Why can’t I get a boyfriend?

[melaniegonza]

i’m 16 and everyone my age has multiple exes and most are currently in a relationship and here i am 16 and i’ve never been loved before.

I've tried EVERYTHING. talking to guys at social events (festivals, clubs, party’s, group hangouts) , at school, online, in person, etc… anyway you could possibly find a potential partner at 16 i’ve tried thousands of times AND IT NEVER WORKS. all i want to know is what i’m doing wrong and what i can change.

i try my hardest to be nice and interesting, since i’m extremely shy i push myself as much as i can to be like these other girls, i even tried just being my usual shy self and that set me back even more. i try not to be weird or awkward, i put so much effort into my physical appearance, i try to be talkative, relaxed, exciting, funny, caring, kind, nurturing, easy to like and i still keep getting turned down or straight up used for physical intimacy.

i’m so depressed i’m honestly thinking of becoming lesbian or something because i don’t know what to do anymore.

WHAT CAN I DO?

at every family gathering my family thinks it’s pathetic i’m still single and my elder sisters who get so much attention for being popular and attractive think i’m a loser for it. also the fact i’m still a virgin and very introverted.

should i try to change my whole personality? honestly considering this even though it sounds wrong. guys just absolutely think i’m nothing and i don’t want to live like that (i used to also get bullied by boys for being ugly and weird before highschool and that kinda traumatised me a bit)

Updates

1 mo

to describe what i’m feeling is like trying to resolve the hardest math equation in the world and others are resolving it easily while you can’t even find the formula for it.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw sweetheart, don't be so hard on yourself! You're only 16, there's no need to feel pathetic or like a loser just because you haven't had a boyfriend yet. So many people don't find love until way later.

It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to change who you are deep down just to try and fit some mold of what you think guys want. But being anything other than your genuine self isn't going to lead to real, meaningful connections.

My advice would be to try embracing who you are - your shy, introverted nature too - and finding people who appreciate you for all of you. Don't waste time on guys just wanting physical stuff either.

Also don't let your family make you feel bad about this! Everyone moves at their own pace. Maybe try some groups at school centered around your interests, where you can bond with others over things you care about.

You'll find someone someday who thinks you're amazing just as you are. But focus now on being happy with yourself too. Love will come, try not to stress so much, sis! You've got this.

[Berethor]

Guys like virgins, and you are Xper level 2 now so you can send messages to guys you like.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[Artie124]

girly! I feel you! i also had trouble with finding boyfriends when I was younger. my advice is don't try too hard to be someone your not. you will one day find a guy who will be amazing!

I was having a tough time with the same sorta thing and I prayed/talked to God about it and I was patient and stopped trying so hard and eventually he sent me the best man I could ask for! you just have to trust Gods plan and his timing. God loves you for who you are, so don't try to change your self for some guy

[Sugar100]

I’m 26 and never had a boyfriend. No guys wants be my girlfriend they only want sex

[JacobJordan]

First... you're 16 be glad you aren't like the other idiots with multiple exes. Second what you are doing wrong is trying too hard. Just be yourself the right person will come along.

[MrZameer]

I don't know why it's matter to have a relationship at 16
I don't think it's bad to be single at single

[melaniegonza]

i guess to start gaining knowledge and experience before real relationships at 20+ , so you have some sort of idea what your getting into when your older, like a driving test, before the actual thing you have to practice on unpaved tracks

[Maverick009]

You are only 16 kiddo! Don't concern trivialities like that. You will have more serious problems at the next door of your life. Just find out new occupations.

[turnpost]

Your 16, this is like toddler years in the modern era.

[lildkman90]

I’m in the same boat after I shrank my penis I’m so small no woman can telll that my 2 inch boner is even there

[cootjuhh]

girl you are 16. take your time. enjoy life. and dont try to hard.

[HelpfulWoman]

you're 16. fucking chill.

[melaniegonza]

bro even my mom thinks i’m weird for it, and ALL my friends make fun of me as a joke

[HelpfulWoman]

your mum and friends are fucking weirdos then.
you've only just started looking for one. most ones at under 20 years FAIL, and aren't worth it.
-You will find someone who will love and date you for you when it happens. Don't feel you need to change yourself just so you can say "i'm in a relationship" and then end up miserable. You're 16. You have a WHOLE life ahead of you to date. Stop deciding that the label of in or not in a relationship defines you, and make that point to your friends and mother when they next talk about it.

[jahaims]

Don't worry about it. You are a child.

[Anna39]

Pm. I will help u