Everyone Needs to Learn How to Socialize Again

[Cat2704]

This virtual insanity that we participate in weekly, daily and hourly: please do not allow it to take over your life.

I've recently noticed that I know more about what the latest Kardashian is up to rather than what what's going on around the world, so when I go to participate in a conversation, I cannot and if I do it's because I've read it or seen a video about it on Facebook. So I ignore the conversation and continue on social media or playing a mind boggling game. Our generation and the generations below us are going to lose the art of conversation. I love the fact that the new Pokemon go app is getting people out and about but rather than taking in the scenery of where they are, they're staring at their phones.

I've seen Beyoncé, Rihanna, take that and endless acts in concert not in person but through my phone because rather than putting your phone away and taking in the vibes, music and atmosphere, you're watching the concert through your phone to show everyone on your Snapchat what you are watching. Just enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I am guilty of all of these previous statements but I want to change. I want people to say good morning to me in person, ask me how my day is at the till point, speak to the person that I'm sitting next to on the train but it's frowned upon now.

I don't understand. My dad comes from a beautiful place called Whitehaven, a tiny town where everyone knows everyone and most of them are shite with technology but everyone says good morning to each other and it honestly brightens your day. Simple human interaction with strangers should not be frowned upon. It's human nature. We check our phones first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Why can't we go back to the time when it was normal to interact with strangers and not be scared or think of them as complete weirdos?

[reixun]

My town says good morning to each other, i hate it. I actually cross the street if I see someone mowing their lawn because I don't want to have to fake smile at them. They still call if across the road.. I don't like greetings like that "good morning" "how are you, good, and you? Great" it bores me. I'm not cut out for small towns 😒

I think the art of conversation is still practiced, people love talking which is why we text when we aren't talking.

[mikemx55]

True, I hate all the greeting stuff... especially with people I never talk anything else besides those greetings. (read my opinion maybe..)

[reixun]

@mikemx55 i agree with you. It's all so insincere.

[Unit1]

Yes, indeed!

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[Tephra]

100% agree with you! When I was younger maybe roughly 11-12 years old I use to play this online social game and was on it for hours and hours, 24/7. And all that time being isolated online, the effects on me were really bad! For one thing - my eyesight is terrible, my grandparents can nearly see out of them! And secondly, as you mentioned I lost my ability to connect and talk to people. I don't know how to hold a conversation or talk to people properly. Use to never be able pick up on social cues, but its a working progress to regaining my social skills. Hard part is I'm very shy and introverted so it will take longer. Getting there! But if I ever have kids one day they will not be having a phone until 14 years old and not getting facebook or whatever social app will come until 18 years of age. Can't repeat the past.

[mikemx55]

How do you know that the games were the cause of it? How do you know that it wasn't just the way you are?
There were already socially "disabled" people before this wave of technology. Sometimes it's just how we are.

[Tephra]

@mikemx55 How did I know? I use to have pristine eye sight before I started playing the game. Over a year my eyes degraded rapidly and I couldn't read the board anymore. I stopped playing once I got my glasses, but I still needed to use the computer for assignments. That's when my yearly check up for my eyesight was due and they put a transparent layer over my glasses to protect my eyes from the computer screen rays. THAT was when my eyesight stopped getting worse (did not get any better) but remained stable.
As for the social side; I've always been introverted my whole life, I could hold a decent conversation but not anymore. And since there were no "social cues" through text I didn't really know what people meant face to face since I lived majority of the time behind a screen, never got out much. I was young back then and didn't know that people were already "socially disabled" which emphasises the point. Some people have other causes but this is mine.

[mikemx55]

I had an acquaintance who was quite extrovert as a kid, but as soon as puberty stricked, she became an introvert person, and more quiet/shy. It also coincided with the boom of the personal computer and electronics, but I don't know if it had direct influence or not.

[renogaza]

I can't claim to agree with it wholeheartedly because i only started to socialize during the beginnings of the telecomms (nokia) age, but websites like friendster definitely put me off (maybe because i didn't play mabinogi? Or maybe a lack of friends to begin with)..

while i do agree that people should start meeting eachother in person again the internet and social media is definitely part of our lives now, social events are a good way to start getting back to basics - like arranging to meet with my guildmates for gw2 or my alliance for eve online in the next E3 in my case :)

[mikemx55]

You know when someone on the street smiles at a stranger for absolute no good reason and others just seem completely puzzled by that? (there's videos about it)

There is a very similar phenomenon with a different trigger. People seem completely puzzled by it, and try by all means to break the flow. They get nervous, anxious, trying to invent something. Trying too hard. They cannot enjoy... SILENCE. Silence bothers people, they can't seem to stand it. I love silence, I wish people could be around me in silence, just chilling.. but not bothering me. Just coexisting in absolute peace. But no, they have to freaking talk. They have to share things, make stupid conversation just to break the magnificent sound of silence.

Seriously, if they don't have anything useful to say, please.. please please... say nothing at all.

[TheButterfly]

Technically we do interact with strangers, just through a different medium. If anyone has heard of Bangor, Pennsyvania hit me up. I grew up there and everyone was up each others asses. I'm introvert. This means that I am NOT shy, but I would rather keep to myself. I still have many friends, but I need to recharge by myself. The fact is you need a healthy balance of both technology and in person interaction. Technology can actually bring people together, it's just all about how you use it. I don't know jack shit about the Kardashians, but I can tell you how polymerase chain reaction works or why being gay is genetic. I generally use technology to relax, entertain, or enrich my mind. I dont know what I would do without it

[NedfromtheNed]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPQ08Sjjq1Y

[Cat2704]

Love that! I wish I had his way with words! That is the exact point I was trying to get across on this take!

