A Girls' Guide to Staying Safe at Night

justagirl5

It's honestly a shame that I have to write this MyTake. Guys should know when, where, and how it's appropriate to hit on a girl, as well as recognize the signs that a girl does not want to be hit on (i.e. one-word answers, no eye contact, no flirting back). Girls shouldn't have to fear being assaulted or raped while walking alone at night.

But unfortunately, chivalry is dead and what's ideal isn't reality. Here's some tips for keeping yourself safe at night.

To avoid/escape a situation where you're being hit on...

1. Bring a guy friend (or boyfriend) or a large dog along with you.


Before my guy friend moved, I'd ask him to come with me if I had to walk somewhere at night. Creeps usually won't wander up to girls if they're with a guy. As for large dogs...well, my 90 pound dog isn't afraid to growl at people he sees as a threat to me. And let's be honest, no creeps are going to come near a girl if they're walking a large dog that looks like he could bite their hand off.

2. Walk in a group.


This is similar to the first point, but this time I'm talking about walking in a group of girls. This should really only be done if no guys are available, but being with two to three other girls usually works to deter creepy guys...unless you get one that hits on all of you, but that's not common.

A Girls' Guide to Staying Safe at Night

3. Talk on the phone (even if you have to pretend).

I've used this method before, too. One time, I was at a city bus stop in the dark and a creepy guy decided to try to flirt with me. I took my phone, pretended to answer it, and pretended to have a conversation until the bus came.

A Girls' Guide to Staying Safe at Night

4. Keep moving.


The other night, a drunk guy said to me, "Hey baby, your hair is beautiful." I walked as fast as I could to my door. If you pretend you don't hear creepy guys and keep just moving, they might not bother you further. Of course, if this doesn't work, try talking on the phone.

5. Listen to music.


The rule of thumb is that when someone had headphones in, you don't talk to them. This doesn't work as well for me as talking on the phone does, but it does minimize problems.

6. "I have a boyfriend."


I've used this one, too. If a creep tries to flirt with you, either say, "I have a boyfriend," or, "My boyfriend wouldn't like that." If they persist, say you're going to call your boyfriend. You could call either your actual boyfriend (if you have one), a guy friend, or even your dad and tell them what's happening. The fact that you actually called another guy will deter the creepy guys, as they'll realize that they have competition.

If a guy tries to touch/attack you...

1. Pepper spray.


This will sting his eyes long enough for you to escape and call the cops.

A Girls' Guide to Staying Safe at Night

2. Kick him where it hurts.


Chances are, he's going to grab your arms and even try to cover your mouth (if he's trying to rape you). Assuming your legs are free, kick him where it hurts, and kick him hard. He'll 1) be too sore to even want to rape you, and 2) be too disoriented to keep a grip on you.

3. Scream and call 911.


If you EVER feel physically threatened by a guy, scream or yell. Touching a girl and making her uncomfortable is NEVER okay, and don't be afraid to cause a scene about it. Call 911, especially if he begs you not to.

If you see another girl in a bad situation...

1. Intervene.


Go up to her, pretend to know her, and tell her you want to go grab dinner or have a girl's night. Walk away with her. (Guys, you can do this too, but be warned that even if you have good intentions, she might still be a bit wary considering her current situation. But some girls are able to recognize a genuinely good guy.)

2. Call 911.


Once, I saw a guy chasing after a girl and I called the cops. I didn't know the full situation, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

A Girls' Guide to Staying Safe at Night
A Girls' Guide to Staying Safe at Night
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Most Helpful Girl

  • btbc92
    I would like to point out that what you're doing is well intended. BUT. I have to correct a few points. "chivalry is dead..." Is not true at all with the right kind of guys who were raised to treat a woman with respect, and is not a victim of feminism. But this should not just apply to at night, but in broad day light.

    1. "Bring a guy friend (or boyfriend) or a large dog along with you." I hate to say that in today's world. This is not the reality. If the person is harassing you were in a gang and can literally kill or beat your male companion or dog, and you can fight for your life -- you're unprotected. And if they are familiar with dogs behavior, they can easily over power them. So unless you have dogs like my St Bernards. Or dogs who is trained to defend and attack, on command. You're all screwed.

    2. Walk in a group. This may or may not work. Especially when your in a group of girls. That is not enough. Because what if the odds are stacked against all of you? And their male? Never put your full trust in female company either. Because even a female will betray their own gender for the guy to hurt the other. And actually this can be pretty common in cities like NYC as an example. Had this happened before.

