An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected," ~ G.K. Chesterton.

From the the former's insistence upon gender neutral pronouns to the latter's opposition to marijuana, you are both about the stupidest bunch of individuals I have ever encountered. Granted, I still think that our parties are more sensible than in places like the United Kingdom and Canada, but even so, they are still about the most harmful and parasitic institutions in our country. Tearing away at the very fabric of our republic itself, taking turns as they lead our country further into ruin - these two tyrants have been at the forefront of our country's destruction for almost the past 200 years now. And frankly they have overstayed their welcome. The day both parties die will be the day our country can finally breathe a sigh of relief as the third parties take the wheel after waiting for so long.

Starting with the liberals,

You are a Bunch of Self-Righteous Posers!

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

It was never about 'tolerance' nor was it about 'diversity,' let alone social justice and 'progress' in the true sense of the word. Leaving aside your blatant double standards and total hypocrisy for the moment, when have you ever actually challenged the preexisting social order? Because apart from a few superficial battles waged in the name of political correctness - gender neutral pronouns, micro aggressions and all that bullshit - the very fabric of American society is still the same. Not even the Civil Rights Movement and Sexual Revolution were as "revolutionary" as you would like to think. Minorities always existed in the United States, as did promiscuity although it was brushed under the rug. Both of these movements merely garnered wider recognition for the preexisting social order, but in no way did they actually change or overthrow it in the true sense.

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

The same can be said about your odd sexual fetish for Islam and homosexuality. There are always going to be gay people, and likewise there are always going to be Muslims. And I'm sorry, but did you really think that mixing homosexuality with the barbaric death cult that is ontologically opposed to their very existence was going to end well? Not all differences can be brushed under the rug so easily. The power of ideology cannot be ignored. The inevitable tension that arises when the two collide is always going to be a problem in a diverse and multicultural society. This is precisely why these differences need to be addressed, so that we can prevent disasters like this from happening:

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

I mean, even I could have saw this coming from a mile away. You cannot force our differences together in the sludge of State-enforced conformity and then expect for there to not be tragedies like Orlando. Islam and homosexuality was a powder keg waiting to go off. It did not take a rocket scientist to see that. But no, you liberals were so fucking retarded that you feigned blindness for the sake of the political correctness, and look where that got you: fifty innocent LGBT people DEAD!

Their blood is on your hands. Orlando was your fault.

Thus in that regard, you 'liberals' - if you even deserve to be called such - are not much different from American conservatives. Both of you accept the same preexisting social order. Neither are truly concerned with 'progress' or changing said social order. It is merely a difference in attitude.

So please, step aside and let the real Slim Shady stand up.

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

Meet the late great Christopher Hitchens (1949-2011), renowned atheist whose liberalism truly embodied the ideals of the classical left. This was a man who - for better or for worse - grasped the true difference between liberalism and conservatism, and in all regards chose the former. He saw that the difference went beyond politics - that it was a case of two competing metaphysical worldviews that would never be reconciled with one another. That of tradition, God, and authority with that of progress, Man, and liberty. Hitchens was beyond political correctness. He was beyond your petty SJW brigade. He saw that there was not room in the West for both ideologies, that coexistence between true liberalism and conservatism was impossible - one would have to go. He knew full well that the vision of liberalism entailed violence, revolution, and streets soaked with blood, that there could be no traces of authority, hierarchical structures, or tradition. And it was a vision he was willing to embrace until his dying day, even after a long and agonizing battle with cancer.

So to all you posers and fake American liberal wannabes: fuck you.

Moving onto the conservatives,

Quit Pretending to be Something You are Not!

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

It was never about 'authority' nor was it about family values, let alone God and 'tradition' in the true sense of the word. For fuck's sake, that Protestantism you adhere to so much was founded upon divorce, rebellion, and innovation. It has no connection with historic Christianity or its Greco-Roman legacy like Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy. How many of you proto-atheists even know who the Cappadocian Fathers are or what the seven Ecumenical Councils were about? Leaving aside your blatant double standards and total hypocrisy for the moment, when have you ever actually affirmed the value of family, God, and tradition? Because apart from a few superficial battles waged in the name of American puritanical culture - censoring nipples, keeping marijuana illegal and all that bullshit - the very fabric of our society is still the same: that is, incredibly liberal.

