What Many Women won't Tell You About Dating Online: They Want Attention Not Love

[Apope16]

Many of my takes are not about hating women. And no, I am not some loser guy who can't get sex or women. I write controversial mytakes for your debate interest...But at the end of the day...a lot of what I write is based on data and articles read.

Take this article from the huffington post. This article is written by a WOMAN. It is interesting because many of the women who will read this mytake will try to attack the poster or the writer of the article rather than reply to the merits of what is actually written.

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/why-are-people-using-dating-apps-with-no-intention-of-dating-or-hooking-up_uk_5bd6e9c6e4b055bc948dea39?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAEIb2_chj9mMp8lOGF9wwGaIt_ylg1zr2Jk7YQQNnNRvEyGRYT0Wz7YdvsEeR2T5S5ahnCts3yXBQyNBwuErQHZY2X8xsd3d0sFMzYxG5-t4xmgh3ii0A3mJGHQZ2zrNglPYCcqmkSGSo8swH1tdAtweuyXFJ5SGgPdw2cjQpNxT

There is an uncomfortable truth...many women are using dating apps just for ego and attention.

You know how you got ghosted or went on a date with a girl and feel guilty because she never called you back? You are just a drop in the bucket among a flood of men. At the end of the day, she's just there to mess you to feed her feelings of boredom and emptiness. Nothing you do or say will get her to date you. Don't feel guilty because it was a lost cause.

[Thatsamazing]

Good point and so true. It's just really frustrating for us guys to see it. Especially since we get basically no attention ourselves.

[Thatsamazing]

Thanks for MHO

[jennifer_bloom]

I don't agree that woman want attention cause in order to get attention you need to have spare time on your hands where you can appreciate the attention you get - a normal person in society - whether male or female is very busy - some busy with their religion - some with athletics - some with education - some with money - some with friends - some with money making - some with family - some with house chores or boyfriends - a busy person does not have time to waste enjoying attention from men for their looks

[zagor]

It takes what, 15 minutes to set up a dating profile? After that the messages flow in, stoking the ego. So I must disagree with your point.

[Guy13]

Absolutely no doubt about it and it was that way before internet ever came out. Where do you think the phrase "Attention Whore" came from? The Internet, Dating App, and Social Media as a whole clearly demonstrative the Attention Cravings of the Woman.

[mindNsoul]

In my humble opinion I think while it is healthy to stim debate and critical thinking using controversy, it is equally unhealthy to use generalization or 'shock titles' to attract audience.

Concerning your actual question, the reality is that we live in a world where the youth are becoming more obsessed with exterior validation. I believe both genders are falling for it and it is evident in Instagram, Snapchat, and Tiktok feeds. Some young men and women are in constant quest to get that fix of this addictive drug called attention. And until they grow to learn that their value as human beings measures beyond that cute look and that validation coming from strangers. I don't think you can brows a dating apps or walk into clubs without meeting attention seekers who are not interested in a long term serious monogamous relationship. That's why these relationships are not for everybody!

I believe it is only realistic to assume that these people will always exist around us in variable degrees and forms.
Going out flat calling woman on dating apps attention seekers does not address or resolve anything and is far from reality. The reality being that narcissism and attention seekers do exist everywhere and in both genders. And it is up to you to learn how to spot them and maneuver through life without been falsely led or loved by one of them. It is a skill you need to learn and a hard pill to swallow.

Dating apps are based on looks so by the nature of the dating process there; you will find more people who are looks centered to be attracted to using them. Now if you find yourself only liking these type of people than maybe you need to revisit what attracts you about them and what type of profiles or women you normally approach.

[4evernessa]

You took the words right out of my mouth. I agree with everything you said

[mindNsoul]

Thank you 😊🌹

[Apope16]

Thanks for your post.. butbis it any different than CNN or TMZ? All clickbait. Haha

[jgibsonian1986]

This specific poster uses click bait and controversy to get his popularity. He wants opinionated and unrealistic "This is this way" ideas when in reality its as you said, where it's both genders and systemic of the common meta of life rather than women on dating apps.

