Search Results: accusing people

I ask this question because I noticed often times when someone’s trying to solve a conflict where a Partner is let with them, they are more so trying to extricate themselves from an uncomfortable situation of somebody being angry with them.

🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s similar to “just give me the answer” on a maths problem, rather than understanding how you arrived at the answer. Which is always going to be tempting for people at one point or another. But this doesn’t solve the problem long-term because if you don’t know what’s going on and you don’t know what causes you don’t know how to keep it from happening again, if that’s not possible sometimes conflicts come up repeatedly.

🫤 I tend NOT to see much trying to _understand_ what is happening with the other person.. what is really making them upset.

I’m sure you have seen solutions for getting out do the 🐶 🏡 that have nothing to do with learning anything, rather ways to hopefully placate the other party.. gifts treats surprises favors etc. Thats stuff is absolutely bonkers to me. Here you have a solid learning opportunity that can help everyone long term and you try to buy it off. 🤯

Or the lazy generic “how do you get a woman to forgive you” “ how do you get a man to not be angry” nothing about what that actual person is experiencing and what brought out the maybe overly dramatic reaction in that moment.

I think many people would even be _annoyed_ if they were upset and someone started asking “what are you going through? What’s happening with you, what even caused this?”

🧐 I find it very _interesting_ when someone’s really upset. I tend to not get defensive because I’m more interested in understanding what’s going on over having a fight… I mean, unless of course I’m being accused of something absolutely ridiculous that has nothing to do with me- that is annoying af 🤨 but otherwise I’m more into taking an observing position.. I have observed this can be irritating to people who are very angry, however not my intent. 👀

This happened a week ago but I was out. Usually I hear both stories, but this time, I'm so compelled to just go with the one story I've heard because she is one of the sweetest people I've met. I remember once saying, "I wish everyone was as nice as you." Her father has always been so good to everyone too. According to my colleague and from what I can tell, 99% of people side with her as well. Basically her father works there, and he was fired due to a verbal argument between him and a salesman. Her father is through a third party agency so the third party wants to keep a good relationship with the company and not even have an investigation. The agency figures they can send him somewhere else is due time. The salesman is a top salesman, so he makes the company a lot of money. Her father cleans there. Her father just went to give him a fist bump, but salesman said he didn't want to get dirty. The cleaner told him to humble himself in front of people, so I guess he was embarrassed, and he went to HR. The cleaner was accused of threatening to murder the salesman which his daughter says did not happen, and I really believe she's telling the truth