STOP being sexist!

LuckyLittleLucy

I know. You saw the title and though:

Seriously? More feminism? Our society is pretty equal... I'm not sexist...

But I'd like to address a couple serious issues surrounding the sexist nature of our society.

Domestic Abuse

We all know it happens. I don't doubt you say to yourself "I feel so bad for the women it happens to!". Stop.

Shall I be blunt?

You are sexist.

40% of reported cases of domestic abuse are suffered by men. In addition to this, male victims- like female victims- are often too terrified to report. Furthermore, society ridicules men who make domestic abuse claims! This means even more male victims say silent! One man went on a chat show to talk about his experiences, and the host had to slience the audience to stop them from laughing when he said,

I had to jump off a third story balcony to escape- I ended up in hospital.

The host said- thankfully- said,

If this was a female victim, you wouldn't laugh- have some respect"

If you search 'support for domestic abuse' you will get plenty of sites supporting victims- female victims.

Men are expected to lock it all away in their minds. Another example is the true tale of a man who went to a fully female support group.

He was laughed and mocked out of the room for being a male victim.

It has to stop.

There is this societal view that "men can't suffer domestic abuse" because men are supposed to be stronger- dominant. That in itself is sexist because it says men must be dominant over women and those who aren't are weak and deserve to be laughed at.

Society is telling us that men who are victims are too weak. It also tells us women are more likely to be victims because women are weaker.

Both of these views are lies.

Domestic abuse is suffered by both sexes- it's horrific and we should start talking and supporting those who need help- regardless of gender. These conversations need to be had, because why should anyone have to suffer in silence?


Rape

Once again, there a problems with the way female victims are treated for rape. They get told it's the way they look, dress, or act that is to blame. Those things are not true.

However, let's take a moment to think about male rape victims. You may be thinking "MALE rape victims??".

Rape can happen to anybody. Not only is there so much victim shaming, but how can a man report a rape without it being seriously questioned?

How could I report my rape, when she had the bruises?

This is what one male victim had said. The woman that raped him got on top of him. Eventually, he managed to push her off- she was physically bruised from falling over but he had become the victim of a violent crime. But who would the police- and society- believe?

Once again, rape is horrible for anyone who suffers it, and when there is support, it's geared towards female victims.

In the (approximately) 3500 rapes recorded in London last year, 1000 of those happened to men- not quite a third, but more than you expected? So if almost a third of victims are male- with 50% of those being under 18- why aren't we talking about rape as something that happens to males AND females??

Support should be for everyone and victim shaming and ridiculing should be stamped out! Be that person who changes things for the better and listens to male victims.

I think this picture makes the point for me.

STOP being sexist!


I hope I haven't offended anyone with these opinions etc. but these things happen and I feel like we should open up and have these conversations.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

STOP being sexist!
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Johnyk
    Males can't be raped because they're stronger? What is castration then? Any attempt to injure the male genitals should be treated as sexual assault and castration should be considered as rape.
    Is this still revelant?
    • pnl86

      Dude, STOP BEING SEXIST!

Most Helpful Girl

  • RJGraveyTrain
    Yes! Someone finally taking up for some beliefs I agree with!
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

521
  • genuinlysensitive
    I noticed that you mention proper feminism. I assume you mean by that feminists who truly do believe in equality between the sexes. The trouble is the people who RUN the movement do not practice what they preach. The ones who run it simply use that as propaganda to get good meaning people to support them.

    If you do research on the suffrogate protests you will see it was a protest because the evil man British government cut funding to many women's shelters. Or so the SAY. The truth is apparently there is a new British law that says domestic shelters MUST accept male victims or have their funding cut. You know the whole equality thing and as you mentioned 40% of domestic abuse victims are men. These feminists who supposedly support "equality" would rather have their funding cut than help male victims! And this is just the tip of the iceberg!

    Of course the media, and the celebrities eat it up and support them wholeheartedly.

    The organization is run by hypocrites, and there are a lot of good meaning people who refuse to see it and see any criticism of their leaders as an attack. It is much the same as many of the "Christian" groups here in the US. Those who preach about the goodness of God and the teachings of Jesus, but their leaders ignore the whole "Love thy neighbor" "Help the poor and the meek" "Be kind to foreigners" teachings. And once again any criticism of the movement's actions or leaders is seen as an attack.

    Excellent take by the way! And never worry about offending people with the truth. If they are offended by reality that is their problem, not yours!
    • It's difficult, although it sounds mean, I can understand why they'd only want same sex shelters. I'm not trying to impose a stereotype on all men, but there would be a lot of vulnerable women there that men may seek to take advantage of, or vice versa.
      And do you mean the suffragette protests for the female vote? Or more recent stuff?

