Men should just go for it and pursue women true or false?

[Anonymous]

Hey, I have a toast to make! 🍷🥄okay now that I have your attention 🥰 I think it's time for you men to channel your inner confidence, I know it's there! and make a move when you spot that special woman who catches your eye.

Rejection? Yeah, it stings a bit, but that's just part of the game called life🫂. Remember, there's a whole world of potential connections out there, so don't let one "no" hold you back.

And let's talk tactics. While online dating has its perks, don't underestimate the power of good old-fashioned face-to-face interaction😉. There's something magical about striking up a conversation with someone in person, don't you think? So, don't be shy to put yourself out there and engage with people and Ahem "women"😏 who peak your interest.

Now, ladies, let's keep it real!😂. There's nothing quite like the thrill of being pursued by someone who knows what they want😍. It's flattering, it's exciting, and HOTTT!. There's just something irresistibly charming about a man who takes the lead... there's just something undeniably attractive about a guy who's not afraid to step up and go after what he wants! 🥵

Why do we love it so much? Well, beyond the ego boost😳, it makes us feel safe and cherished and wanted 🥰. It's also a traditional ingrained value that many of us women have been taught and believe in💓. Plus, let's be honest, even our biology says men are made to pursue women I mean 👌👈... if you know you know!.

So, fellas, don't let fear hold you back. Show that special lady why you're worth her time and attention 🥵!.

Cheers🥂 I've said my piece there's no going back for me so what are your thoughts based on the title is it true or false?

😍🥰

True, they should just go for it.

False, they shouldn't go for it.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I picked false.

I prefer women do the persuing, and I'll only accept her advances if I've been best friends with her for a few years first.

I'm not interested in dating strangers or proving my worth, if my worth isn't obvious to her while I'm just being myself, then she's not worth being with.

The issue isn't a lack of confidence or rejection risk, the issue is acceptance risk.

Women are often way too eager to jump the gun on dating without even bothering to get to know me well or let me get to know her well.

Simply put, I'm confident that I don't need to chase to get attention, if anything I'm insecure about how to put the breaks on her without discouraging her long term.

If I don't know her well, how am I supposed to know if I'm mentally attracted to her or not? And if I don't know the answer to that, I'm certainly not going to hit on her.

Howcome you assume that just existing and being pretty is enough? Its not enough.

She has to be smart, and talented in art and gaming, and share the same hobbies and interests and goals and lifestyle as me, and be an atheist, and doesn't lie or cheat, and is kind hearted and funny, and not want any kids, etc.

You can't obtain this information on a date, you have to spend time with them just hanging out with no expectations, just long enough to fish out any deceptions and truly understand how their brain works.

I'm an open book and go out of my way to verify who and what I am, so by the time she has done the same, she's either already made the first move, or she's not interested.

[Asker]

What i am trying to say is that if you see a girl or have a colleague or an acquaintance etc, you are attracted to you see she seems like your type ask her out as a guy, pursue her. The point of a date is chatting and getting to know each other better Afterall. Men talk to women right? like at work, library i dunno sometimes when your out you talk to the opposite sex, you may bump into a girl who tickles your fancy so i was encouraging ya'lls to ask girls out. I'll say it again men should be picky, have your type, not every girl is right for every guy and not every girl is a nice girl so yes be picky men. I wasn't saying y'all shouldn't have standards. Girls generally Do Not pursue men even if they are into them, It's a traditional/cultural and biological quality many of us have we wait for men to pick us and pursue us, so If you are a guy and your gonna wait for a girl to come to you that's like waiting to win the lottery. While you wait other men who are into the same types of girls like you are taking them off the single market and wife-ing them up that's the reality.

[TheSpaceGnome]

1. I know what you were trying to say, my answer remains the same.

2. Dating is generally not a good way to obtain information about a person. Dating implies romantic interest and sets expectations, dates are also too short of a timespan to verify anything your date claims to be true. It can takes years to know if she "tickles my fancy", its not an immediate thing.

