Search Results: he is not allowed to date

I met my partner on a dating app back in Nov 2023. We dated long distance (7 hours) until I moved closer to his city in March. We lived together from March to June, and he proposed to me in May. We didn't have many issues. I didn't tell my family about him because I'm South Asian and he's Hispanic, so that would've caused issues (forcing me to go back home).

My school dismissed me in May, so my sister came to move me back unannounced. She told my family he had a human trafficking house because it was in a smaller town with 2 dogs and owned 3 guns. She thought he was dangerous because he showed aggressive behavior, like throwing my suitcase across the room when she was grabbing my belongings to go. But, he and I didn't want to leave, we told her that, she didn't listen, he got mad, and threw the suitcase.

My sister begged me to come home since that was her only job, and my mom wasn't doing good. We all left the next day so he could meet my family, which didn't go well because they thought he was only hyperfocused on taking me back to his house rather than respecting their wish to have a family gathering before I moved back in. I decided to stay home because I saw how my mom needed me, which made my partner mad, and he threatened to end the relationship in front of them, making my family more uncomfortable.

My mom was planning the party yesterday but isn't doing it anymore because my sister started crying again about how crazy he and his home are. He doesn't want to do the party; he's telling me to come to him and forget about them since they're only worried about their happiness and not ours.

I truly don't know what to do. I thought my stay at home would've allowed me not to choose between him and my family, and after their party, everyone could move on with life. Now, my mom is figuring out if police can arrest him since she overheard our conversation about me possibly leaving before the party. I don't want to add more stress/problems to our lives. help.

I am currently facing a situation where I don't know what to do. My family has been toxic throughout my life and has not allowed me any privacy growing up, which already takes its toll. I had to sneak around and date once I reached college because of how crazy my family was about it, to the point my serious 4-year relationship ended over it. Now, I have gotten serious with a guy (engaged), and my family disapproves of him because of his financial status (he doesn't make enough) and thinks he's abusive/disrespectful towards them and me. For example, my mom claims he's disrespectful because he hung up the phone on her while she was speaking. But she purposely interrupted my phone call with him, knowing that got him mad since we were trying to spend time together.

I lived with him (7 hours away from family) for a couple of months before my family got involved. My sister came saying that my mom wasn't doing well health-wise, and I had to leave to visit/take care of her. My partner didn't want me to go, but I didn't want to leave my family hanging, so I left. I came to find out that they planned to keep me here from June (when my sister came) to September/October for a "ceremony" where they could do their rites of passage before marriage. Still, I'm not confident they will actually do that with the way they all have been behaving about it as it's getting closer to time.

However, my partner has his quirks and isn't perfect. He does have trust issues because his last girlfriend cheated on him, so he fought over looking through my phone a couple of times in the past, but that's gotten resolved like other issues we had before. He marches to the beat of his drum, so he'll tell people if he doesn't think something is right according to his morals.

I don't want to compromise my relationship with my family, but I'm afraid that'll happen regardless. I understand my family's concerns about him, but he's not the bad person they portray him as. Help.

I got this well-paying job at another city. and this is what happened:

• I was assured that I will be given an apartment that meets my needs (filled a form, etc.), was told along with others that everything will be okay.
• Suddenly we were asked to join earlier than the contract date to attend an orientation program.
• Radio silence for more than a week leading to the presumed date. I tried to reach them but mostly got no clear answer.
• They now say we can stay for some time at a facility, but we cannot bring our pets. I had already explained to them, three months earlier, that I have a pet I am responsible for. They had assured me then.
• BUT NOW THEY ARE BEING INSENIBLE to my request, asking me simply 'to join' and leave the pet somewhere until I am given an apartment. Nobody knows when this will happen, and I do not trust them to be honest. Also, the contract does not start now: they want me to join way earlier than my contract date, and they mentioned nothing about paying us or for our food.
• I just stood my ground and informed them that I cannot join until I am given suitable housing as I was promised.
• My family would call me crazy for not going as they don't really like pets and they won't understand how I am attached to mine. It is my whole world.
• Is it reasonable on their part not to fulfil their promise, and call us way earlier with no salary or food paid, ignore our requests by not allowing pets and simply ask us to come?
• Now I realize they might end my contract even before it actually starts. But I believe this is unprofessional and unfair. What would you do in this case?
• Thanks!

New scenario and a followup to the parent question (in which I said I would disown both the friend and parent)… I never understood why some guys/girls wouldn’t be cool with their friend dating their sibling. Like why are they good enough to be a friend but not good enough to be an in-law?

I fell for a lot of few of my best friend’s brothers and although the friend was supportive because they knew I had good intentions, their parents felt otherwise. With one friend, her mom constantly referred to me as her “daughter” but the moment I took interest in her son (which she didn’t find out until like years later when my mom ratted out our interest in eachother) then the mom said I was no longer allowed to come over to her house. I didn’t understand why i was good enough to be her “daughter” but not her “daughter in law”. It was even more weird because her youngest son liked my little sister and she seemed supportive of that. I liked her middle son and he seemed to like me but was shy about it while her oldest son made it clear that he liked me. And she had an issue with either of them liking me.

So for those who would not want their friends dating their siblings, why not if you trust them enough to befriend them? (And just for this scenario, pretend that your friend and sibling are in the same age range to make things less awkward. And if you don’t have a sibling just pretend you do) #FeelFreeToList