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The things women never have to say on an online dating profile. Take some advice from a friendly semi-pro.

DaveJord
The things women never have to say on an online dating profile. Take some advice from a friendly semi-pro.

My children are my world!

If you have come to an online dating site to boast about you're children you've come to the wrong place. As a man, when you say you're a single mother I get it. You don't need to say your children are your life. No man is thinking he's going to compete with your kids. What he does want to know is if you are seriously at a place in your life to make time to date, and carve out a space for him and you to figure out if a relationship can work.

The things women never have to say on an online dating profile. Take some advice from a friendly semi-pro.

I am only interested in long term committed relationships.

Again ladies as a man we get it. Of course there are guys out there only looking for quick hooks ups and one night stands, but you can filter those out for yourself. This is online dating profile, most men just want to get to the first date. We aren't against LTR and commitment, but we just selected a profile we liked. Every relationship starts with hello and builds on its own organically. You can't force it. And yes, by and large by the time you get to the 3rd to 5th date without sex, how can you expect a commitment? Yes we want to date and we want time to figure it out and we are willing to wait. But you want commitment without risk of investment, no man gets it that way with any women. Why do you expect him to jump into commitment with a women before they even dated for a month or more?

The things women never have to say on an online dating profile. Take some advice from a friendly semi-pro.

Between work and kids I stay super busy, so don't waste my time and I won't waste yours?

Why would you ever say this on a dating profile? Do you honestly expect good men to jump on that statement, because you're seriously all that and offering more? I can't tell you how many times I have seen this statement. You're literally saying I don't have time to date, I just want a man to fall out of sky and slip seamlessly into my life when its convenient for me. Seriously, if you want a committed relationship you have to make yourself available to the man at least 1 to 2 days a week without the kids. If you don't have time or opportunity to do that in your life, then you're not ready to seriously be dating.

I am just looking to make new friends and meet new people?

Unless this is code for I am into casual dating, don't ever say this in an online dating profile. I as a man, didn't come online to meet new people and make friendships. I looking for a relationship that offers more then being friends. If you're into and looking for casual dating, then just say that. If your not then don't talk about wanting to make friendships and meeting new people. I as a man am thinking she's not into commitment or dating that she's into hooking up. More times then not it means she's confused and not emotionally ready to be dating.

Last thing, do not call your pets your babies in online dating profile. Even if its true get into that later. No man wants to compete with an animal for the affection of a women. It implies you have isdue forming meaningful bongs with the men you date...and yes your attachment to your pets can get in the way. Just say you're an animal lover and leave until later to discuss.

The things women never have to say on an online dating profile. Take some advice from a friendly semi-pro.
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  • OlderAndWiser

    Excellent advice! Most people never consider how their profile sounds to a member of the opposite sex. The best way to learn is to ask a trusted sister or female cousin or friend to read your profile and give you some candid feedback.

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  • Anonymous

    This is fantastic advice.

    Like 4 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • ManOnFire

    I especially can't stand the ones who make their children their world and you are definitely right on those points. If you're not willing to make room for a guy then you don't need to be dating.

    I do kind of agree with women on saying they're looking for a LTR though. Because a lot of guys on those sites are faking it to get in her pants pretty fast, so I can understand a woman needing to make that clear.

    The ones who say they're looking to meet new people/friends are often times using that as a cover for the fact that they are looking for casual sex but don't want to actually say that or post it on their profile, so they think faking at is being friendship-curious will be more inviting.

    Reply
    • DaveJord

      Totally agree on your opinion... I would say 90% of the guys on dating sites are faking LTR and looking to get laid. As a women I would assume that's a given so no need to be blunt like that, because your just scaring off the diamond in the rough. You're the type that would look past the opportunity when it right there for taking, be your so fixated on it. Most women can filter those type of guys out later through chat. Because obviously no man is going to jump into a committed relationship with a women off of a online profile... or before a first date. No descent or self respecting man anyway. And those are the types that are already wanting and looking for LTR, so assumes that's what ever women he responses to wants.

      And yes the ones that say they are only interest in meeting knew people, has to mean they are open to hook-ups and if doesn't mean that then don't say it. Even it does mean that, no need in saying it because if she has good pics she will get enough prospects that she can hook up with the pick of the litter.

      The truth is no matter what a women says on a on line profile if she has descent pictures she will get all the attention, likes and match requests she wants because guys are like 9:1 ratio on sites. But if you are a women that really is looking for that special guy, then you got to write something better then making the points that I addressed. I have seen some write ups from women that I am like, "Damn I really like this women, but she out of my league." I am pretty confident guy, but even me I am like no way possible I could ever hook up, or get into a causal situation with this women... but if I was that guy I would be drawn to her profile like a moth to the flame.