    • Oh I get your a troll. We need equality, but we can't help men because they are all violent rapists. Typical feminist bullshit! Feel free to go back under your bridge troll!

    • No... Yeah some men are rapists, but so are some women. That's why I said "it could be good to have same sex shelters" because of "vulnerable women" that men could "take advantage of" or "vice versa". VICE VERSA meaning women could take advantage of vulnerable men.
      Seriously, calm down, I'm supporting you! So please don't just call me a troll because you didn't read it properly.
      Also it's *you're so be careful with the grammar.

    • Show All
  • RainbowFanGirl
    Good take. Men are looked on by society as being macho, tough, and if they cry or get taken advantage of, they're pussies. Society needs to realize that men can get abused as well, it just goes unheard because we are so focused on the issues that women face. Abuse of men needs to be brought into the light more as much as it is for women. Nobody deserves to experience the horrors of domestic violence and rape. After all, we are all human. 👍 Great job.
  • RexCatholicissimus
    I see that you're British, did you see that on the Jeremy Kyle show, out of interest? I seem to recall a similar episode fairly recently where a bloke admitted to getting physically assaulted by his ex and I heard a few chuckles from the audience.
    • I don't watch it myself but I heard about it and it came to mind when I was writing this, and thought it deserved a mention...

  • aliencreature
    Feminists LOOOVE to use domestic violence as an excuse, but not a goddamn one knows ANYTHING about it. Because if they knew and could appreciate the history of the movement, they would not be feminists. THIS is the creator of the first shelter ever and she is an inspiring and courageous woman, literally willing to risk her life for what is right
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix5-jqQYU1M

    the majority of rape victims are men, if you count prison rape. which kills 35,000 inmates every year with HIV. If you ask me when someone rapes you so hard you die and there is literally no recourse for it that is so much more of a pressing issue. People love to make a fuss about rapists when their victims are female but no one gives a shit about them once they're locked up. they don't stop raping. they just rape others, people who are locked up minor drug offenses, lesser charges, who don't have the support of an entire prison gang behind them, who will die in prison after being raped repeatedly for stealing a can of beer, or just happening to have a joint on them when the cops randomly searched their vehicle. that is seriously fucked up
    • -No0ne-

      Actually, the people doing the raping in prison are rarely rapists. Rapists in prison are often in PC or are the ones getting raped.

      In NJ there are, statistically, no more or less rapes than in other prison systems, but in NJ, in Avenel, there is a sex offender treatment facility - sex offender prison with therapists - ADTC. The majority of sex offenders in NJ are segregated to the ADTC so who is doing all of the raping at all the other prisons in NJ?

      ... just one example.

    • @-No0ne- you're wrong

    • -No0ne-

      Data to back that up?

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  • AvaMarina
    Love this take! Of course I want to support female victims, but it bothers me so much how often males are looked over, dismissed, or mocked for being victims of the same awful crimes we take so seriously when it comes to women. It's messed up.
  • RajeshTheJeshter
    Don't give a fuck about your problems.

    Feminism's narcissism and self entitlement has cause me and millions of other men to literally not care about rape.

    It's not our fucking problem.

    It's not our job to intervene.

    It's not our job to "foster a more tolerant attitude" or "curb toxic masculinity"

    We literally don't give a fuck.

    So just stop asking us to. Because we don't care about you anymore.
    • So you don't care that your friends, relatives and co-workers (male or female), could be suffering from physical and psychological scars due to domestic abuse and rape?
      You don't care?
      Is it not important to you @RajeshTheJeshter that people around the world suffer because of this?
      It is you fucking problem actually. Because (and though I'd never wish it upon anyone) one day, you could end up as one of these victims, or somebody you love. But if it's not your problem, I guess you won't care then either.
      Did you even read the article? Or just see the title? I'm supporting men, not just saying "women need more rights" actually.
      It's not my problem, it's everyone's- are you saying male victims of abuse- sexual, domestic or otherwise- aren't important?
      That's pretty callous.

  • IamNuts
    I guess so much focus is being put on women's issues that we forgot or at least overlook that men more or less face the same issues as well. Anyway nice take 👍
    • dartmaul15

      exactly!

      And honestly, this rather extreme imbalance is why so many men stand against feminism.
      Not because they're against gender equality, but because those movements forget the male side.
      So being against the feminist movement is their way of saying "i'm tired of the bulllshit where only the woman is the victim. It's time to realize men got problems too"

    • Marstalk

      @dartmaul15 There is males movement too.