    3. Talk on the phone (even if you have to pretend). Except to watch for your surroundings at ALL times.

    4. Keep moving. Usually this does work. But its best to remember where this is being taken place and always pay attention what they look like. Take in their features as well. If they drive a car, their license plate number. Because some people don't get the picture. Thus 911 is needed.

    5. "Listen to music." This is NOT safe, because you may not hear your surrounding. They know your listening to music. Therefore it makes them to ambush you easily. So unless your nearly 100% intuitive and can sense your surrounding and danger very quickly, your taking chances with your life even when the music is low.

    6. "I have a boyfriend." Unless they SEE you with a boyfriend/potential guy. This would not work on very well observant and manipulative men. They KNOW you have a boyfriend. And they don't care. He's not around to protect you right then. That's what they do know. And will take advantage of.

    Now as far as prevention:

    1. Pepper spray. Not quite reliable if its against the law of your state of country to possess one. And if the offender is prepared, this may not work on him.
    Is this still revelant?
    • btbc92

      2. "Kick him where it hurts." Practice, practice, practice. You better make sure you have a strong kick. Because remember that a man's penis is also a muscle. Therefore with the right diet and exercise, he can build that part up to rarely feel anything. That is why I suggest being prepared to fight hands on. Or just street fight if you have to. If you don't, Learn self-defense.

      3. Scream and call 911. Don't just scream and call the cops. RUN.

    • Kanunu

      For prevention point 2. Isn't the primary goal to hit the guy in the scrotum? Then why would it matter how muscular the guy's penis is? The scrotum will always remain weak and vulnerable and one well placed swift kick will leave any man in a heap on the ground. So it's definitely important to practice to make sure your hitting the guy in his scrotum and not his penis. My advice girls, practice and kick hard. It might be possible I misinterpreted what you meant, so apologies in advance if I did.

    • btbc92

      @Kanunu

      Men who are body builders work on that main weakness. Never underestimate a man who knows his own weaknesses.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • BlueCoyote
    A lot of these things are true for guys as well I would say. I am myself disabled and thus at an inherent disadvantage when it comes to self-defense, similar to most women. One thing I learned to be very effective is to simply ignore annoying dudes. Many people think that being outside alone at night is dangerous but the statistical truth is that it's usually just scary (you're far more likely to be hurt or raped by close family members or relatives than by random strangers). So an easy way to get rid of "creepy guys" is to simply ignore them. I remember such an experience in Tokyo, where I once walked through the nightclub neighborhood (Roppongi) at night. Some pretty weird/creepy Nigerian guy started talking to me as I was waiting for my friend. From the travel guide I knew they do this quite a lot with young tourists because they want to get them into some seedy club where they're gonna rip them off. I first said "no" and "I'm not interested" but he kept talking to me, saying I just come along and lightly pulling my arm. From this moment, I decided to act as though he didn't even exist. I didn't answer anymore, I didn't look at him, I didn't even try to pull away my arm. After a few minutes, he got annoyed about my lack of response and walked away. I still think that's a pretty good way of handling uncomfortable situations when you're in an inferior position. Don't react to people's provocation. Instead, bore them out of their mind. They will quickly lose interest.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1442
  • Relentless_Hippie
    I never go anywhere by myself. I almost always have my boyfriend, my dad or my brother with me. I don't go out at night, I think it's too dangerous. If I'm working late I have a male coworker or my boyfriend walk me to my car. When my boyfriend isn't available my guy friend who walks me is a really big man. He's 6'5" and really beefy so he's a great deterrent.

    If I have to walk by myself I always have pepper spray clutched in my hands and my bag tucked very close to me under my arm. Almost as if I'm hiding it. I also wear my work hat and put on my boyfriend's big hoody (it makes me look like a guy). I never stop moving, I walk really fast, and I'm always checking behind me and around, being aware of my surroundings. I check under my car, and as soon as I get in I shut the door and lock my car.

    I leave as soon as I can, never sitting there for too long. It might seem paranoid but I'm a very small person. I understand that the reality is, the world isn't a safe place and anything can happen at any point. I'm hoping to one day get a knife or a gun as well.
  • LogicBomber
    SERIOUSLY.
    "It's honestly a shame that I have to write this MyTake."
    You DON'T... A male is more likely to be attacked at night walking the street than a female is. Your fear mongering feminist bullshit needs to stop.

    "Guys should know when, where, and how it's appropriate to hit on a girl, as well as recognize the signs that a girl does not want to be hit on"
    99% of guys DO. FFS.

