Society & Politics

How to approach people and be successful at it

How to approach people and be successful at it ^_~ [1/2]


1. Tackle approach anxiety


Are you deathly afraid of approaching people? If so, then you may a bad case of approach anxiety. As with most fears, the way you conquer approach anxiety is to desensitize it.


2. Get in the right mindset


You’ve decided to approach. Are you feeling a little nervous right before? Take 10 deep breaths to calm your nerves and tell someone to shut up.


No, not a stranger. Tell yourself to shut up. Don’t listen to your lizard brain or your fears.


You have to get in the right mindset.


That is, you shouldn’t treat other people like a total stranger. If you want to have a fun conversation then act like you’ve known the other person your whole life. It will lead the interaction with the right vibe.


Also, think of your conversation as a chance to make the other person feel good about themselves.


3. Channel your inner storyteller


Some more pre-game.


You need stories ready to make the conversation interesting. They don’t have to be dramatic or funny. But they should serve as fun conversational starters. That way, you’ll have something to fall back on when conversations turn into a lull.


4. Shake hands


You’re going in now. First off, shake their hand. Firmly, not with a dead fish grip.


Wait!


Make sure you don’t have sweaty palms. I used to have the worst case of sweaty palms in high school social dance classes. You can imagine how those felt for the other person.


How to approach people and be successful at it


5. Remove the voices from your head


You’re in. You initiated, but you’re starting to become nervous.


How many times have you started a conversation, feel weird, and try to exit as fast as possible? If your answer is zero then I bow down to your smoother-than-James-Bond socializing prowess.


The rest of us make excuses when we’re afraid. Tell your excuses where to go. Kick them out of here. You can pull through anything.


6. Think like an economist


Opportunities in life come and go. In my personal life, the biggest regrets I have are not from things I have done. Rather, my biggest regrets are from things I could have but did not do. Will you regret it if you don’t muster up the courage to approach that certain someone?


7. Remove your serial killer look


Obviously, you’ll scare someone if you don’t. People are naturally wary about meeting a stranger at first. The way you ease their wariness is to have a relaxed smile that seems natural, not with a serial killer grin.


8. Remember that you’re not auditioning for a play


You don’t have to start a conversation in a witty way in order for it to be memorable. Don’t memorize lines. Just start with “Hi!” and you’re good to go. Of course, have a follow up for that 'Hi', because if you don't you could be looking at an opportunity wasted. Naturally, as you become more comfortable with strangers, you can add more flair to your bantering.


9. Never forget another name


Always, always, ALWAYS pay attention when the other person introduces their name. Obviously, most people take their name very personally. So remembering someone’s name correctly will no doubt leave them with a good impression of you. Think of how you feel when someone remembers your name towards the end of a conversation. Feels pretty good, doesn’t it?


10. Give out genuine compliments


You can be personal by offering a sincere compliment. People like to feel liked.


Remember, sincerity is key. Fake compliments are pretty obvious and even insulting.


Quick tip, comment on something they put effort into. Complimenting them on something out of their control isn’t as warming as something you noticed they did.


11. Take compliments with class


So, you can dish out compliments, but can you take them? A conversation is a two-way exchange. Show your classy side when you’re on the receiving end of a compliment.


Don’t downplay them. Don’t deny them. Just say “thanks.”


How to approach people and be successful at it


12. Empathize and relate to build a connection


Having gone through university myself, I understand how stressful exams times can be. I often use this as a way to empathize with students who are currently going through exams.


Showing someone you know how they feel makes them more comfortable to talk with you.


13. Keep your ears open


I know this advice sounds obvious. But then how come so many people absolutely SUCK at listening? It’s sad but true. So if you train yourself to be a skilled listener, you’ll no doubt instantly standout among the crowd. Listen more often than you talk.


14. Make them feel good with great questions


So what happens if you’re at a conversational standstill and none of the techniques I’ve discussed so far is working? Ask awesome questions! People love talking about themselves, after all.


15. Take the lead


What does being a good ballroom dancer and being a good conversationalist have in common? You have to know when to lead and when to follow in both situations. So, lead!


How to approach people and be successful at it


How to approach people and be successful at it [2/2]

How to approach people and be successful at it
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