  • jabariw18

    OH MY GOD THANK YOU. Holy...
    This is so frustrating and it's all I see! Especially the cringeworthy dog obsession. And MY CHILDREN ARE MY WORLD. A couple more things I'd also like to add:

    1.) Expecting the man to say or do something funny or entertaining immediately. "Don't be boring" or "Give me a cheesy pickup line" as if you're some court jester for her highness.

    2.) Telling 100% what they want or expect but not telling what they have to offer.

    3.) Complaining about how this app is a waste of time and that men on here are creepy/immature even though we know damn well that their own over selectiveness is probably the issue. If you're only going after 10/10s then you're gonna mostly be finding fuckboys. Give that 6 or 7 a chance if he seems nice. You'll find significantly more success. The 10/10s who are hot and know they are hot are gonna be more likely to chase the booty until they get it (which they will). It's not fair to use them as a basis of the majority of men on the app because it's not true. I guarantee most of the 6s and 7s just genuinely wanna hang out and go on dates.

    Helpful 1 Person
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    • DaveJord

      Excellent pionts! The onrs that day "I want a man that makes them laugh?" Like I am some type of comedian, or circus clown... is that what their looking for? No.

      100% like I am supposed to bring all this stuff to the table, what hell are they offer me? Apparently not sex, because I am supposed to spend all this time investing in them. To earn thier trust, and commitment.

      And are correct, I settled for 6 or 7 and she treats me amazingly and is a 10. Tbe 10/10 are the ones that always think they can do better, but never really do.

    • Levin

      Saying something witty or interesting in relation to a dating profile generally isn't difficult providing she has actually bothered to fill it out and put some personality on it. 95% of women don't. Jeez, we ain't miracle workers, we can't work with nothing!

    • DaveJord

      @Levin So flipping true.

  • MzAsh

    I can understand how these statements would be annoying when you come across them frequently. But I can also understand how off putting it can be for women who frequently deal with men who want sex immediately and want to be the center of her universe. Overall though I think these points are good insight from the male perspective.

    LikeDisagree 4 People
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    • DaveJord

      Thanks, all I 100% agree... I guess that is my point if your on a dating site you should be interested in the male perspective, as a man I definitely give due attention and respect to the female perspective.

      Its not that these statements are annoying, but everyone wants a good man or women, so you should be concerned if you are putting them off from the go.

    • It’s up to them to filter. Do you really want a man without the sense to ask what your looking for?

  • VIVANT

    I don’t see why someone shouldn’t say they are only looking for long term. Or why someone else wouldn’t want to know. There are different aims in dating many different aims. And it’s not just hook ups or dating. Lot of variability. So knowing WHY someone dates is very relevant. You can get on famously but want completely different things.

    Looking for commitment does not mean you expect the other person to commit without getting to know each other - or commit at all-any more than hoping to have sex eventually jeans you expect the other person to put out in day 1.

    It means if they are not Interested in a relationship potentially with _anyone_ it’s a waste of time to get acquainted bc you two have 💯 different aims.

    A LOT of people date just for fun. There is a big difference between casually getting an idea about each other to see if we even want a lt relationship vs dating knowing you will never want a let.

    For instance you probably don’t expect sex on the first day maybe you’d wait weeks or months and you probably understand if we do not hit it off, we won’t have sex at all. But wouldn’t you want to know if I never want to have sex with _anyone_ ?

    People date just to date. Letting people know you are looking (not expecting) commitment saves tine. Just like letting people know you’re not interested in sex, saves time.

    Honestly I don’t see why anyone has a problem with this information seems suspicious wanting to bypass something essential. The other points I get but this is central to potential compatibility. And to want to ignore it makes me think the person wants to get in some dates & some sex before saying I really just wanted something casual.

    Like 1 Person
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    • DaveJord

      I am not saying they should not say the are looking for a long term relationship, but it doesn't have to be upfront or centric in your online profile summary. I get it lots of guys are looking for hookups and one night stands. But you as the women have to filter those out yourself, without projecting expectations on me as a man.

      But saying it in our profile that your only interested in long term relations, lacks any degree of sincerity. As a prospective suiter, I mean I am not going on a first date with a women thinking this a long term relationship. I willing to figure that out with you, but honestly I can't say I am looking for a long term relationship with you until at least the 3rd to 5th date... it takes time and there is whole process to making that determination. So no honest, sincere or genuine man is going to take that statement from a on line profile seriously.