3. I get hit on by women all the time. I made that pretty clear in my original reply, so thats not a concern, getting them to put on the breaks is, as I mentioned before.

4. As for men taking the ones I'd want "off the market", if she is that quick to hop into a relationship after some dates, then I don't want her, because it means she isn't very smart. So speed isn't a factor there. If anything those guys are weeding the non-starter women out of the pool for me, to make finding the needle in the haystack easier.

[Asker]

A date is hanging out with a person you're into one one one tho and if that one date isn't enough y'all go on more dates and start texting and calling each other too to get to know each other better. What I am saying is the one who has to ask the girl to hang out or go on a date is the man. women generally will not go to a guy they like and ask for a date or to hang out, very few women do that and it's mainly for the reasons I mentioned previously.

[Asker]

okay so you can try the girl who isn't hitting on you, who is your type hang out with her and see what happens. The one's who are hitting on you seem sketching why are they trying to pin you down so fast without knowing you well? the girlies who pursue man fascinate me cause they are a 1 in a million kind of breed truly, but with the girls you're talking about it's giving trick him into believing your baby is his so he can pay child support... when we chat here we are making things seem simplistic, relationships are complexed and multifaceted i mean you know that your type of girls who are being taken off the market by men who pursue them are not moving fast... if they are your type they are smart enough to take things slow right?, but i know dating is hard!

[TheSpaceGnome]

I know what a date is, I'm not going to be into her that quickly, maybe 3 years in to hanging out, but not sooner.

I've never had to ask a woman out.

Any woman who was interested in me (which at this point I've lost count) was interested in me long before I was interested in her (or it just ended up being me not interested at all).

Typically single women that I hang out with, start to hit on me about a few weeks into knowing me. I'm also very nice/considerate/caring/friendly to people in most cases (unless given a reason not to be), so often just my normal behavior is mistaken for romamtic interest.

I've rejected a staggering amount of women, and still feel like to find a match, I'd need to leave the country (or have a foreigner come to the US).

[TheSpaceGnome]

"okay so you can try the girl who isn't hitting on you, who is your type hang out with her and see what happens."

I've not met one thats my type mentally yet that wasn't either too young, or in another country, or taken.

[TheSpaceGnome]

The problem is arcades are a dying thing, and comicons are rare, so my type is at home, drawing, playing video games, building model kits, reading up on science and manga, watching anime and sci-fi/fantasy movies, petting her cat, feeding her tarantula, shopping online for collectable figures, etc.

Aside from online gaming, I have almost no chance to meet one of them in the US as I'm already done with school and I work from home.

In contrast, japan has tons of arcades, and an entire district dedicated to that type of geeky person.
The only times I tend to see that kind of woman in the US is when they are streamers, youtubers, instagram cosplayer models, that sort of stuff, but those women have millions to billions of men as options.

[Asker]

alright I understand what you're saying, it's very very hard to find love these days I wanted this post to encourage guys to purse their type of women and I wanted to hear why certain men do not pursue women which i did hear some reasons. Ultimately I just hope that everyone finds what their heart desires and I wish this unto you as well.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Well, my reason is I can't find her.

[Asker]

yeah no please do not feel alone dating is a struggle for many of us truly, It's not easy at all and sometimes you just end up compromising because it's so hard to find your type and you just hope thar those compromises will lead to you getting the person of your dreams.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I refuse to compromise, compromising is worse than being alone.

[NamerOfStars]

In a time and place where a man can be ostracized, fired from his job, and even arrested for "going for it", even if his intentions and actions are entirely innocent, no. No, he really, really shouldn't. "But I'm not a crazy psychopath who assumes anyone with a Y chromosome is out to get me!" you say. Good, I'm glad to hear it- but many women are, and society and the law encourages them to be.

Think about the risks you're asking him to take, all that so you don't have to- and think about the relative value you're offering, if you're demanding that much, and aren't willing to return the favor, especially in light of the significantly lower risk you face.