The truth is is that committed and selfless relationships are becoming extremely rare. Keyword committed and selfless, because true love is self sacrificing and joyful of it. It's just not popular or politically correct for a man and a woman to be married, happy, committed, and value the other over themselves.

[Evil_Chuck]

An exemplary response, very sensible and far better than the topic deserved.

[mindNsoul]

@Evil_Chuck Thank you for your compliment 🌹

[Apope16]

Very good responses. The way I view it is GAG is a discussion forumn. I believe in the freedom and liberty that it allows to have taboo subjects that we normally wouldn't bring up in conversation to be debated. Its about internet freedom and exercising it.

[potatoiswhoiam]

I didn't read the article because the website uses cookies, and I didn't wanna agree
But yeah, I agree women on dating sites do want attention. It doesn't mean they don't want dating, but the dating they do want probably stems from feeling of loneliness or insecurities or they just want someone to make them feel better, which of course is the wrong motive for a relationship.
But same for guys. Some are guys who just want a one night stand and then ghost you, some are just insecure guys who don't feel confident enough to approach a girl in real life. Some are guys who have been rejected many times and decided to try out their luck online.
And among them there are men and women who also want a genuine relationship, but I think they're a minority, which is also why dating websites are not my thing. You can meet someone online randomly and not from a dating app or website, like from a forum sharing different views or you might have an opinion that strikes up a convo, and even tho that can also lead to online dating, most of the time I think it's more genuine than finding a partner on a dating app, because that person didn't specifically go to an app to search for a partner, they were living their lives and happened to meet someone online who they found nice to talk to and ended up together.

[DizzyDesii]

You kinda need attention before you can get to love 🤷‍♀️ But yea both genders ghost and the reasons are usually one of the three:
#1 you were rejected but couldnt take no as an answer so we ghosted
#2 you werent the one for us and we didn't know how to break it to you so we ghosted
#3 we simply wanted attention which is not always the case

[Barbaric]

It depends on the guy though. If they meet a guy who they find attractive they'll want to meet him anyway. My girlfriend went on POF "for a laugh" but we met on there. All you have to know is how to tell the difference between a girl just wanting attention vs one who is genuinely interested.

[Apope16]

Thats true. But what you are saying is that the mytake is TRUE. "Many Women" want attention not Love

[Barbaric]

Those women still want love from guys they find attractive. They just enjoy the ego boost from guys they're less attracted to also. They act differently towards different guys depending on how attracted they are. The biggest mistake guys make is thinking that those girls act that way with every guy. That if a girl acts a certain way with him, she's acting that way with every other guy. If they understood that this is not the case, they could perhaps figure out how to be the kind of guy she doesn't act that way with.

[Apope16]

True but look at the logic of it all. A guy goes on dating websites to swipe right. When he swipes right he is hoping that the girl will like him. When many women swipe right it is for a free drink, free meal, personal vendetta against men, toying with guys, boredeom, sexting, friendship... etc. it is sinister and wrong.

[Barbaric]

Again, it depends on the guy. Many guys will only do that to try to lie their way into a woman's pants and to play them. The dating game today is fucked up, and involves all kinds of game playing on both sides. The only way to remedy that is to understand how not to get played.

[crazy8000]

Pretty accurate!

Did realize that almost directly since they give out certain vibe with the profile. even how they behaves.
Exuses are many from one of the group's doing it.

For some funny reason. it's easy to make many of them interest through text.
They all does the same mistakes they aren't aware of.

Did usually pull a lot of experiments on them. psychological ones. even PUA ones. really nasty ones too with some.
Even developed how to appear to attract them just like reoel most of them.
How to make them begin to pull and mostly don't do any pulling.

The thing is that they suffer from same mental health problems that they need a quick fix for the moment.

When it comes to it they don't have anything of quality to bring to the table. non what so ever and they thing's they have.

[crazy8000]

"repel" not "reoel"

[Machiavellio]

I was a victim few times and even when you start dating them the attention don't stop until it drags you aparts and what you wrote above is the truth that will hurt the ego of a lot of in denial women.

Note women and men are No where near on the same scale, as evidently women get Niagara falls of attention online and person and 90% of men entertain it and the small minority of unwanted women who don't get the same attention give attention to the rest of men.
Good example. Just look at gag. A question by women gets the most answers, women get the most adds and points.