    "Girls shouldn't have to fear being assaulted or raped while walking alone at night."
    You are right, they shouldn't... but bullshit feminist fear mongering makes weak minded females fear a monster that doesn't exist. SO if you are a paranoid fool who believes "all men are monsters" then the only thing you are afraid of is your imagination.

    https://www.victimsweek.gc.ca/res/r512.html (GOVERNMENT WEBSITE)
    (These are the same for most western countries)

    Please stop blindly believing your feminist echo chamber.
    If your sources are ANY place sourced by feminist lies... they are NOT valid!
    • juliaanita

      Yes ladies. It's not valid to be concerned about our safety.

    • @juliaanita Wow, Strawman that is NOT what I said.
      It's fine to be concerned with safety... but being a paranoid schizophrenic is just ridiculous.
      I lock my doors at night, because crime does happen and it's a good idea to TAKE PRECAUTIONS.
      But I don't sit up all night worried about the boogie man coming out of my closet because I have been feed stories about monsters from other people and believe them without proof!

      Being afraid of ALL men because there are a marginal number that do something bad, is ludicrous.
      If males did that we would have to jump off elevators when a female got on, because "some women falsely accuse men of shit".

    • juliaanita

      yep. Alright. Agreed. Sorry to be strident.

      there is elevated woman bashing on this site lately. I suppose I just kneejerk

  • SovereignessofVamps
    I love the phone idea, and FYI men get attacked and are crime victims, way more often than women do and are. And most rapists are people you've met b4, if I'm remembering correctly. I don't usually walk alone at night, but I'd feel fine if I did...

    I have people in my family who live in really, really bad areas and they and their little kids do way worse than walking alone at night and they're all fine. Most or even all of their abuse is from family and friends.
    • Actually, I could have read also that msot violent crimes are committed by people the victims knew, not just for rape.

    • *Well fine when it comes to strangers, anyway. They do things like let their young, like first grade age kids walk alone at night and visit people's houses and apartments alone. Their kids come back home at night... and the really awful stuff like abuse came from the family or from mom's bf/dad's girlfriend, or even their own parents.

    • FatherJack

      That's true , men are actually FAR more likely to be attacked.. normally lone men , by groups of cowardly " men " . It is against the nature of the vast majority of men to attack a woman.

    • Show All
  • lumos
    Good take and very important points, although I have to really disagree with listening to music.
    "The rule of thumb is that when someone had headphones in, you don't talk to them."
    I don't think a rapist, a murderer or a thief is going to stop and think "oh shit that person is wearing headphones, better not attack them because they clearly don't want to". Actually, the three types of people mentioned above are probably MORE likely to attack you if they see you're listening to music or something, because they could easily use it to their advantage and sneak up on you without you hearing them.
    So if you're listening to music just to avoid having strangers talk to you, you might as well not. In the end you're much safer when you can actually hear what's going on around you, and if you don't want people to hit on you or try to talk to you, the best thing you can do is just ignore them and walk away.
    I could only see this working on public transport where there are other people around you and you're stuck, like you can't just walk away. But when you're out in public? Don't listen to music at night. It will not make you more safe.
    • justagirl5

      Yes the music I use on the bus or train when I can't escape. I don't use it otherwise

  • RationalMale
    Actually talking on your cellphone like that is a really stupid idea. If you are in a situation where you could be facing danger, don't talk on your phone or pretend to be talking on your phone. You should be paying attention to your surroundings, and yes, you should be noticing the people around you who could be threats. If someone is going to rob you or attack you, acting like you are sucked into your phone and don't even notice them will NOT help you.
    • lumos

      Ehh it's like 50/50. A lot of people would feel discouraged from attacking someone on their phone because the person on the other end counts as a witness and could quickly do something about the situation, like call 911, especially if they happen to know where the other person is walking.

    • @lumos if you are trying to avoid a guy giving you pick up lines, chat on your phone. If you are conxered about Safety, stay off the phone and focus.

  • martyfellow
    I'd go for the electric shock gizmos. A lot of girls carry these. They will disable even a large guy right away without doing him any permanent injury.

    Kicking him where it hurts isn't a sure thing. If you miss, you have an angry person coming at you who's probably a lot stronger than you. So don't do that unless you are desperate. The electric shock is a better self defense tool.

    Going into a restaurant or other place of business is a pretty safe way to escape any pursuer.