    • dartmaul15

      @marstalk in all honesty, when did politicians listen to those? When did feminism nowadays give a rat's ass about those?
      Wait, scratch the last one, they seem to care a lot. And work against them.

      The fact it's called "men's movement" shows a fundamental problem. When men need to focus on explicitally men's problems to be marginally heard, and are even then worked against by feminism (even if feminism should be their own logic want to help said movements)

    • Show All
  • the_rake
    Tbh unless it's a man doing the raping or the woman whips out a rubber dildo or viagra needle it's gonna be difficult to both overpower AND rape the man. That's why most people are so incredulous about the whole thing - because of all the circumstances which need to take place for a man to get raped.
    • Rape is forced penetration of any kind, she could use her fingers.

    • Honestly, I was told by police the British laws state it's penile penetration, but you should probably check anyway.

    • the_rake

      @4465loveyou5577

      What would anyone have to gain short of humiliating the man and still, the man would first have to be overpowered.

      There's just way too many circumstances involved to make this phenomena anything more than an extremely freak-case scenario that couldn't possibly constitute more than 0.1% of rape or sexual assault cases. Homosexual rape could be a lot more common.

      @mytake owner

      How could it be penile penetration where the woman's concerned?

    • Show All
  • dragonfly6516
    Thank you for writing this. Completely agree and support the message here. I would personally love to see an end to gender stereotyping.
    • Me too! I thought maybe this would help to get people talking about it...

  • Anpu23
    One of the big reasons for this lack of dialog is for years and years the feminist movement has touted that women are the victims and men are the abusers. (Rape and domestic violence are tools that the patriarchy use to keep women down) Any study has been countered, downplayed or buried that does not follow the party line. Being a victim of rape from a woman I will tell you from experience that any of the hardline feminists will state that women do not rape, and anyone who claims otherwise is lying. These dialogs have shaped our legal system and government policy. Feminism is not the solution to this problem they are the cause of it.
    • Proper feminism would help I think, because it's supposed to mean gender equality, but the way the word has been manipulated to mean something else means it's become something it never was, or should be.
      This new, fake version has downplayed and mocked male victims such as yourself and I think it's totally totally wrong and it is sexist, because it says you don't matter when you do!

    • Anpu23

      Again we're talking about the movement from the 70's and 80s that has created this problem. My mother is a bra burning, rally marching feminist from the 70's, and to this day. will not entertain the thought that I was raped by a woman. NOW has publicly stated that rape is defined as violence against women. Whenever I have spoken about this to the feminists of mine and my mothers generation they will either claim that I am lying or delusional. I have scars on my shoulders from a household iron, yet my mother insists that I am lying about my experience. There is no room in feminism for female rapists.

    • I'm sorry to hear about your experiences, obody should be treated like that.
      In the eyes of the [English/British] law, they're right- women can't be rapists. But that's because rape is defined as penile penetration, therefore it is physically impossible (by that idea) for women to be rapists.
      However, where do you draw the line?
      You were forced to have sex without consent, therefore I would define that as rape. It's a thin line to walk.

  • AleDeEurope
    Good to know that a 15 y/o girl has a brighter and open mind than many women that are way older than you, chapeau for this Take. You rarely see people taking men's issues seriously, especially women.

    I looked for the video of the guy getting laughed at for being abused, here it is. Clear example to why most domestic violence towards men is not reported, if they laugh at you in TV, imagine what would happen when there's no cameras around.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PR5ryhnYtQ
    • Exactly, that''s why I thought maybe if I wrote this, I could start people talking about it...

  • Applefan1
    WOW! O my gosh! What a great take! Domestic abuse and even rape is much more even between the genders than I thought. This is why I feel men and woman will never be equals until a woman that domestically abuses a man or a woman that rapes a man is taken as seriously in society as it is when it happens to a woman. It is sexist society does not take it as seriously when it happens to a man. Women that do it to men should get just as much jail time as a man would get for doing it. I really love your take, thanks for sticking up for us men. You have written this very well and it is all true. I have nominated it for a promotion on GAG. :)
    • Thank you! I'm glad people are taking this so seriously! It's an important issue. I think both genders suffer from sexism it's just nobody wants to talk about it, which makes it really difficult to sort out.

    • Applefan1

      You are welcome and yes both genders do suffer from it. The difference is women can speak up about sexism againts them way more than men can. There is a major double standard in society about this.

    • Exactly! There's even sexism against sexism- I'm still not sure how that even works but I think you get it!

    • Show All
  • TripleAce
    I agree completely woth everything

    But i wanna play devils advocate just for a moment. The law is the law and its there to protect the rights on the victims of course.