[Futureboy]

The problem is that women want so called "Mr Right". With my experience of online dating women are far more shallow than is men. I am just happy if a woman replies to me let alone goes on a date. At least they have cared about replying. So many women are scared to let a guy down but if he so much as asks something she disapproves of you don't hesitate to reply with your thoughts.

[BilyanasBeach]

Yes this is true. And what everyone won't accept is that online dating is bad without a single good thing about it. No one should practice it and if people would find potential partners the old way, the world would be a much better place. Do people today really expect to have a blooming love life with a stranger they accidentally matched with based on physical attraction, sometimes only based for admiration for one body part for example muscles, ass, boobs? Yes or no? NO!

[MysteriousDarkness]

I met my girlfriend online over 6½ years ago and we have a wonderful relationship. We were going to concerts, out to eat, to parks, to beaches, to farmers markets, to the movies, on vacations, sporting events, to hang out with friends and family etc. We cook together, cuddle together, have sex together etc. We loven care about, support, are loyal to etc each other.

[BilyanasBeach]

Nice but that's not enough to change my opinion, no one can say you won't break up lol you're not even married at 37 after 6 1/2 years so I'm not convinced that it's all that wonderful, not that I care either

[DellBell]

I met my current boyfriend online and we have a wonderful relationship... I don't think it matters where you meet them... if it's meant to be... it will be just saying

[svxgroup]

@DellBell mmm where?

[DellBell]

Badoo :)

[Smoothing]

Actually, I kind of agree. I have been on a dating site before and I noticed a difference in the behaviour of women in the site, compared to when you chat them up face to face.

Women tend to be more attention seeking on a dating site than when you meet them face to face.

Having said that, not all of them though. That is a slight generalisation.

[Midnight_Kiss]

Finally someone who points out "not all"

[Smoothing]

I just pointed it out because it is true. It is not right to put all women in the same box like it is not right to put all men in the same box

[Midnight_Kiss]

Couldn't agree more

[Apope16]

THE ARTICLE DOES NOT SAY ALL WOMEN. I PURPOSEFULLY did not use the term all to try to weed out people like YOU andbthe woman before who will argue distracting absolutist points rather than the merits of the issue.

[Smoothing]

I understand @Apope16

[Maysexy]

It may not be correct, because some people are for attention and ego, but there is nothing wrong with it. Everyone can have their own choice, and men will also date for sex or hookup. And of course after getting acquainted, we must get attention. I also have my own business now, so even if I want to get attention, even Hookup is OK. Like some sugar mommy dating apps, I will also download chats. Cougr is ok

[strongmother]

I think that there are some good people who genuinely are looking for a serious relationship online. On the other hand, there are a lot of predators on dating apps. Dating apps are the playground for narcissist and sociopaths. They are con artist and will take advantage of you. Some of them are very good at what they do. Men and women predators are both out there running games

[TheFlak38]

I've met guys too stupid to admit that this is the truth. I can imagine all these attention whores sending messages to these desperate dumb guys, which sometimes can even be "I love you" while another guy is fucking them as they hold the phone and typing the message since women are addicted to their phones.

[Midnight_Kiss]

Whether this article is written by a man, woman or a chimpanzee, I find it highly irritating being tarnished by the behaviour of others just because we are the same gender.

[Apope16]

So are you saying that using apps for attention is a bad thing?

[Midnight_Kiss]

Yes unless that is the purpose of the app in question or if you make your intentions clear from the start. I have noticed a massive increase in men on dating sites since the lockdown commenced and I can bet that 99.9% of them are only on there to kill the boredom and once some sort of norm returns all those men/ women that they are talking to will be ghosted without a care in the world.

[DellBell]

I don't agree sorry. Yes some women probably do go on it for just the attention but then there is women that actually want to find love because they are sick of assholes

[Pighttussy]

This is so false. I recently matched with a girl on bumble and we barely talked for 4days before she said she didn't want to pursue romance with me. I was online thr whole time and replied withing seconds (its quarantine).

[Apope16]

Advice.

