started what's really "true dating" in the grand scheme of things.

[melaniegonza]

but everyone is dating except me

[HelpfulWoman]

XD literally no you dramatic fool

[melaniegonza]

i have 20 kids in my class and 17 of them are currently in a relationship

[HelpfulWoman]

and who gives a fuck? only you, continuing to dumbass.

[AmyHew1tt]

I'm 19 and I've never even held a guy's hand romantically, lol. It's okay, we all find our way in our own time.

[melaniegonza]

i made out for the first time last year drunk and in public with a guy i’d been talking to for a week at night at a party in my town and it ended up escalating a bit and i feel kind of sad that i’ve had my first kisses and touching and stuff but i’ve never had an actual boyfriend

[AmyHew1tt]

I get it. I've never even kissed anyone before. I have food allergies so making out with people is a hospital risk for me. I know you'll find someone✨

[Berethor]

You never had a boyfriend but you was kissing, which is basically like having a boyfriend.

[melaniegonza]

nowhere close. you don’t go on real dates, emotionally understand eachother, genuinely care for one another, respect eachother, share eachothers lives, etc….

[jahaims]

I didn't date until I was 19/20. Married my first partner at 23. I am 32 now with 2 kids and still married. A romantic relationship at your age is pointless.

[melaniegonza]

do you regret not dating in HS

[jahaims]

The opposite. Romantic relationships before you are an adult just add baggage to your adult Romantic relationship.

[melaniegonza]

mmm true. i do remember the guy that duped me telling me about all his exes (he’s 16 with over 10 exes) i heard about things that he went through with them and i couldn’t believe a 16 year old could experience such trauma from romantic relationships, and me here never even being in one and totally oblivious

[jahaims]

I think it is often easy to feel like you are missing out on something when it is glorified. Even if logically, it is a negative. As someone who has a bit more life experience than you, I will say, (anecdotally speaking) it seems common for people to regret past relationships due to the lifelong baggage they have to carry because of it. Some people will not put up with unnecessary baggage, so those people with extra baggage miss out on the higher quality part of the dating pool.

[riverrat3]

You may be a late bloomer, several girls i went to school with got better looking later while the ones that were nice looking in school their time had passed. Just be friendly and smile, have fun, your time will come

[IHateBeingaMan]

there are people a decade older than you or more and have never been with anyone

[KrakenAttackin]

Not at all. Don't worry about not having a boyfriend and don't put this pressure on yourself.

[lightbulb27]

no you are not, everyone goes at own pace.

[exitseven]

It's not too late for you.

[Wise4myage]

Behind? Absolutely not. Go at your own pace.

[Slim57]

Nope