    But take the logic of a guy drinks goes to a party and has sex but he's super drunk. There both super drunk. If he's exempt for his actions 'just' because he's wasted, does the same ideology apply to the girl too who 'raped' the guy.. i mean there both piss drunk and some how there having sex but they both can't stop each other
    • I, personally, don't think either that guy or that girl should be exempt just because they're wasted. Yeah, you should be allowed to have a good time and being drunk isn't the worst thing ever... But if you made the choice to get drunk, it's your fault. It's your responsibility to keep yourself safe- and by extension keep others safe from you, if necessary. So I think they would both be to lame- can you rape each other?
      It's tricky...

  • Phoenix98
    That's not being sexist it's just plainly being a horrible human being.
  • jjmarvin
    Every victim is shamed by society, it's just that men and women have a different paradigm around it. Men and women both empathize, but again, different paradigms.

    Emotions, like empathy, from/to the female part of society are just treated as more valid right now

    But I'm sure i could go infinitely deeper, pointing out sociological theory and emotional paradoxes till the cows come home.

    We're all just terrible the whole way round and needlessly complicated. But we're also filled with infinite potential for good.

    Ok now read that and search for a point of some kind.
    • You're right! everybody is shamed for and struggles with something. Some things are just spoken about more than others. Male rape etc. isn't really talked about and I really just wanted to start the conversation.

  • Gommers
    Life is sexist, racist, biggotted, and otherwise hellish. You can do one of two things, get over it and live or you can die fighting for an idealistic life that will never exist because on a foundational level people are different.
  • pineappleshortcare
    Let's throw in that these things don't only happen in heterosexual relationships, either. Male to male and female to female domestic/sexual abuse happens all the time too. Let's just be anti-abusiveness. I think better access to mental health & substance abuse resources to people of all ages is a start. I have a really big family and have seen every variation of domestic abuse... Including my family members bring on both sides of the abuse. But those two issues are huge factors in every incidence I have seen.
  • Maverickj
    Wow. Thanks for taking the time to do all this. It means a lot to me.

    Very good take.
  • -No0ne-
    @aliencreature

    Seriously, no chance at all you will waste your time on an adult discussion?

    Where did I or the writer of the article condone the behavior? It is vile, but it also happens. The point is that trying to pretend that such horrible things do not happen does not help.

    You said I was wrong - about what I am not completely sure. Am I wrong, does ADTC not exist at 8 Production Way, Avenel, NJ 07001? Was I wrong that most of NJ's sex offenders end up there? Maybe you think sex offenders are bared from PC (Protective Custody)? Or maybe you do not believe that non-sex offenders commit sex crimes?

    I provided a single example -in loo of data- after asking for data. Your response was to treat me as if I either committed those atrocities or endorse them. The rebuttal is that I was not there and think that what those inmates did was also a crime. But I do not try to pretend it doesn't happen.
    • -No0ne-

      Just to be crystal clear, nothing I wrote in response to aliencreature should be twisted into the belief that I deny the existence of violence committed against men by women, this would be untrue. I was only responding to his belief that prison rapes are committed by rapists.

      Prison rapes are committed by sex offenders, non-sex offending felons and both male and female staff.

      And: aliencreature responded negatively to the word "justice" in the phrase "prison justice", what he fails to realize is that using the term to describe how the prisoners saw their actions is accurate. If you were to talk to them about what they did that is what they would have called it. The authors questions at the end are meant to evoke both an intellectual and an emotional response from the reader.

      I have seen aliencreature's emotional response. I hope his intellectual one will follow later.

  • nakedalligator
    "Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no..."
    "Sex-IST!"
    "IST!"
  • Nik1hil
    Future social leader right here
    • Haha! I don't think so... But thanks for the vote of confidence! This is important a really important thing to me..

  • Maxemeister
    I like this myTake.

    Look at To Kill A Mockingbird! I think I'd consider what Mayella Ewell did to Tom was downright attempted rape!
  • TheAngryBanana
    offended? offended dam it lady ! I am dam triggered !!!

    Guys you all need to get me to a safe zone now please !!! guys comon !!! : (

    but really noth men and women both got some problems to deal with out there i will admit that but that being said i feel a lot more of the hard core feminist groups need to shut th ehell up for 10 mins and release their total domination my way or the high way mentality on situations so some of us can sit down like dam sensible and logical adults and maybe talk about some of the problems in a logical manner.

    not an objective truth but simply my opinion in the matter in general with these kinda stuff.

    p. s trigger warnig : P
  • Doffydood
    A well written take, well done! :)
  • ThatBritishLad
    Pretty short. Less scrolling. This pleases me.
  • clampfan101
    I have never ever been sexist! D:
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