[mikemx55]

That only happens in youtube videos...

[mikemx55]

"Stop watching this video, and live life the real way", and then they show the green grass and all that shit, but real life ain't that nice!! It ain't like that!! Real life is SHIT!!!

[Cat2704]

@mikemx55 real life doesn't have to be shit... Life is what you make it and all about your mentality.

[mikemx55]

Exactly: shit

[NedfromtheNed]

@mikemx55
Your lack and inability to make the best out of your circumstances and enjoy life does not constitute some feeling that life is bad in others.

[HauteBrilliance]

I say, keep a balance on your electronic device and actually communicating with people face to face instead of texting. I sometimes like to put videos and pictures on my snapchat, however, I also know when to put it down and just enjoy what's in front of me instead of putting it on social media to brag to my 600 friends on facebook. It's all about balance really.

[Kuraj]

I hate the notion that conversing online is not a real conversation.
The internet allows you to socialize and broaden your horizons like no technology ever did before, it is not it's fault that you use it wrong.

Sure, people 60 years ago in a village somewhere maybe knew each other and greeted each other every morning and talked about how their potatoes are growing.
But they knew fuck all about the rest of the world, or even the nearest village.

[Kuraj]

its* fml

[Cat2704]

I am not saying that conversing online is not a real conversation as I appreciate everyone's opinions on here and I feel it broadens people's minds. The world is changing and as humans we are changing with it. I've begun putting my phone down more often and taking in the surroundings since writing this post, however I just want people to be social again... I'm not saying every town should be like Whitehaven and i think judging a town because they talk to each other or calling them racists is very small minded. My grandparents lived in that town their whole lives, yet travelled the world, interacted, made memories to pass down and yes probably did ask farmer John how his potatoes were doing. Workington is the nearest village and my Nan can let you know anything you need to know about Workington (the next village along) 👍🏼 Peace and Oms Kuraj 😇

[Shpongolia]

I too have noticed that within the last 10 years or more that people have gotten a stronger social phobia out in public places. Especially in waiting rooms, bus stops, airport terminals, lobbies and more. People would rather open up their smart phones than make small talk with the other person they are waiting with.

Back in those days, that's how LOTS of people met their soul mate.

[FatherJack]

Was round your way a few years back , love the St Bees coastline !! Totally agree , too many phone zombies , this is exactly why there are so many posts from men that find women unapproachable , it's because they ARE unapproachable , a phone & earphones will signal..." DO NOT attempt to talk to me "

[the_rake]

yeah, western society needs a heap of literature applied to this specific problem. people just take it for granted that human interaction is easy and you don't need to refine your abilities to engage in it. they're wrong:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a28207-has-conversation-become-a-neglected-art

[Shorty1991]

I agree, everywhere you go people are constantly glued to their mobile phones. Too wrapped up in the virtual world rather than focusing on conversing, laughing and joking with family and friends or meeting new people. Normally those kind of people end up as hermits.

[martyfellow]

At least in England people question or devotion to technology. Here in the US there's almost no questioning the domination of media in our lives. People also forgot how to read and thin, not just how to interact with others.

[BigBallerSodaPop]

I don't watch television. I don't even have one.

[reixun]

Tv is becoming less and less popular in favor of the internet.

[BigBallerSodaPop]

@reixun that's good. What do people do on the Internet?

[reixun]

@BigBallerSodaPop It's a vast place so... Who knows 😯

[BigBallerSodaPop]

@reixun it's only vast if you spend your time looking at it. Which you would have to start with a search engine, right?

[FatherJack]

@BigBallerSodaPop Neither do I , turned the TV into a monitor instead. TV is utter BS !!

[fuqthegovt]

I say put every one's brain in a virtual world. Who cares about conversation or the real world when it's unnecessary? I'm proof of that, I haven't talked to anyone face-to-face (other than when giving the receptionist my rent once a month) in 10+ years.

[apple24]

well why don't you try to talk to random strangers. Funny how you want the world to change yet you do nothing about it.

[Cat2704]

I do talk to random strangers as I'm an outgoing and bubbly person however the point I'm trying to get across is that people do not feel the need to interact anymore face to face. I do want the world to change, I want all of this violence and hate that we are experiencing to stop. Just voicing my opinion as I'm sure you do on your page and I get that you may not agree, that's life. Have a wonderful week 👍🏼

[Mesonfielde]

People don't socialize with strangers because they don't want to. And as people don't want to, it's frown upon if you do.

That's all there is to it, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Yes! Socialization needs to be taught in America. I was already an awkward child before technology became a huge thing but I can't but envy those who are less awkward and can socialze appropriately but instead choose to keep their eyes glued on their phones. Especially since Iam a philadelphia native and everyone here in Philly is RUDE & BITTER and IT SUCKS!

[Anonymous]

TBH, it's mostly girls that need to learn how to socialize. It's easy to just sit there, look pretty and have guys do all the work.

[Unit1]

This!

[KenM9215]

this is socialization, just in a different form.

[reixun]

True, I feel satisfied talking to people here just like in real life.

[Anonymous]

I don't care about celebrities, but I also still don't care about socializing. There's no point.

[coachTanthony]

I am too busy playing Pokemon Go. Please. HA