Search Results: show your interest

So I would really appreciate some insight from the girls out there about whether or not this girl at work likes me. I certainly don't want to make it awkward between us. We pass each other at work and our conversations have always been light hearted and work related. I take the opportunity when I can to show my appreciation for the work that she does as she is in HR and that as we all know can be a really difficult job. Well after a big presentation she did i made the point of congratulating her on what an awesome job she did and she seemed appreciative. I asked her if she would love to get coffee the next time we are in the office together (which would be a week later) and she said "Wonderful! Yes I should be in". That day came and i felt nervous so i just left it and neither of us spoke about grabbing a coffee together. Well fast forward to last week - it was a rough week as there was a huge round of layoffs across the company and i am sure she was heavily involved in all of that and i can only imagine how awful it was for her and others in HR.

I let the dust settle and then reached out to her yesterday and said "Hi [insert her name here] - no idea what sort of week you had last week but my heart went out to you and others in HR. I hope you are okay." To which she responded a short time later to say "thank you [insert my name here]! I'm on vacation now recovering!" To which the conversation went thusly:

Me: "Good for you! Did you go anywhere warm and sunny for vacation?"

Her: "Opposite! I'm skiing in Japan!"

Me: "WOW!!! FUN!!! I'm jealous - I hope you have a truly awesome time!!!
I would love to catch up with you for lunch/dinner when you are back so I can hear all about your trip!"

Her: "Thank you! I appreciate you reaching out
Yes of course! Sounds like a plan"

So she is back from vacation next week and i am sat here wondering what to make of this.

Is she interested in me the way i am interested in her? Am I overthinking this? What should I do?

In my experience once a woman decides she can do this the only option is to cut her off and never look back. No amount of scolding and anger will ever change her mind. You have to show her you are ready to walk and mean it.

That’s a depressing option because a part of you is hoping she really respects you but you have to accept she doesn’t (which is a blow to your ego). It especially sucks if you put in the time, money, effort getting to know her.

But there is no substitute for self respect. It’s always better to be alone and have self respect vs. sticking around just to be exploited.

I have had to do this to a few women in recent years. While not all women take kindness for weakness there are unfortunately a few women who will take all they can from nice guys and not feel an ounce of guilt/remorse about it. These women will actively seek out men to do this to as well. They will accept “dates” from guys like this despite having no physical attraction to them. You always have to have your guard up about that unfortunately.

It’s partially due to evolution. There was a time in history where women completely depended on men for their survival. So if a man could provide help/resources and a woman didn’t have to do anything in return she would happily take him up on it.

However this is also due to our “modern” society. Women are not being taught to respect men but to instead indulge their own interests with no after thought.

But anyway have any you guys ever drawn the line on a woman who acted this way and have her do a 180 on her behavior? I find that once a woman thinks she “has” you she will never change her outlook on you unless she really needs something from you.