1. Read the comments above. Its true.
2. Never blow up a woman's phone and talk. Ask her out the same day you match online
3. Only use the phone for setting up dates
4. Be blunt. "Look. I think you are attractive. Lets meet for a date when are you free?"

[TheHonestBlock]

Women won't say yes to a date right away. Even if she says she's not comfortable yet, it doesn't mean she won't lead you on. Christ, you'd be lucky just to get a real phone number.

[JackieJaii]

Who hurt y'all? First off I agree with being blunt about your intentions but asking her out the same day isn't a smart idea. Personally, it's a safety thing for me. I'm not going out with a guy if I only know his screen name and whatever's on his profile. So if a guy I just meet an hour ago is stressing about meeting up I'm most likely say no, can't speak for all women tho. Others may just not want to move so fast

[TheHonestBlock]

@JackieJaii Judging by your naïve "who hurt you" comment, you are either discrediting men's experiences altogether or just really ignorant to how men are treated.

[JackieJaii]

I'm well educated in how men are treated by some women. I say some bc some it doesn't apply to all women which should be common sense. And also why I added “can't speak for all women tho”. My question of who hurt you was not to discredit or ignore it. It was too ask who hurt you bc your comment seems based off a personal experience than an actual fact.

[Pighttussy]

@TheHonestBlock @JackieJaii @Apope16 The whole story goes like this. On the first day she was super friendly and even asked me out on a gig after this quarantine since we both liked metal. I agreed and we talked more about music and movies and stuff. By the second day, I wanted to know more about her but she wasn't ready to share details of her life, which is understandable, but we did talk a bit about our ex (es). She had recently got out of an year long relationship. By the third day she came online for about an hour and then she said she wanted to cry and again didn't give any details. On thr fourth day she just coldly saud she didn't wanna pursue a 'romantic interest' with me.

[TheHonestBlock]

@JackieJaii It's the science of data.

No woman has left me at the alter as you seem to be implying.

[JackieJaii]

@TheHonestBlock. Cool story bro.

As for you, @Pighttussy she didn't seem to be leading you on our using you for attention and you say she has just gotten out of a long relationship. My guess is she was just looking to talk to me someone to get over her ex but wasn't looking for anything serious so she told you that rather than have you become a rebound. Have you talked to her since?

[Pighttussy]

@JackieJaii Well I asked her what went wrong but she just said she is in a dull period in her life right now and it had nothing to do with me. Then she apologised if she came off as a bitch and preferred if we stayed as friends.

[JackieJaii]

@Pighttussy I wouldn't take it personally, some people just handle breakups differently so she may just be in a depressed slump at the moment

[Pighttussy]

@JackieJaii She was swiping on bumble. I find that hard to believe.

[JackieJaii]

@pighttussy I can't speak for everyone. She may have initially been looking for a rebound bound or just someone to talk to so she didn't think about her breakup

[Pighttussy]

I don't know about you, but to me, that does sound like she is a bitch

[JackieJaii]

Possibly 🤷 but that's between you two. If she was leading you on yea shitty but if she's just trying to figure stuff out no but I can't say bc I wasn't apart of it

[angeliquedevereux2]

I get an ego buff when I post selfies on instagram and get flooded with comments. I use dating apps for love not attention

[not329446]

Sounds like you have no problem finding attention. How is the search for love?

[Rob17792]

figures

[jgibsonian1986]

99% of people want attention, and ALL women want attention, epicially from attractive guys. I don't see what the big deal is; if someone's heart just wants attention their heart never loved you in the first place and never would have.

[TheHonestBlock]

There's no solid incentive for men to use the app. If men used it for the purposes of attention seeking, this article wouldn't be here.

[jgibsonian1986]

Who says they don't? What is sending a dick Pic other than looking for attention?

[TheHonestBlock]

You're mixing things up. Are you saying most men use dating apps so they can get their penis rated?

[jgibsonian1986]

Men use dating sites for their own purposes and I am at no position to start guessing what they are; but I know that most everyone likes attention from who they enjoy. It's not wrong to want attention, but it's wrong to only want attention. It really doesn't matter your gender is what I'm saying.

[bourgeisenafied]

They are always weird. One day they stab you in the back, One day they ask do you love for no reason and etc.

[bourgeisenafied]

Do you love them for no reason