Society & Politics

How to approach people and be successful at it [2/2]

How to approach people and be successful at it [1/2]


16. Keep your mouth in check


It’s tempting to think that the world revolves around us. Not surprisingly, a lot of people talk about themselves non-stop because it feels good to them. However, being a good conversationalist means talking less and listening more. So don’t be a conversational narcissist. Let others have a turn.


How to approach people and be successful at it ^_~ [2/2]


[Pearls of wisdom, anyone?]


17. Avoid being a pretentious “one-upper”


I once worked with someone who always had to one-up whatever you say.


He always wanted to have a bigger and better story to tell than everyone else. Talking to him gets annoying really quickly. Don’t be that guy.


18. Accept that you’re not a genius


If you don’t, then sooner or later people will realize you’re just a fool desperately trying to look smart. If you don’t know something, just admit it. Most people will be glad to explain. That way, you’ll actually learn something (and end up being smarter for real).


19. Remove your habit of judging


Based on appearance alone, some people might be surprised to learn that that guy in a wheelchair is actually a great basketball player or that petite blonde is actually a doctor. Try to see past the exterior to be able to meet the real person that they are.


20. Know what topics get people to want to murder you


Nothing kills a conversation more quickly than an ill-advised tangent into an icky topic. You have been warned.


21. Get rid of your habitual filler words and phrases


By filler, I mean the “umm’s” and “ah’s” people utter when they’re trying to think of something to say. Then there’s the dreaded “like” filler, as in, this is, like, the most annoying filler, like, ever! This is a tough habit to break, but a little determination goes a long way.


22. Leave interrogation to the police and interview questions for hiring managers


Remember how I said you should ask really good questions to direct a conversation? It’s a good strategy, but don’t overdo it. If you barrage someone with too many questions, they will feel like you’re interrogating them.


Mix up your questions with some non-questions. Better yet, expand on the conversation based on what you’ve heard from the speaker to show you’ve been paying attention all this time.


How to approach people and be successful at it [2/2]


23. Reminder yourself that pauses are normal


I used to worry about what to say whenever there is a pause in a conversation. I’ve since learned pauses are OK.


Admittedly, it feels a lot less awkward being in silence with a close friend than an acquaintance you have just met, but don’t worry, there are ways to end the silence quickly and restart the conversation.


24. Stop interrupting, it’s rude


Have you ever had someone blurt things out before you’re done talking? It’s annoying, right? So don’t do it yourself. Avoid interrupting others when they talk or you may kill the conversation.


25. Be conscious of your body language


Seriously, you should do as your Mother has told you a long time ago. Stand up straight. Don’t hunch forward. Bad posture is just so uncool and unsexy.


Great posture automatically makes you look more attractive, interesting, and self-confident.


26. What are you doing with your hands?


Yes, we’re back talking about hands again. This time we’ll talk about where to put your hands while you’re talking. Your body language says a lot about you.


You may think your words are wowing your listener, but if your body language is conveying a different message altogether from your words, then you’ll be fighting an uphill battle for the entirety of that conversation. [i.e., avoid dead hands or hyper hands]


27. Stop looking away, give them your focus


Smartphones have somehow managed to connect people like never before while simultaneously destroying face-to-face communication.


How often do you go into a public place (e.g. a train or a park) and find virtually everyone in sight to be thumbing away on their phones? In the age of rapid digital communication, it’s the simple look-them-in-the-eye conversation that is bound to be memorable.


28. Slow down and don’t lose them with your words


As Michael Caine once said, “The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak slowly and subservient people quickly–because if they don’t speak fast nobody will listen to them.” Are you powerful or subservient?


29. Test out different vocal inflections


This is, once again, another obvious-sounding advice, but how obvious is it really? I know many people who speak as if they are unsure of everything they say.


One way you can tell is they tend to raise their voice at the end of a phrase, the way you would with a question. Only instead, they do this with EVERY SINGLE STATEMENT they say. It’s as if they are asking you for permission to speak.


30. End your conversation on a high note! [no pun intended regarding no.29. xD]


All great things must end. And sadly, that includes your lively chat with the lovely person in front of you. But don’t go out with a whimper! Like all great things, you should go out with a bang (and leave them wanting more).


How to approach people and be successful at it [2/2]


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How to approach people and be successful at it [2/2]
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