    I would add, NEVER get into a car with any guy you don't totally trust. So many rapes result from dates in this way. Once you're in a car, it's tough to escape a guy..

    The big majority of rapes involve people you know. Usually 'date' rapes.

    The media plays up unknown predators but actually these are rare.
  • Chloe_Paige
    Even though I'm only 14 this has happened to me. An older guy (30+) came up to me and started commenting about my body and the way I was dressed. Luckily one of my guy friends was there and he told the guy to "f*** off". After we were away from the guy I told my friend thanks. Things probably would have been worse if he hadn't have been there.
  • Righttobeararms83
    Good points. Too many women these days say that telling women to be careful is victim blaming. Just because its never your fault doesn't mean being on the moral high ground will armour you against attack. My wife conceal carries and has taken self defense training and handgun training.
  • vishna
    These are great idea, and I think it's important women know how to better avoid harm. However, I would hope women don't listen to music at night because then you can't hear what's going on around you, a rustle in the bushes, a stranger behind you worse, they might think you can't hear them sneak up.
  • If you live in America, buy a gun. All problems solved instantly.
    • justagirl5

      If I could get over being afraid of guns and learn how to use one, I totall would

  • Loveherbut
    I used to think that talking in the phone is good idea until my female friend was doing it and the guys stalked her to the train station and asked if the phone is new wtf this world is fucked up as long as women dont have peace walking we dont live in a good world this is so messed up
  • NerdKing16
    Smiles are toxic, don't fall for a charming guy but watch for positive signs from them: Help you find your friends, back off when you say no, or offer to walk you home (not ask to go back to their place)
  • natjo
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  • CheerGirl38139
    well done.

    Staying in groups and ALWAYS being aware of your surroundings is the best advice.

    You also should have a designated sober person. Before Uber, that used to be the DD. Now, everyone can get shit faced and stop paying attention.
  • blutwolfe
    lol first thing when I saw the word "creeps" I thought of nice guys, I'm sure some are genuine creeps though

    half these scenarios seem to be nice guys trying to say hello but come off as awkward

    feel like stuff like this deters actually good guys from talking to girls, because they're scared they're creeps
    • lumos

      I'm sorry but you'd have to be socially inept to think it's a good idea to approach a stranger who's walking alone in the middle of the night.

  • goldfinch23
    All these things can work unless you are in Germany, on New Years Eve and outside. Then all this mytake is useless, because you'll end up surrounded by hundreds of men and police just watching.
    • FatherJack

      The police are ordered to protect the " refugees " ... ALL fit , military age MEN !!

  • Blanchmess
    Great take!

    But never listen to music.. instead talk to someone on the phone.. but still be very aware of the surronding :)
  • CisScum
    The MOST important one on the list is if you're at a party or going outside of a club or anywhere at night, try to travel in a group or try to stay in a public area. Rapists and creeps try to find isolated people, they rarely or probably never bother people in groups.
  • JohnDoeJr
    totally disagree with "listen to music" it may stop some guy from trying to talk to you, but it'll work to your disadvantage for someone who actually wants to rape you. Instead be vigilant and aware of your surroundings. try to use public roads.
  • Words_and_Wisdom
    " Guys should know when, where, and how it's appropriate to hit on a girl, as well as recognize the signs that a girl does not want to be hit on (i. e. one-word answers, no eye contact, no flirting back)."

    Which is why women really need to learn to approach and hit on guys instead.
  • Mrwoo99
    See what I mean by women promoting rape culture across America by scaring women to stay way from men
  • jacquesvol
    You're safer at night in a park or in an empty street than in a dance hall or at a party with mostly drunk college guys.
  • Djaaaaay
    Being a (offensive) arts instructor, #2 is not ever your best choice to subdue. Many uncanny reasons why. Seems as (defense ) instructors fail to be honest to women about this subject. Just saying...
  • zagor
    Your post serves a double purpose - it is also a good post (1-6, specifically) on "How to avoid meeting guys".

    Except for the dog part - I love dogs.
  • mermaidrocketship
    Never wear headphones. You could get attacked. They make you an easier target.
  • meatballs21
    3. That might work, or it might get you mugged for your phone.

    5. Headphones in but no music, so you can hear what's going on around you.
  • kickme
    Guys should know when, where, and how it's appropriate to hit on a girl
    I think free speech is still free speech and you can disengage at any time.

    Please get off your feminist soap box.

