Search Results: what do the kisses mean

So, I'm quite sensitive when it comes to touch & my boyfriend of more than 2 years is more on the other end of the spectrum. When he's sober, we arrange this well & are both happy, except for the occasional reminder for him to not break my neck when bear hugging me.

I want to clarify, he is a very kind soul, just clumsy, so it's always good intentions from him! But sometimes he accidently hurts me, which annoys me if it's too frequent & that's case when he's drunk. The more drunk/drugged, the worse it gets, as you simply loose control over your body. He tries super hard to give me my space & be veeery careful touching me then, but it's just not working. I'm kind of conditioned at this point that when he comes close to me drunk, he'll likely step on my foot/squeeze me too hard/poke his nose in my eye/get his fingers stuck in my hair, so I tense up as soon as he comes near me in that state. The worst part is that he's especially vulnerable & affectionate when drunk, but I just have to defend my space & tell him off & he can tell I'm not fond of him, which hurts him a lot.

I tried to avoid his drunk/drugged persona (he knows all of this, we communicate about it), but I also don't wanna miss all fun evenings with our friends. Moreover, it's a part of him (which he does not want to give up in this part of his life) and so I sometimes want to be with him in that state too. But it often ends in him being hurt & in a bad mood the next day, trying to recover from the rejections of the previous night and then he's the one needing his space, so I can't hug or kiss him to show him affection then, or to say sorry.

I know the most obvious solution is for me to avoid him in that state. But I wonder if anyone else made such experiences & whether you think this makes us a bad match/myself kind of a bad girlfriend, at least for him, that I can't deal with this? It hurts me a lot to hurt him and I hate myself in those moments for being so mean, I just don't know another way.