Search Results: he will not speak to me

30f and I really can’t tell if I’m inevitably single because I don’t want a relationship or it’s a case of self sabotage. Within the past few years, the only attention I’ve gotten from attractive guys were on dating apps. But that should be taken with a grain of salt, I feel like compared to the average woman, I don’t get attention from quality guys in person. I’m pretty shy and tend to speak when spoken to, on top of bad anxiety, I’ll say I question if women can relate to my lack of sex drive. I haven’t had sex since my early twenties/don’t masturbate and couldn’t care less if I died a virgin, will feel some kind of way if I’ve never found love though.

It’s as if I want the reassurance I’m desirable (from what seems like decent men) vs actually going out on dates, I’m insecure but wouldn’t just go for anyone that gives me the time of day. I just don’t get why it can’t ever go my way w/ the OLD apps, it’s likely bad luck but a pattern of: ghosting, fizzling out, the convo not flowing to my expectations & I dip out, just lack of interest (can go both ways) etc. I’m attracted to men, I really don’t think id date a woman but something about men at the same time turns me off (physically & personality wise). Like almost every woman I've known has been boy crazy since they were pre-teens and I never got it, I thought they were exaggerating or I was a late bloomer. Well here I am 2 decades later, my closest thing to boy crazy were celebrity crushes.

Am I looking for excuses to justify being single? Is it simply a case of being unlucky? Is there more to unpack here? Or is the right guy all it takes for it to fall into place?

Greetings, all. Long time, no chat.

I'm doing research for a book and would like to know what you all think about this.

If you know or remember me, you know I like detailed comments, the more exploratory, the better. GAG is a place to socialize but also to think about the world, and how we all fit together (or don't).

So, I'm asking this question as deliberately and consciously open-ended, so as not to narrow down the thinking too much, but I will say that 'objectification' is key. Write whatever comes to mind. I never delete comments unless you're harassing someone or being extremely rude. Otherwise, I enjoy an array of opinions and angles. Speak your mind, speak your peace, non-anonymized.

I will set one, sort of, parameter, though—I'm not so much interested in, have you ever been an object, or how often, but more so in terms of the hypothetical, how would/did it make you feel?

And, ladies, feel free to comment, but the poll is for the gentlemen this time.

Hope you all are well,

ta, ta