Search Results: scared of getting in a relationship

I told a guy friend that I've known for over 20 years that I liked him and how he makes me feel. He scares me, I trust him, he makes me nervous but yet calm and relaxed. He replied as it wasn't a bad thing but he didn't say anything more. We both are not ready for a relationship. We both need to work on ourselves after we both went through a hard breakup. We both have many things in common, likes, dislikes, trust, our children, priorities and so much more. We get each other. I felt a connection when we first kissed. I have never felt anything like this before with anyone I have ever been with. I told him so. We talked for 3 hours after this about anything and everything. In this conversation he warned me about getting rid of toxic people in my life. People who want to use me and only want me when they want something but when I need something. They aren't there. He said that he got rid of those people and his life is peaceful. He said I could still be friends but keep them at a distance and don't tell them everything. I asked if he was talking about a mutual person we both know. He neither denied or agreed. Yes we hooked up before this for almost 2 years and after this conversation.

My boyfriend spoke to me this morning about a future of being married and kids. I love my relationship with my family and would want to have that someday with my kids. But I have never ever romanticized being pregnant. I horrible cramps. Sometimes they make me google on how to remove my ovaries. They are so painful sometimes, I’m throwing up I can’t sleep well excessive cravings that make me moody😔 and I’m often irritated. This is me once a week every month. And just the cramps pain makes me not want to even venture into being pregnant. I have a low pain tolerance😔 I was with my aunt when she was pregnant and that wasn’t looking like what I’d want to go through. The heartburn swollen feet the anxiety of if your baby is okay. Then the entire pain that comes with delivery and also the thought of postpartum depression or getting blind or loosing my teeth. it’s so scary to me. I was telling him if when we were ready and we had enough money for surrogacy i would rather do that. Or we could adopt. Maybe down the line knowing I have a supportive partner would help calm my fears. Till then I’m still so scared.🥺 he was so understanding and calm when I spoke about my fears. He does want his own kids but he was telling me that he doesn’t want us to argue especially when it’s my body 🥺 and we could always find a way around it when we were ready.