Search Results: mess up a relationship

Hey Dear sisters, I could really use some advice. So, I’m in a loving relationship with this girl, and we’ve been together for 2-3 months now after being friends for over a year. She’s been emotionally supportive, and I’ve really grown to care about her. We flirt, tease, and imagine scenarios, but here’s where I feel stuck…

I’m not super experienced in relationships, and I’m not sure how to take things to the next stage—like, we’re still at the hand-holding and cuddling stage, and I’m not sure how to transition from that to something deeper. I want it to feel natural and not forced, but I just don’t know what’s the right way to go about it.

Another thing is, I’ve been feeling a bit insecure. She’s still in touch with her exes and occasionally drinks and smokes with them. I don’t drink or smoke, so I don’t go to those hangouts, and I trust her, but I can’t help but feel insecure about how she sees me compared to them. I know she says she loves me a lot, but I wonder if my lack of experience or not being part of that lifestyle makes me seem less exciting to her.

Do you have any advice on how to handle these insecurities and move our relationship forward, both emotionally and physically? I really care about her, and I don’t want my feelings of insecurity to mess things up. Would love your perspective on this. 🙏

I was talking to a girl a few years ago. She was really interested in me and wanted a relationship. I kind of pushed her away because of things I was dealing with. It definitely seemed like a rejection from her viewpoint. I always felt awful about rejecting her, so I apologized and told her what I was thinking. I said it was my fault and she didn't do anything wrong, and that she is great. I told her it was my anxiety and depression and I didn't handle it well and I didn't want to reject her. I owned up to everything, took full blame and shared what I never was comfortable sharing with anyone. Her response was to ignore my apology and then post a picture of her all Dolled up trying to look as good as possible. Her hair done, makeup, trying to look like an Instagram model. She doesn't always post pictures like this, so the timing felt intentional. My impression of it was like a, hey, I'm great this is what you're missing type of thing.

Noone owes anyone forgiveness, but I am put off by this response. I went from feeling sad I hurt her feelings to feeling grossed out by her character. I told her she was great, and it was my anxiety and depression, and she responded like I had rejected her. I don't know, no response at all would have been one thing. But to kind of rub it in someone's face with a "Screw you im the bomb" post after someone talks about dealing with depression. That seems kind of messed up to me.

Where do you stand? Noone owes forgiveness or her response was a red flag?