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

The same can be said about those founding fathers whom you revere so much, the majority of whom were classical liberals that held a neutral view of religion at best. Even the Constitution itself - that fabled, 300 year old document that you liken to scripture as if it were inspired by God Himself - was/is rooted in the secular ideals of the European Enlightenment, making it about as liberal as it gets. That said, I hate to burst your bubble, but anyone still stupid enough to believe that the United States is - or was at any point in time - a 'Christian nation' would do well to google the 'Jefferson Bible' for a more accurate assessment of how our founding fathers felt about religion and particularly Christianity.

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

So please excuse me for being a pretentious dick, but you morons are just so fucking fun to troll that it is not even funny. Gangster rappers have been doing it since 1988. Sports Illustrated has been doing it with their swimsuit issue since 1964. It was N.W.A and then it was Marilyn Manson. It was Cosmopolitan with "SEXY SEXALICIOUS SEX" plastered on the cover and it was Kate Upton's massive breasts. The "War on Christmas" is a favorite of mine. Tell me how blasphemous I am for replacing "Christ" with "X" even though "X" is actually the Greek initial for "Christ" and has been inscribed over my Church's icons for centuries now. But I digress, did you really think that there was ever anything even remotely 'conservative' about the nation that was founded upon the rebellion against a traditional European monarchy? I guess we'll just pretend that Romans 13:1-7 does not apply, and that sex before marriage is somehow justified if you are in a "serious" relationship.

Conservatism in the true sense does not even exist in America.

Thus in that regard, you 'conservatives' - if you even deserve to be called such - are not much different at all from your American liberal counterparts. You both accept the same preexisting social order - one that has nothing to do at all with family, God, and tradition. The only difference is that the former are a bit more aware of this fact while you remain in denial. Their fault is in doing nothing to change it. Your fault is in refusing to accept it for what it is: the product of liberalism.

So quit jerking off to the Constitution and behold what true conservatism looks like,

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

Meet his majesty King George III (1738-1820), European monarch whom the American colonists rebelled against and whose office symbolized everything that true conservatism stands for - family, God, and tradition. So frankly, if you value conservatism in the true sense, then the first thing you can do is take that Constitution you revere so much and use it as toilet paper. Because as it is, there is nothing even remotely conservative about America. Until then, you are just blaming nipples, marijuana, and gay people for your weird puritanical hangups.

In Conclusion,

To all you hypocritical, self-righteous American liberals,

Behold the flag, heterosexuality, and whiteness

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

To all you puritanical American conservatives pretending to be something you are not,

Behold boobies, marijuana, and gay pride.

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

Are the two of you offended? Good. Because I want to offend you.

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons

*Mic drop*

An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Waffles731
    I gotta say this rant was epic.
    on the grid, I'm a left libertarian, so both of them suck.
    I find most policies of the republicans terrible and while some of the democrats policies are good.
    Some of them are terrrible, Gun Control, etc.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Waffles731

      I don't even consider these SJW's liberals,
      They are trying to be liberals but come off as authoritarian

Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    1) you must be fun at parties OP
    2) the reason why you can't get laid is because you call breasts "boobies"
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

    looks like parsley
  • Phoenix98
    Lol and you think you have the right to say any of that to us after all the rants, hypocrisy and giant walls of whining and all the breaking down that we've seen from you? Your the guy that claims to be a christian but plans to have sex with a prostitute.

    And if caring about the important issues wanting to preserve conservative values makes me a moron then fine I'm a moron who's adhering to the laws, rules and customs our ancestors died and bled to give us and protect.