[Asker]

Name of stars, this is why men should be picky don't just go for any woman, go for a girl who you see is not a toxic, mentally unstable liar who will get you arrested for asking for a date. Please you guys said we must not assume that every man is a jerk because they are nice guys out there, so we did now it's your turn men do not assume every girl is out to get you arrested because there are some nice women out here waiting on you to pursue them!. The risk factor is always going to be there because even for women some end up saying yes to being with a psychopathic abuser who was in disguise as a nice guy and they find out after committing to them, we see women getting murdered and abused by men they are in relationships with, So with love comes risks, you need to risk it unfortunately!. i suppose there are some red flags we can pick up on before committing to toxic people but still the game of love is risky and i hope that most people will take risks that will lead to fulfillment and a thriving happy relationship.

[Asker]

As for returning the favor, after a man pursues a woman lets say she said yes boom they are now dating and boom they are now married. The man has a companion in her as his wife, he has someone to help him out, someone to confide in, talk to, he has a sex partner, he has a woman who will sacrifice her body to carry, birth and raise his kids, someone to keep him entertained. You may not have realised this but us women play our part we dress nice, get in shape, do our hair/make up to attract you guys, we learn to cook and clean to be good partners to you guys, we try to stay healthy so we can give our best selves to you and we sacrifice our bodies to make you babies, and there's probably more we do, the right women do these things toxic ones will ruin your life so choose wisely! take your time picking the right girl for you.

[NamerOfStars]

... Stay female. You wouldn't make it as a man.

[Asker]

listen... we can always switch if you're up for it because I'm lowkey scared to push my baby out for hours and then feel pains healing from that experience and trauma.

[Nikki1989]

True!

You snooze, you lose. That is how life works.

[Nikki1989]

Ha! The comments on here from bitter men are hilarious. Misery loves company I guess.

[Asker]

Nikki some of these guys should just identify as lemons because of how bitter they are lol. I get it tho dating is hard!

[Nikki1989]

Oh yes, but nothing worth doing in life is easy. I just think a lot of people are lazy.

[Asker]

I think you've got a point! it's the media and online dating, it's making people go out and interact in person less, it's killing their social skills and it's making them irrationally afraid of fighting to find the love they want within their feminine or masculine roles.

[Yannae]

False. Yes I'm very lucky with the relationship I was in and yes I did approach her. But I don't like the phrase "just going for it" I did not try to get with her as soon as I could. I learned about her first to see if she was actually a good partner as well. And I do need her to pursue as well. Because I want to know where I'm at in her mind. I want to know if she's interested too. If she flakes or doesn't show any good welcoming signs or makes no effort to spend time together, I don't see why I should pursue her. It seems for naught.

[Asker]

I'm so happy for you!, by go for it I was trying to sound encouraging I was not trying to say men should just purse any woman they need to follow your experience and be picky so they can pick the right kind of girl for themselves!.

[Yannae]

Exactly! Rushing into one is setting yourself up for disappointment or worse, heartbreak.

[JacobJordan]

Lol not a chance in hell I would pursue any woman from the west even if I were single. Thank goodness I am married and don't have to deal with the nightmare that is women today. Soooo not worth the effort. Maybe some pocket lint and a couple pennies. If I was single I would stay single would have far better things to do with my time and my money than waste it on modern women.

[Asker]

you should totally be saying there's not a chance you'd pursue women you're not single anyways, the single guys who also wanna marry one-day are the ones who need to go pursue women who are their type. Not all women in the dating market are toxic after all just like how not all men are toxic.

[JacobJordan]

Quite so. That is why I tell guys to look the same place I looked women that aren't American.

[JacobJordan]

Less trial and error that way which was quite vexing when I was younger. Asked out maybe a dozen women only to find out 7 of them weren't virgins, 3 of them drank a lot and smoked and 2 of them weren't interested. There were a couple others that also were not interested if I recall. Then I found my perfect person. She was basically me but female. Slightly different interests as well. We will have been together for 20 years next year

[Asker]

i'm happy for you Jordan!, these guys who are seeking women also need to be picky and take their time picking the right women for themselves, it's not easy to find love at all nothing is ever easy in this life tho to be fair.

