Relationships

Guys, am I crazy that I thought that we may end to something real? Does the whole story mean that I am not a relationship material?

3 months ago I broke up with my ex boyfriend. I loved him but the last 8 months we had no sex life. Even if I do not hook up with random guys, right after the break up the only thing I wanted was to jump into a non commitment relationship. So, when I found attractive a guy who approached me I told him that I am not ready for a relationship but I want to be something like friends with benefits. We started sexting and then I went to his place. We were having casual sex for approximately 2 months. I was spending days staying at his place, he was making me lunch, taking care of me and we had a lot of conversations about our families, our childhood, our jobs etc. After a while when I was out with friends he started video calling me and he was critising how my male colleagues are talking to me in the meetings (I work remotely so I had worked also from his place). I wasn't ready yet but I started thinking that maybe we can be something more than that, since we were having such a great time and I was feeling like he has started being jealous to other men. Yesterday, I sent him a photo of a dress that I bought and he told me that he started seeing someone else. I was shocked but I told him that it is OK and I will come to pick up my stuff. When I was at his place I was nervous and he realized it. He told me that he found the love of his life and that is not my fault and that he appreciates me and he do not want to lose me as a person. He asked me to have sex for the last time and I refused. He tried to cuddle and kiss me and I told him that I feel shitty and like a slut and that this has nothing to do with him as we were clear from the beginning of what we want. He asked me if I feel sad and I told him that I am just angry with myself. I know that the approach of the whole thing was wrong by my side from the beginning and I may screwed things up because of that. So, do you think that there was a potential or is this how friends with benefits are and it was all in my mind?

Guys, am I crazy that I thought that we may end to something real? Does the whole story mean that I am not a relationship material?
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