      Then just say you are ready for serious commitment or not interested in hooking ups. Most these ladies that calm they want LTR have no idea what it takes to be in a committed relationship, if they want that then they have to be willing commit to the process more then the idea.

      Yes I would want to know if your idea of LTR means no sex for a very long if ever... but again just say that through the course of the chat not in your profile summary if you want that upfront and forward in your profile then I suspect you will get more creeps then sincere men. LTR and not having sex do not really go together, your seriously not looking for a LTR if you don't want to have sex with anyone. What your looking for is Freinds with NO benefits, some you can pretend date. Most guys do not date to date... you may think that, but if you think your dating a guy to just date, that just means the guy hasn't realized or come to terms with what is really happening and goin on.

  • TheSpaceGnome

    1. I'd prefer any woman mentions she has or wants kids, since I'm not looking to be a dad or date single moms.

    2. I'd also prefer women mention if they want commitment, because too many women on those sites want hookups.
    Women who want sex as early as you say they should, are off putting enough for me to bail, I'd rather wait a few years and get to know them before having sex.

    3. I'd prefer women who are constantly busy, not with kids mind you, but hobbies, the same ones I have. And the whole "don't waste my time" remark makes me think she is only interested in a serious relationship, which is good.

    4. Looking for new friends is fine, its easier to start as friends first.

    5. Nothing wrong with calling pets your babies, and I have no idea why any guy would see them as competition. Attachment to animals has never gotten in the way of relationships for me, and women who never want human kids, but have cats and/or exotic pets they consider their babies, are my type when it comes to that sort of thing.

    Like 1 Person
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    • DaveJord

      Everyone guys is entitled to his likes and wants. I have dated women with pets, and if you ever want to get out and do anything you have to have a dog in tow, or they have to find someone to take care of it. When on a Friday I am like hey lets go on a weekend beach trip and they say they can't because they have no one to watch their dog... that's a drag. Or you got to pay whatever hotel fee they put on pets, and most these women are not offering to cover that cost because you invited them. So you are there in this hotel room with their dog, and everywhere you go you have to bring the dog because they don't or can't leave it in the hotel. Then you have this dog just starring at you when your together... no thank you. And then the swoon over this dog and it gets more attention then you do... seriously?

      The problem for me with starting out as friends is the women that build these friendships over time start to see you as just that a friend. Then the romantic aspects of the relationship slow or stall out, because you as a man are not moving on it, and you both focus more on the "Friendship" and not the over all relationship. I for one have no problem being friends, but I want a romantic relationship as well so I view every step forward and only progress within the relationship with that intent in mind and I don't want her to be confused about it.

      I assume commitment off the bat when I start dating some one, but I don't want it jammed down my throat. You have to build toward commitment and let it mature and grow as the relationship progress. But I never go on a first date looking for or expecting commitment right away... because honestly you have no idea where the relationship will take you. So much depends on a multitude of factors.

      I have no problem with women being busy with hobbies as long as she is willing and able to make time for me or share her hobbies with me. But my point was specific about work and kids.

    • Everything I enjoy doing is indoors and i'm not into traveling.

      When you only want to marry an artistically talented and sciency nerd who plays hard video games, watches anime, sci-fi and fantasy movies, and nature docs, and who has cats, tarantulas, lizards, snakes, etc. as pets. it makes for a different outlook.

      I personally am not a dog person either.

      If I don't start out as friends first, it will never lead to a relationship. Going from strangers to "lets go on a date" makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable, what if she has stds? what if she gets pregnant and isn't the right fit for me? I'm very polite and kind to people, what if she takes that as interest? also I can't learn about what kind of mind she has in a short period of time, it takes years for that, and typically the type of woman I like tends to be the persuer, and ask over and over until i say yes, trying to rub out any reasons I come up with about why it wouldn't work out with debate, because we otherwise do all the same hobbies, and spend all our time together anyway, and even new guy friends tend to know what kind of girl I like within weeks of meeting me from normal friend conversation, so she'd know if she is a match for me long before I saw her as one, simply because she knows herself already.

      For commitment, to me its not assuming commitment with me, its stating commitment is the only thing she wants as far as relationship types, ie she isn't into casual stuff, and that info is needed to "get her foot in the door".

      As for being busy, I hate not being busy, and I only date a woman if she has the same hobbies as me because otherwise divorce is certain, thats just a rule in general for relationships.

    • To be clear on the "what if she has stds" part, I won't even handshake if I don't know.

