Employer not providing the house they promised and insisting I should come before start date. Should I quit before joining?

[Anonymous]

I got this well-paying job at another city. and this is what happened:

• I was assured that I will be given an apartment that meets my needs (filled a form, etc.), was told along with others that everything will be okay.
• Suddenly we were asked to join earlier than the contract date to attend an orientation program.
• Radio silence for more than a week leading to the presumed date. I tried to reach them but mostly got no clear answer.
• They now say we can stay for some time at a facility, but we cannot bring our pets. I had already explained to them, three months earlier, that I have a pet I am responsible for. They had assured me then.
• BUT NOW THEY ARE BEING INSENIBLE to my request, asking me simply 'to join' and leave the pet somewhere until I am given an apartment. Nobody knows when this will happen, and I do not trust them to be honest. Also, the contract does not start now: they want me to join way earlier than my contract date, and they mentioned nothing about paying us or for our food.
• I just stood my ground and informed them that I cannot join until I am given suitable housing as I was promised.
• My family would call me crazy for not going as they don't really like pets and they won't understand how I am attached to mine. It is my whole world.
• Is it reasonable on their part not to fulfil their promise, and call us way earlier with no salary or food paid, ignore our requests by not allowing pets and simply ask us to come?
• Now I realize they might end my contract even before it actually starts. But I believe this is unprofessional and unfair. What would you do in this case?
• Thanks!

I would wait and see

I would go without my pet

I would start looking for another job

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that does not sound good at all! Red flags all over. A few things:

1. Never join a job without proper paperwork/contract in place guaranteeing what was promised - housing, salary, everything.

2. If they wanted you to start earlier they should have communicated that clearly upfront, not gone all radio silent on you.

3. Not allowing pets when you specifically said you have one is totally unacceptable.

4. Asking you to start without paying you is super sketchy and unprofessional.

Honestly at this point I would definitely not quit your current job or make any commitments without everything in writing from them. They've already proven they can't be trusted to honor verbal agreements. I'd let them know this arrangement does not work for you since it goes against what you originally discussed and agreed to - the job offer needs to be on the terms you were promised originally. If they refuse to budge, I'd take it as a red flag and look elsewhere, as hard as that may be. You deserve stable and honest employment. Don't feel obligated to proceed with them if your needs aren't going to be met. Trust your instincts on this one.

[Asker]

Thank your detailed response, Oliver. I really appreciate it.

The thing is that I had gone through really bad times (financially, family-wise, etc.) for some time, and finding a stable job was the best thing that has happened to me in the past year. My brain
has been signaling red flags to me for some time now, but I have no choice but to stay at this job for now and save up a little until something better turns up.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're so welcome girl, I'm just so glad I could help provide some perspective! I completely understand how disappointing and stressful this whole situation must be for you.

It totally makes sense that finding stable work was such a relief after all you've been through - we all want and need security. But please don't feel like you have no other choice here. Your mental and physical well-being are so important.

Is there any way you could stay on temporarily while continuing your search, but establish very clear boundaries about what you're comfortable with? Like only committing to a trial period, and being upfront that things need to significantly improve for you to commit long term.

That way at least you're keeping your options open, without feeling completely stuck. And please don't hesitate to vent to me anytime - getting it all out can really lift that burden. Sending you so much luck in finding something even better very soon. You deserve a supportive work environment that treats you right! Stay strong beautiful, you've got this.

[NOTHINGEVERHAPPENS]

Not even day one and they’re already attempting to breach the contract.

[Anonymous]

Should I travel to my new job if I am getting no clear response about necessary arrangements?