  • headmaster
    walk in group - good
    walking with headphones in ears - very bad. one must be aware of surrounds and able to hear if someone might be coming up behind you.
    talking on phone - so so - takes your attention away from paying attention to your surroundings.
    if you think you are being followed don't go straight home, then they will know where you live. go to public place - store. see if they follow - could ask clerk to call police.
    at home shred any papers with name address etc on it before tossing it.
    some rapist go so far as to track your trash so they pick up on your cycle. take your feminine hygiene disposable to a trash recepticle not associated with where you live.
    if living on a 1st floor keep windows locked - there are ways to lock them open a bit.
    use shades or drapes at night - blinds have gaps that one can look through to see what you are doing.
  • Gommers
    Get a fucking concealed carry if you're this fucking terrified of going outside. Christ, that's why we have these laws.
  • FallOutBoy2001
    My buddy, who's a small guy, carries a knife with him
    • Why does he carries a knife with him? He feels larger men will try and rape him?

    • @notsoromantic he's been attacked and mugged before

  • jakebrake7
    So approaching a girl at night is a bad idea? What if she/he is the One? What if it's your prince charming looking for his princess?
  • castratedwhiteguy
    Good points except for #5 listening to music. That could very easily get you raped. Serial rapists target women who are preoccupied.
  • Fathoms77
    A very sad commentary that this is even necessary. But I know it is. :(
  • Tarvold
    Vote for someone who will do something about education and violence and crime in your community.
  • FatherJack
    Contrary to popular belief , " media " BS & especially feminist propaganda , it is the instinct of the vast majority of men to protect , NOT harm a woman. I agree you need to keep your guard up to at least some degree , but men are over 20 times more likely to be physically attacked , normally by groups of other , cowardly " men " . The music / being on the phone are not good ideas , anyone with a clear intent to violate you , WILL do so regardless , also pepper spay is illegal for civilians in most European countries. Some good points , however , you can't beat safety in numbers.
  • AlwaysBelieving
    Good take. Too bad women have to be reminded of this
  • red324
    This should be named keeping guys from hitting on you, but i'll answer anyways. One thing I frequently see is girls who are in their own little world, and have no idea of their surroundings. IE walking in the parking lot at night talking on the phone or staring at a tube of lipstick in the middle of the isle for 10 seconds at the grocery store not even realizing I'm trying to get by you. (This happened) I shouldn't have to say ummm excuse me, you should be using all that extra peripheral vision you ladies have.
  • PiuBravoRagazzo
    @ElissaDido we just talked about this
    Please be careful ❤️❤️❤️
  • Dred1614returns
    Talking on the phone and listening to music are incredibly stupid ideas. If I was going to attack a woman, I'd look for one with headphones in so she wouldn't hear me coming, or one that's glued to her phone so her guard is down.
    Mace isn't the best weapon either. I'd suggest a gun, but if that gets taken away from you, you're done. Maybe a knife, or one of these self defense key chains:
    www.selfdefensesupply.com/.../dgpp.jpg
    Put your fingers in the eyes and punch with the ears out.
  • drummerdude25
    7) Hang out with drummerdude25... 😆
  • Saoirse_Nua
    Lots of good advice there
  • Love_Is_Eternal
    Tell women to stop dressing like sluts.
  • Adigelunar
    thanks for your advice
  • MissSakura
    great one
  • Anonymous
    Well that's depressing to read
  • Anonymous
    If i'm alone on the street at night I feel unsafe enough as a 6 foot + guy never mind a woman.
    I had this one time in a major city i went to an event and forgot where I had parked so had to try to retrace my steps and ask strangers and bouncers for directions I found it after an hour or so but I was pretty scared and I can't imagine what that would be like as a woman?
  • Anonymous
    This is always a much needed take. I would however say talking in the cell phone, and earbuds in are a bad idea. The goal if you are alone at night is to stay alert and be aware of your surroundings. You can't do that with music in or even fake cell phone talking. In fact, a thief at night, may view your cell phone as an easy grab. If you have to walk alone at night carry something like an umbrella/stick/something you can potentially strike with, and carry the least amount of stuff with you, like put your cell and a few other items in your pocket or a waist belt to avoid carrying a purse
  • Anonymous
    Why do I get the feeling this is in response to the "Pussy grabbing Trumpsters" like myself?
  • Anonymous
    B-but pepper spray is illegal!

    Anyway, good advice; just remember to stay very aware of everything when you're doing the phone thing and don't focus all your attention on the fake conversation.
    • justagirl5

      It's not illegal where I'm from, but it is in some states

    • Anonymous

      Huh, okay then.

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