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  • Adam1978

    Yes it's also pointless to write that you like to spend time with your friends. They wouldn't be friends if you didn't enjoy their company. Women tend to fill their profile with obvious human things like that, and end up telling nothing special about them. It's the only purpose of a profile to make you stand out among all other candidates. A guy wants to see how well you fit into his life. Hard to do if it is lacking info that peeks a interest and give something to talk about.

    Helpful 1 Person
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  • Curiousexy

    Thanks for the insights. In the past when I used dating apps, I was the "I am just looking to make new friends and meet new people" kind of girl 🤭 I will take your advice into consideration next time 😂😊

    Like 1 Person
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    • DaveJord

      Yeah I think that is most important piece of advice... literally for me it means your interested in casual sex, or you are not looking to seriously date anyone. I hate to say that, because honestly its more sincere to say you are just looking to make new freinds, then it is to say you are only interest in LTR.

      So say so thing like this;

      I am hoping to meet someone I can build a friendship with first, and see where it leads us.

      Because most honest, sincere, and genuine guys that are seriously wanting to date and looking for love, is looking for the same the thing. It suggest that you are not looking to jump into bed, but are willing to build toward a real relationship.

  • Msputiton

    Are you married?

    If so did you successfully find your wife online?

    Like 2 People
    Reply
    • DaveJord

      Was married, 22 years had several successful online relationships. But I am not being pressured into a second marriage just to get dates online.

    • Msputiton

      Your first marriage did you meet them online?

    • DaveJord

      Nope, I am curious to see where you are going with this.

    • Show All
  • TonightYouu

    here are some red flag hobbies and tags you left out too

    traveling & shopping

    Dog mom & Self employed

    Funny 1 Person
    Reply
    • DaveJord

      Hard to say everything... but Dog Mom!!! HUGE RED FLAG!!!

  • anon1903

    True. Although, this wouldn't get you results on ANY ONLINE SITE, and even on real life dates, these intros suck.

    Like 2 People
    Reply
  • Likes2drive

    This is really good advice for women and they should post this on the dating websites on what to and not to do when creating their profile. I would also like to add that they need to stop posting pictures with their friends on every profile picture specially the main one because I’m trying to figure out which one is them

    Reply
  • Avicenna

    I agree with all of your points other than saying what type of relationship she’s looking for. That’s important info.

    Like 1 Person
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  • boobliker

    on line date is all fake, most of who are on these sites are paid to get you chatting and every message cost to post

    Like 1 Person
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  • malwins

    I could get in online dating just for entertainment

    Like 1 Person
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    • DaveJord

      I think that's all it is for most, entertainment.

      You got the I have 3 kids, looking for a serious long term relationship types.

      The I have 5 pets, all I am looking is a doggie daddy type.

      The I am totally happy with my life, just looking for a man who shares a strong relationship with God and loves to worship type.

      They act like their too good or scared to talk to men, but expect you to try, then get offended that you did... lol 😆 🤣 😂

    • malwins

      Im not too good I Chat them up myself

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  • Jennz6

    Guys, don’t ask me for nude pictures

    Funny 1 Person
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  • zLlgoord

    Hello

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  • Anonymous

    Dude the last one you listed "I'm just looking to make new friends and meet new people". Women will say this simply because they feel online dating is beneath them. Most women have a chip on thier shoulder about online dating, it's gender specific. ALL WOMEN feel they should be pursued. And what do all women portray when you chase them down so to speak? That they're minimally interested. Even if they're dying to date you🤣.

    Online dating is offensive to women because they want to be able to tell any guy at anytime, "I'm just not interested in dating". They hate it because they feel completely exposed. They can't hide why they're there🤣. So they'll post thinks like, "just looking to meet new friends" or " my favorite "just seeing what's out there".🤣

    So while women d I not have to say it because we know what it means. They're still going to say it anyhow. Cause they have to let you know for thier own piece of mind that they don't really need online dating. 😆😆😆

    Helpful 1 Person
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    • DaveJord

      I think you're onto something there. They don't want to feel like they need to go on line, but they are on line.

    • Anonymous

      Agreed but they're going to act cool about it. Like they're just taking a look. They're never going to admit it's an act of desperation because all else has failed for them. 🤣

  • Anonymous

    I just don’t use dating sites. Meat in person only.

    Like 1 Person
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    • DaveJord

      90% of my time is at work or home, no available women at either of those places.

  • Anonymous

    Which sites are legit/recommended?

    Like 1 Person
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    • DaveJord

      Honestly fir my age group Match and Eharmony I have had sucess with. I did Zoosch before ot was okay... and Tinder kicked me off. Like I have no idea why, and Tinder is like that. No warnings, no explanation, they boot you. And no way to protest or read dress your just gone for life.

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