    I'm not really offended though you'll have to try much harder, but congrats on wasting 10-15 minutes or more of your life on a useless rant ^^ hope it was worth it you :)
    • Clearly you did not read the Take. My issue with conservatives was the exact opposite: that they are NOT truly affirming the values of family, God, and tradition. Rather, they merely affirm the Constitution which is a modern secular document, and their own weird puritanical hangups. I want a true conservative like King George III, you know, monarchy, patriarchy, a strong Church etc. American 'conservatives' are not really conservative in the slightest degree.

    • Phoenix98

      And who are you someone who falls into that category you so despise to decide that hmm? It's not your place nor your day to say that over millions of people who you do not know at all.

    • King George was a complete asshole who shut down our manufacturing base, choked off the supply of currency coming into the colonies, stationed British troops into the homes of our citizens and basically drove the colonies into an economic depression. That's why we revolted and that's why God was on our side.

    • Show All
  • Rissyanne
    I couldnt get past the title... I was offended. Just because you believe it... doesn't make it so. Why do you feel the need to offend a lot of people? You sound very bitter about something. And why do you think you are right?
    • Because he hasn't been able to fuck and he suddenly wants to have sex with a prostitute XD.

    • Rissyanne

      @MindYourEyes I read about that. But does think having this attitude will help him?

  • castratedwhiteguy
    I agree with you that modern progressive liberalism is satanic evil, and I'll just drop it right there.

    However, you've gone way to far when you attack the integrity of our founding fathers, the moral superiority of our constitution and the moral rightness ( in God's eyes) of the American Revolution. Although I consider myself to be a Christian, I also understand that the Bible was written be many nameless and imperfect men who had an ax to grind at a time when living standards were much different than they are today. That's why I can say fuck sick and outdated Bible passages like Romans 13:1-7 and still call myself a Christian. In fact, the reason why the Jefferson Bible was written was an attempt to flush medieval bullshit out of our religious code. FYI, the Enlightenment was a great stride for the betterment of all mankind and, buy the way, it was very Godly. If the western world were run your way we'd still be living under serfdom and which burning would be an everyday occurrence. You may think that you're a Christian, but your soul has been captured by Satan. You need an exorcism.
  • NexAngelus
    did the first pic not have big enough boobs? im confused.
    and i like how the first 200 years were all destruction. i thought we were the leaders of the world TILL recently. the thing was not make america great for the first time, its was make america great again. but thats cool, it seems u were just doing this to troll everyone on the net anywya.
  • John_Doesnt
    No, we're not morons, just passionate about issues that matter. Those "trivial" things you mentioned are all very important issues and being divided was inevitable. It's no more stupid than Christians being divided with Satanists and Muslims being divided with Jews.
    These issues must be addressed and you can't get mad at people for getting angry or yelling when discussing such sensitive subjects. You've probably been guilty of it yourself on some particular issue.
  • Library
    I'm a liberal and you failed to offend me. Are you offended that I'm not offended? I honestly can't get offended by anything you say cause I can't take anything you say seriously.
  • JudgmentDay
    The only part I paid attention to was the very last part: "Are the two of you offended? Good. Because I want to offend you." and "Fuck you and Good Night".

    Because I thought that last part was hilarious. ROFLMAO!
  • Redstang88
    That was quite a rant, but what the fuck was your point?
    • PT1911

      i think it was OP ranting about relationships and women again

    • Rissyanne

      @PT1911 I wish this dude would just get laid already. It would probably help his personality.

    • PT1911


      I haven't gotten laid yet, but my attitude is completely different than his.

    • Show All
  • Unit1

    I can't believe MyTakes for the purpose of attacking people on the internet get promoted.
    Looks like GAG is not the place it once used to be anymore.
  • LiveFreeorDieHard
    I agree with you. If the American founding fathers were alive today. I'm pretty sure they would be far left as in Bernie sanders type of left not full blown socialism, very big difference.
    • I agree. I would add however that there are a few social issues which I think they would lean more to the Right on; namely, the 2nd Amendment. I've studied the writings and virtually all of them were in favor of an armed populace with loose gun laws. They would utterly detest the Right's fixation on religion and theocracy however, aligning them closer to the Left.

    • Yeah. We should try to bring them back alive and see what they think.

