Search Results: wrong to hook up

I know some of you are going to go off about never using dating apps or trying to find people online period. That’s a separate debate so please don’t bring it up. Not everybody has the time or environment to socialize with singles on a consistent basis.

Anyway I’ve gone real back and forth about ever mentioning sex or even acting flirty with girls I match on dating apps. On one end if she already finds me attractive, is in a good mood and hit her vibe right it can make her more eager to meet up.

However the downside if I just make one wrong comment many women panic and hit the “creep” button. It’s game over and there is little or no room for forgiveness. Often the guy has no idea he’s out. It doesn’t matter if it was an honest mistake or I had no idea she didn’t like a certain comment. Many women just freak.

An even worse scenario is she might just want all virtual sexting and has zero interest in meeting for real. The virtual attention is good enough for her. Most men aren’t satisfied with that. They want to meet someone for real.

Then there is the safe route (and it can be genuine). Just act friendly, funny and don’t mention sex. Many women find this to be non-threatening and are more likely to meet in person.

But a downside with this is she might find me more boring. Some women are deluded/selfish to believe that guys are okay just making “friends” with women on dating apps. Nope. That’s a huge waste of time and effort. That doesn’t mean men are always looking for hook ups. Some of us really want to start a relationship. But there is always at least some romantic interest. Men don’t seek out random women to become “friends” with.

So anyway what’s the best route?

Tbh most would just leave I’m asking out of curiosity for myself because my girlfriend of 2 years (21) is leaving for a job opportunity in a different province. I’ve been through lots of shit with her, still love her after the wrong she’s done (saying it like that makes me feel sick but I do love her). I’ve half ass caught her on multiple occasions up until she caught an STI and I tested negative after almost a year of having unprotected sec together (that one broke us up for around 4 months until I saw her at a bar hooked up and got back together). I’ve snooped through her phone found texts between her and this one guy in the past meeting at a hotel while we were dating, I caught her texting another guy on multiple occasions on snap chat once she waited for me to fall asleep to rub herself and I’m assuming sext him in my bed while she thought I was sleeping (though I didn’t read the messages, I knew it was a guy she slept with in the past though and I know she was touching herself for certain), another guy she was really secretive with while we first started dating, one time I caught her dancing on a guy at the same bar I was at with her (unfortunately I lost my cool and blacked out on the guy who I later found out was the guy who met her at the hotel), one time when we were fighting she said she was going to a party with the same guy too. As I write this it breaks my heart because I’ve truly loved her for so long, I wanted to marry her and she has treated me as nothing less than worthless and I would never have done that too her under any circumstances. anytime no matter when in the relationship she was never willing to talk to me about it, she painted me out as jealous, she’d say I’m crazy, she’d say that’s why “we broke up for so long too heal” and the list goes on and on but tbh I’ve never gotten a real genuine answer or proof otherwise she’s cheated on me and I want to give her one but is it unfair to give her one last chance if she comes clean?