Society & Politics

Maturity vs. Experience

Maturity vs. Experience


I have been around a very diverse group of people in my life, from the heights of staggering wealth to the depths of depressing poverty, and everywhere in between. I have roomed with potheads, hookers, drunks, and thieves; I have lived with people who run small, grass-root non-profit organizations, students in college who spend their free time helping others, youth group leaders, and little-league coaches who love their job and the kids they coach. I know people, in general, and I have many, many experiences with them in my short time here on this rock we call home.


I am many things to many people: I am a dad to a young boy who I have taken under my wing, a boyfriend to an amazing woman who surprises me every day, a student to my professors, a son to my parents, a sibling to my brother and sister, a coworker to my peers at my job and a boss to my employees. I am these and many more things to many more people.


I have experience. I understand things, the way they work and why, and I have seen them from many different angles. One thing I am not, however, and I will not pretend to be, mature. I am still very much a kid. I play video games late into the night; my room is a mess more often than I'd like to admit; I manage my money, but I spend my excess money on frivolous things.


I have come to learn something: experience does not, and never will, equate into maturity. Is a person more likely to be mature if they have been through a lot? Absolutely, but it's not a definite thing. Maturity isn't a state of being, like being old, it's a state of mind that is seen through outward action. A mature person accepts that he or she has problems, and actively works to fix them. A mature person realizes what is acceptable, and what is not.


Maturity vs. Experience


Maturity is not just for those who have seen a lot: I have known people younger than me who act more mature than 50 year old war veterens.


The idea that experience merits maturity is a falsehood. I know people who have lived rough lives that prevent themselves from growing up because they believe themselves to be mature when they are not. The hooker I mentioned before? She was kicked out at 16, had to live on the streets by herself. She sold hard drugs to get by, and, at the age of 17, became a hooker. She got pregnant three times, all of them aborted because her pimp threatened her into it. By all means, she has led a rough, terrible life. For her age, though, she is one of the most childish people I have ever met: She throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way; she is unfaithful in relationships; she continues to use drugs, even though she has children now. She needs help, but she refuses it at every turn unless it is the government check she gets.


Maturity vs. Experience



Maturity is not begotten of experience. Maturity is learned, taught by accepting that you have problems and choosing to make a difference in your life. You, the reader, may not be religious, but I ask you to ponder this prayer if you are looking to be more mature. Members of Alcoholics Anonymous might recognize this, the prayer of serenity: "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." This, I believe, is vital to being more mature: Acceptance of weakness, understanding what can be changed, and taking action to make that change.


I hope anyone who reads this can understand what it takes to start to be more mature. It's a difficult road, one on which I stumble more than I'd care to admit. The goal, however, will be worth it.


Maturity vs. Experience
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