  • Izumiblu
    not really offended, if you want to offend more people maybe try getting your rant down to a few paragraphs.
  • PT1911
    Somehow I knew that you would bring this to sex and relationships.
  • SlightlyCrazy
    Twisting historical framework to fit a argument spouted by someone butter and horribly biased 😱
    How original 🙄
    Come back when your pseudo intellectualism turns into actual fact
  • Fathoms77
    And that's why I am and will always be independent.
  • TrellTheRadical
    Epic. Just... Epic. You just CSX'd their asses...An Open Letter to Liberals & Conservatives in America: You're Morons
  • AleDeEurope
    Said the Christian prostitute-lover... >.>
  • Idonotgivearatsass
    You can offend some of the people all the time, but not all of the people some of the time... or you get someone like me that isn't offended by anything, doesn't do political correctness, and looks at every individual issue from all angles and then applies what ever proper response to that particular issue requires.

    As for mixing Islam and homosexuality, they damned well better get along, at least in this country they have to, whether they like it or not. We will force it down their damned throats like a... well, you can picture what I'm thinking. That's the fucking American way, you could also say the same thing about "honor killings", that we shouldn't have expected them to just not do them when mixed with American values... screw that... you get along or you die, pretty simple method to solve those problems.
  • Robbey
    That was funny thanks for sharing
  • Tarvold
    Now this is an epic rant.

  • Adigelunar
    goood pointt
  • Anonymous
    You offended a lot of punk ass bitches. Good job. lol
  • Anonymous
    Im not an American but seeing all that mess from the side... Mate you are absolutely Right👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍
  • Anonymous
    May I remind you that the 18th century is over since quite a time?
  • Anonymous
    first of all I must say this was quite a rant I just read and second I'm not a liberal nor a conservative but I consider myself to be a republican and I don't support and don't agree with gay marriage
  • Anonymous
    With the election over and done with, America is turning its attention to the transition from President Obama to President Trump. In barely two months, the Donald will take office, ejecting the Democrats’ coterie of corrupt courtiers and beginning his mission to right America’s wrongs. But President Trump can’t do it alone: he needs good, talented people to work under him and carry out the hard work of making America great again.
    That’s where you come in.
    The Trump administration is now soliciting people to apply for jobs for when the man himself takes office in January.
    1. It’ll help keep President Trump accountable
    While the media is lying about Trump reneging on his campaign promises, it’s still a good idea to give the man more reasons to keep his word. By staffing his administration with committed nationalists, we’ll make it easier for President Trump to fulfill his political program, as well as make it more difficult for him to go back on his promises. Remember, it was rank-and-file FBI agents who forced James Comey to reopen the investigation into Hillary Clinton; a leader needs loyal men in order to carry out his agenda.
    2. You’ll be able to make history
    Given the momentous task of rebuilding America after eight years of Obama’s perfidy and failure, you almost have a civic duty to help President Trump in his mission. Expecting America to become great again all on its own is delusional; we need to do our part to restore this nation’s glory. By working with the Trump administration, you’ll have a direct role in reshaping America for years—possibly decades—to come.
    • Anonymous

      3. To Tigger the left
      Despite their massive losses in the election—beyond Hillary Clinton’s defeat, the Democrats now control only a handful of state governments and failed to dent the GOP’s Congressional majority—the leftist mainstream media is trying to order Trump around and persuade him to staff his administration with the same flacks who filled Bush’s and Obama’s. Right now, they’re freaking out over Breitbart executive chairman Stephen Bannon being appointed as Trump’s chief strategist.
      By joining the Trump administration, you’ll have a hand in helping trigger the left into conniption fits and spasms of impotence. Nothing horrifies them more than losing access to the levers of power, which they’ve controlled for decades. Watching leftists squirm and cry is one of the biggest fringe benefits of Trump’s victory, and we need to keep the triggering up for years to come.
      If you think you have the job skills, I highly recommends you apply for a job in Trump’s administration.

    • Anonymous

      Trumo may have started the fire but its up to us on the alt right to keep it burning.