[JacobJordan]

Nothing worthwhile is easy most definitely. As a quick historical lesson women historically made the first move. Just read before getting upset.
Women would put themselves in a situation where a man they like could initiate ie drop her handkerchief, stumble, drop something etc this would allow the man to jump in and strike up a conversation. The woman wouldn't share that it was intentional and wouldn't contradict her man when he says "we met when I returned x to her" the man of course never realized that it was the woman who started things. Nowadays though a lot of women are not feminine. They also are quite rude

[Asker]

That's true what a time it must have been to be alive, lol guys must just play this dating game well, they need to go out talk to girls who seem normal, make acquaintances, they must stop fearing rejection and stop taking it personally cause it's really not personal and they must pursue women who are their type who they see are not crazy and toxic, literally guys should know the red flags and leave the girls who exhibit them alone go to the green flag lady, pursue her buy her flowers, take her out, be creative men are naturally good at charming and pursuing girls they like!.

[JacobJordan]

It isn't rejection they are concerned about. It is being falsely accused of rape, sexual assault, abuse etc as a result of the metoo movement weaponizing accusations regardless of validity. .4% of men commit rape/sexual assault. 6+% of women falsely accuse men of rape or sexual assault. That is a disparity of 1,500%. Let's not also forget about the loud group of women that only want to destroy and kill men, or the women that want to steal from a man and of course we can't forget the women already in relationships. The toxic women have made it nearly impossible for guys to know which women are worth approaching especially when a guy could be doing nothing and get slapped with a lawsuit from a co-worker because he didn't acknowledge her one day and she falsely accused him of sexual assault. I say this with the utmost sincerity to the women that are decent. You need to start calling out the bs other women say and do if you want to see men approaching you in the future. The number of men intending to stay single is 50% and climbing. By 2030 projections say that 45+% of women between 25 and 40 will be single and not by choice. Men call out other men all the time. Men keep men in check and will do what we must to protect the women we care about. Ladies going to need to start doing the same because right now all that is happening is a growing number of men are realizing 1 they can't tell which women are worth it and 2 it is not worth the risk to approach a woman.

[Asker]

You're right!, BUT so many women are elevating themselves Jordan they are going to therapy, learning to improve their character, losing weight, being healthy, learning how to cook and clean, working soooo hard so they can attract a mate and be a good parent one day i see it allllllll around me. So men can just pick up on red flags which are how she dresses, what you wear tells a lot about you, how she treats people around her, what she says when she talks, look at her insta profile, her friends look here i am as a girl giving guys tips 😂.

You guys are at the super market you need to be strategic pick the apple that looks ripe, healthy and fresh without being deceived by the apple that looks fresh but is actually worm infested. Unfortunately us women cannot do anything about toxic girls who ruin men's lives for no reason but we call them out on social media because many women are decent women, so all I can say is guys play this game wisely! and gooodluck.

Remember us girls need to pick up on red flags too and be careful on saying yes to the right guy, there are also a lot of men who are toxic who make themselves seem like angels many girls end up committing to those guys and after they get your commitment the mask goes off and you find out he's a monster too late. These girls end up getting abused, murdered it's bad even the stats are proof of it so it seems both genders who are looking for love need to be very decerning and careful our lives at stake.

