Sleeping with a married man that has chucked me away like I’m nothing?

[Anonymous]

I’ve known the man since high school, we was always close but nothing ever happened. We both got into serious relationships at the same time, married and had children and lost touch. 8 years ago he got back in contact with me and I was so happy to hear from him, we were like best friends growing up. Around 2020 we started speaking of a sexual chemistry between us and found little excuses to see each other. He helped fix my car, I helped him move in etc etc 2021 we began sending photos and videos. We have slept together 5 times, neither time was planned, and he has always refused to see me alone. The times something has happened has caught us off guard, friends went in early etc and it ended up being just us. Anyway, this past year I’ve felt really attached, I told him I loved him, he didn’t say it back but didn’t say he didn’t love me. I pressured him to come and see me alone but he said it was wrong, and that I’m not his wife and we can’t have an affair. This hurt so I rang him shouting, I know I had no place but why wasn’t I good enough to make time for. He said I was an emotional wreck and put the phone down. We haven’t spoke since and it’s been 4 months. I know I fell for someone who wasn’t available, and I know I deserve the hurt but he was my best friend. We spoke daily for 8 years, he told me he never wanted to lose me. I know I forced him away, becus I became needy and demanding, I’m not even sure what I’m asking. But I’m hurt; life is a mess and how he hates me.

[Drewtate]

If you are married that means you cheated with so if he got into a relationship with you he knows you would cheat on him.

He can't respect you because you don't respect yourself.

If he has a wife and kids he likely loves his wife and has a lot invested in his family and doesn't want to lose that for sex with a woman who has emotional problems l, isn't loyal and has no self respect. Then there is losing the love and respect of his kids which is something you aren't thinking about.

Divorce will cost him big in alimony and child support plus only seeing his kids every other weekend.

Mrs go back to your husband and work on your marraige. Put your children first rather than yourself.

[Asker]

Well that wasn’t hard; why couldn’t he just be honest and say it like that. I take all that on board, although I hope he doesn’t think I’m disloyal. I have only ever been with my husbands and him, the affair or friendship or what ever it was called, only happened becus I fell in love with him. For him, yes it was probably just something new and exciting. I’m just kinda annoyed that he encouraged me to feel this way, when he clearly felt nothing. Now he gets to enjoy his life and I’m probably not even a second thought when he’s emotionally distryed my life. But lesson learnt I suppose. I won’t make contact again and he can carry on with his perfect little life.

[Drewtate]

Good. No man wants a woman that cheats with him. You need to cherish your husband more and be a hood wife instead running after some other man dishonouring him and your kids

[normalice]

So, did you sleep with him or not because your description seems to imply that you did not but your question states that you did.

In any case, it seems more like he is distancing himself from you because you are dangerous. Not because you are "nothing."

[Asker]

We have slept together 5 times but no time was planned as in meet me here for sex etc, it’s been a shock, moment thing every time.

[Asker]

Why am I dangerous? That’s probably something he would say. I will add I was pregnant with his baby 6 months ago, if I wanted to force some connection between us or fuck up his life I had the power to do so. After I aborted the baby he said his respect and trust in me has increased. I know his wife was very suspect, and he was pretty much on his final warning. I know I became a headache with my wants and emotions but if he cared like he said he did all these years how could he just let me go especially after such a big argument.

[normalice]

Just because you don't want him to get caught now doesn't mean you will never change your mind about that. Plus, it's still absolutely a possibility that he could get caught by no fault of yours.

Moreover, he probably feels guilty, and should. Self indulgence feels good until the point where one is overcome with the sensation of having taken too much. Then there is nothing left but crippling guilt.

[Asker]

Ok. I really feel like he has been fake nice all these years to get what he wanted from me, either that or he genuinely cared about me at one point but changed that with a click of the fingers and now he’s so cold towards me. I used to wonder if he loved me in some way, but now I don’t. If he wanted me to feel like I was a useless piece of trash, that got used and dumped then he’s succeeded. He was just the best for so many years, and then suddenly just changed. It hurts, and it’s hurts more knowing he knows it hurts me but still doesn’t try to make a men’s.

[Asker]

Whilst I’m still on the page, I’ll just fire all this at your becus I have no one else 🤣 I was annoyed and the whole argument started becus I asked to see him, and he refused and told me it was wrong. I was like sorry how is being friends wrong. He said we can’t have an affair and I’m thinking excuse me I haven’t asked u to come and fuck me wtf, I only wanted to see him, talk to him. I didn’t and don’t care about sex. Annoys me that I get told it’s wrong to meet at friends but it’s not wrong for him to put his dick in my mouth. Honestly, the argument was the worst we’ve had. So yeh, that’s the end of an 8 year friendship, where we both now hate eaother.

[normalice]

Yeah, he feels guilty and vulnerable. And I suppose he should.

[Anonymous]

you can only sleep with married men if you know in the beginning they're going to throw you away at some point. the best thing to do is leave before they do it. if you get attached you will always get hurt

[Anonymous]

Are you trolling? I just don’t understand why you keep posting back to back about sleeping with a married man?

[Asker]

I haven’t posted before?

[Opinion Owner]

So you’re saying just as of yesterday, someone in your age range was posting about being a side chick for several years? How many women do you think are coming across this site with this problem?

[Asker]

Side chick wow not a term I would use, wasn’t me but I’d be interested to read the post. Affairs are more common than you think

[Opinion Owner]

They didn’t use the term side chick, I did. Anyway I’m not gonna play the back and forth game, these posting are happening the past few days with this exact same problem. You’re anonymous because you don’t want people to notice you posting this repeatedly. Yes affairs are common but oddly specific to be a 30-35 woman dealing with a married man for years. Anyway if that’s your prerogative, let me just say you can keep asking if you want but I’m not sure exactly what you’re looking for from us. He’s not leaving his wife and as I said before, it is quite selfish to hang onto this situation when you know another woman was being hurt in the process. You should go ahead and move on to another man.

[Asker]

I didn’t have the angry to read all your comment. I’m annon becus I’m married and posting about my affair, I haven’t posted before. I couldn’t care less whether you think I have or haven’t.

[Asker]

Energy *

[Opinion Owner]

Just keep in mind that when you keep posting like this, it is spam.

[gorydetails]

You fucked around and found out.

[Asker]

It hurts

[gorydetails]

maybe you'll learn a lesson.

[Luckycharms12]

What did you expect you are just a bit of fun

[Asker]

I know it’s a cliche but he always said it was more than that. The sex was so passionate, then suddenly he just changed and his energy shifted and he stopped trying, making effort and caring.

[Luckycharms12]

It was lust talking. Guys and girls will say anything in moments of passion. Actions speak louder than words. I'm not going to say anything about being with a married person done it too. Just using your for bit of fun

[Anonymous]

Duh.