There's a guy I've been texting with for a while. We live quite far apart, so we won't be seeing each other soon.
We started talking and he let me know how much he looked forward to my messages. I didn't often start any conversations, because I have been told in that past that I'm a little too eager to text. So I've only texted him once he opened a conversation.
I let him know that I didn't want to burden him with too many messages, and he assured me it never bothered him in any way.
So when we're in a conversation, I usually start asking questions to get to know him a little better, but now I realise that almost all questions are asked on my part.
I like talking to him a lot, but sometimes I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse, since almost every message is always a plain answer to my question, but never followed with anything that might show interest or even to keep the conversation going.
Now I don't feel like he needs to be (romantically) interested in me, but he mentioned himself that he wanted to get to know me better and liked talking to me... So how does that even work?
What goes through your mind in a similar situation? I'm a very bad communicator in the sense that coming up with questions and how to respond is very difficult for me, but I really want to try if it means we get to talk. However, sometimes it would be nice if he would try the same... is it that difficult?
Men, why would you let a woman carry the conversation?
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If a guy lets the girl do the asking and the carrying of the conversation they are less likely to say or ask something stupid. Also, the guy might be under a mistaken impression that he's listening to you (another reason why some guys don't respond much).
Another reason is he's a typical 'manly' guy, meaning he's not much into exploring his feelings or learning about other people. Manly guys are often all about sports, fishing and cars. Try talking about something you think he's into. See if he starts opening up suddenly on those topics.
My life experience is that once a girl has established I am single and got a rough idea of my net asset backing and cash flow then she just wants to talk about herself.
You maybe taking him out of his comfort zone into unexplored territory :)
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For what it's worth, I'm sorry that's your experience... People can be pathetic at times. Thank you for the insight though, I'll keep it in mind.
Don't worry about my experience :). If there is a group of guys and a girl joins then the conversation completely changes to accommodate her. That is just normal life.
He's probably one of the many people who seems to be under this stupid impression that a connection you have to work to make isn't a connection you ought to have.
I've met women who think the same way.
Basically, the belief is that connections you want to have in life are ones that flow naturally. So it shouldn't ever feel like work. They want the connection to be something that they just build naturally without thinking.
I understand the thought process, but it's not practical.
Well, either he is of the shy type so he does not come up with questions fast. The other possibility is he really thinks you are an intellectual person and curious also so he lets you carry on the conversation, ask questions and he will prefers to answer them.
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