[JacobJordan]

All well and good to be bettering yourself. As I said problem is men can't tell. Sure guys know to stay away from girls that dress slutty. But that tells a guy nothing about her character. Just because she is demure doesn't necessarily mean she is a good person. Guys are far easier to decipher because guys rarely pretend. We either are something or we aren't. A toxic guy tends to showcase his toxicity quite early and clearly. Also men call him on that if it is in public or online. From what I have seen very few women are willing to risk being insulted online let alone in person even though they don't like how a woman acts. Well if women want to see a change they are likely going to need to as the clearest sign to a guy that it is a good woman is her willingness to call out a toxic woman. Most women WANT a relationship. 50% of men refuse to risk it. That should be a clear sign that there is a major problem. And that problem is not on men to fix. Hell we can't fix it even if we wanted too. The closest to fixing it we can get is doing what I am doing. Join forums and talk to people about these problems and hope that someone hears/reads it and realizes that they can do more to help the situation. You keep saying it is on guys this on guys that. You are not understanding that half of the single population is never going to approach anyone. Of the remaining half many of them approach despite the risks and after getting snapped at enough times they stop and join the remainder that sit back and go "fuck that I will wait for them to approach me"

While I understand your want to be approached by a man you could be waiting a very long while if modern women continue as they are. Yes I am married so my view is different but if I were single and given what I have seen coming from women in person, online, from other guys horror stories you couldn't pay me enough to consider risking what I have on a woman despite knowing that not all women are like that

[Asker]

Jordan you know what If the men won't approach women and the women who are toxic keep ruining single men's lives then I suppose people who want a relationship will just die alone then. I was just stating facts here, women do not pursue men generally even the nice girls just don't they wait for men to come to them and choose them.

To be fair a lot of guys are still out here pursuing women, I just got annoyed at some men I saw here online who say they want girls to pursue them like sir she ain't buying you roses, she ain't taking the lead the lead in the relationship and she sure as H ain't kneeling on one knee to propose to you with a diamond ring like she has a Y Chromosome when she has two X ones. I was like what the H and made this topic to tell guys how women are there's a small tiny percent of girls who pursue men and that breed of women astounds me honestly.

My lady friends and I get pursued by men tho, so I hope it stills happens I know it may not be in as much of a large scale like before though but it is what it is. I have no power to change the world at large lol, the people must see to finish on their own unfortunately I hope it will better and that people who deserve and want relationships get them and that they don't die single.

Also, may the single happy people in the world and the in relationships and happy people keep shining it's always beautiful to see people live the lives they want for themselves.

[Asker]

this internet is even causing irrational fear amongst people like only a small percent of men run into women who get them locked up for asking for a date. we see one story of an abnormal, toxic scenario and we assume it's at large but in reality there are so many decent men and women in the world. If all the decent people were a minority our species would have died out by now. As you said there isn't much we can do to correct the dating sphere at large hence I say let it be, what it's meant to be! lol 😂 thank you for insights Jordan!

[JacobJordan]

6% is not a small percentage. .4% is a small percentage and yet women use that.4% to apply it to all men.

[Asker]

Jordan you're married darlin, let the single ones see to finish with this mess 😂 lol we appreciate that you care about the us and the mess we have found ourselves in. I wonder how he world will look 10 years from now at this rate with 4 and 6 percent, guys pray for y'all kids incase they'll be looking for love in these run own streets where the worthy partners are hiding and aren't east to find!. like if you find a proper mate in this day and age you better appreciate them 4-6 percent extra to show you're gratitude for not being in the mess us single ones are in right now!.

[Asker]

the^

[JacobJordan]

If you or anyone else found a partner in this society you best do everything you can to make sure you stay together. Finding good people is hard enough lol.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Yeah just go for it! Well unless they are anon or have extreme amounts of baggage or expect men to do things for them based on the fact that they are women.

[Asker]

I hear ya, I mean it's not like those guys who pursue women who they are into who are their type are 45 year old men who make assumptions about anon women they know nothing about regarding them expecting men to do things for them"", as if they know an inkling about those anon women and their lives.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Totally because appearing anon certainly is a fantastic jumping off point for men to pursue! Go ahead and include my age, like that has anything to do with the question whatsoever while you're at it. by the way you should learn what the word "or" means in a sentence.

[Asker]

NOTED! 📝: Learn to use "or" in a sentence and learn what it means while I'm at it. 👍

[Asker]

📝: oh an stop being anon it makes Curious a bit grumpy.

[CuriousMufuxka]

No, you missed the entire point silly note to self anon youngling. I encompassed a shitload of assholishness towards women in my OP. 3 words I typed triggered you so much that the rest of your reply went in that direction of this being about posting anonymous! Curious finds humor in such stupidity as yours :)

[Asker]

okay but we don't have to start calling each other stupid. It doesn't have to go that far your comment sounded like an attack to me cuz I'm anon but you pointing it out helped I now get your point and I agree with you. Relationships should be a team work dynamic both partners should put one another on a pedestal mutually. If I said anything too offensive towards I'm sorry I didn't get your point at first.

[Asker]

you*

[CuriousMufuxka]

I merely found amusement in the stupidity of you letting your emotions briefly take over. Shit is funny tho lol. Anyway I do appreciate that you admitted your mistake. It at least to me shows respect. Have a good day!

[BonzoInBitburg]

They are cowards if they don't. There is literally no competition from other men approaching in real life. If you can start a conversation with a woman without being creepy you will have no problems finding a date or three for next weekend.

[Anonymous]

No thank you.

It's been my experience that most women are a losing proposition. And you want men to pursue that? What sense does that make logically.

Tell you what. If your gender as a whole decides to make a better case for why I/we should approach you. I/we will reconsider.

Till then, I'm quite satisfied with where things are at.

[Asker]

I hear ya, guys should be picky when it comes to dating because not every girl is wife/girlfriend material, some girls are demonic and want to ruin men's lives so i get it, I was just saying if you do find a suitable lady pursue her, don't except her to pursue you as a man.

[Opinion Owner]

Agreed. But that takes me back to my point. Women are NOTORIOUS for NOT being clear about their interest. So a lot of times the bad women come on strong while the good women the guys never knew had any interest in him till she gone and out of his life. I don't have a problem with pursuing and I think guys should pursue. But women NEED to understand for every good woman out there who has genuine interest there are 10 women just leading him on for the attention. I'm not blaming good women. But good women need to understand you're not wearing signs that say "good woman here". I'm basically done with dating. But I still wish to help others if possible.

[Truthatanycost]

False. All men should prioritize their spiritual and physical life purpose first. But if a man does want to be in a relationship, he should only give time to a truly godly woman.

[Asker]

if you say false then you're saying when a man finds a suitable girl he should wait for her to be the one to ask him on a date...

[itsclearlynicholas]

False. I don't want stalking charges against me or harrassment charges, so nope. I would forget and find other fish in the sea 😊 ⛵

[Asker]

this is why men should be picky don't just go for any woman, go for a girl who you see is not a toxic, mentally unstable liar who will get you arrested for asking for a date. Please you guys said we must not assume that every man is a jerk because they are nice guys out there, so we did now it's your turn men do not assume every girl is out to get you arrested because there are some nice women out here waiting on you to pursue them!. The risk factor is always going to be there because even for women some end up saying yes to being with a psychopathic abuser who was in disguise as a nice guy and they find out after committing to them, we see women getting murdered and abused by men they are in relationships with, So with love comes risks, you need to risk it unfortunately!. i suppose there are some red flags we can pick up on before committing to toxic people but still the game of love is risky and i hope that most people will take risks that will lead to fulfillment and a thriving happy relationship.

Most women DO Not pursue men they like it's a biological/Cultural/traditional thing for many of us girls, we wait for you guys to choose us and pursue us by asking for the first date, asking to hang out if you if you as the man see that we are your type and you like us, Literally even if a girl really likes a man she will never pursue him she will wait for him to pursue her first and choose her. there's only one in a million women who pursue men, and most men are aware of that's why men who want relationships are very picky and they only ever pursue healthy stable women while you wait for a girl to come to you sir there's a guy already pursuing her the good ones are running out!.

[Wiredone]

Yes they should go for it.

[Jupiter1]

I always went for it.

[Anonymous]

That's very, very true.