what kind of modern woman can stand to see a man open his heart though? it was experienec that taught men to build a shell around them. as women we have quite many insecurities, and issues of our own today to have the cojones to deal with men's sensitivities as well. it wasn't some magical "patriarchy" that instilled this toxic masculinity but mothers, sisters an girlffriends as well. we all perpetuate it.
The so called macho type guys can hold in their feelings aall that they want to but for others doing so could be worse. Some people if they hold in their feelings long enough turn to alcohol, drugs, self harm, lashing out at others etc. With self harm it could be cutting, burning or hitting oneself, binge-eating or starvation, or repeatedly putting oneself in dangerous situations.
K's Choice - Not An Addict Soul Asylum - Runaway Train Blind Melon - No rain Nine Inch Nails - Hurt
I don't repress my emotions, I was never told that crying is weak. I simply don't cry because I'm not a messed up bag of hormones that gets emotional over the smallest things.
Stop trying to apply your female mind onto men, we are completely different.
Guys tend to bottle it up because society has made them think that crying is only for babies, children and girls. It really is fine for a guy to cry and in the past I've had a few big tough guys break down in front of me because they had to let it out and trust me everyone needs to cry sometimes.
See, this is what I feel like is the problem with a lot of society today. (I'm not judging anybody for their opinions, simply expressing mine.) Guys should be allowed to cry, not forced to reel in all of their feelings. Crying is human nature. You feel down, you cry. You feel happy, you cry. It does not confine to any gender. Men are forced to keep their feelings and load them up until it's unbearable.
this is interesting because i talked about this to my boyfriend. and he felt that we shouldn't assume that men were like us where they should be allowed to cry and be judged. he said thats what make men and women different, and we should just appreciate that.
To me personally, if you don't show that side of affection then to me you are not a real man bc I have learned along the few years and spoke to few girls, you sbould be able to show your feelings. Many females find that somewhat attractive bc he is not being egotistical when he shows that.
Real men know when it's okay to cry. People cry when they have no other way of expressing their hurt. Or when it becomes too much. If you're in pain, or your life is falling apart. If you're stressed or you just feel you need a good cry, it's alright to let it out. I gain respect males who choose to cry in my company. It means they feel safe with me. They trust me. Boys on the other hand, they're boys. They can cry like babies because they still are babies. And that's okay.
My ex boyfriend used to cry over everything and I found that such a turn off, I understand if there is a genuine reason but to turn on the water works over the dumb things like a small argument is so infuriating. In saying this I feel the same way about women who do this, my old roommate was the same.. I'd tell her she needs to clean up after herself then she goes on about how he life is so crap coz he mum died when she was 4... umm I just wanted the dishes washed lol
Men can cry in certain circumstances. Death, extreme sadness. But men should never cry like women... ever. 1st off, most women would lose all respect for their SO if he did cry like a woman. They wouldn't admit it maybe, but somewhere inside, they will feel less safe if he breaks down that easy. 2nd, other men would view him as weak and that isn't good either. I would not want my boys crying at the drop of a hat like women do.
It's a trap, don't fall for it! Barring douchy jock types men are okay with their friends showing emotions, but many women are not (maybe they think they are, but they really aren't when push comes to shove).
It's so damaging to a little boy to hear that he's "acting like a girl" when he cries. This is why we don't recognize depression in men. Because sadness comes out in the form of anger and we're surprised when they commit suicide because they seemed to be "alright" or behave like a typical boy.
Boys are taught to be tough but not only our dads, but our moms too. Now a-days, a boy is told he can show emotion, but yet, if we show too much were considered sissies.
Chicks always think crying is a good thing, but it's not for men.
I've tried it, it don't work!!
I think working through the issues and finding proper channels of support (friends, family, therapist) is needed. Nothing good has come from me balling my eyes out.
When you are scarred enough, you don't cry anymore, you become hardened. The level of misandry that western men are subjected to creates the male we have today. Treat a dog cruelly is will become a mean dog... children are no different.
Maybe it is a stereotype, but if testosterone has something to do with being less emotional, then it isn't a stereotype. You just contradicted your own statement of it being a stereotype! I don't think testosterone is linked with less emotions. It is linked to aggression and motivation, which leaves you no time to be crying and worrying! If you get what I mean. Nice myTake though!
That's kind of weird Asad. I have fairly enough of those T hormones, yet I don't feel aggressive at all (I'm laid back in fact). And I do get emotional at times with tears in my eyes over the fact, that I can't find a good girlfriend.
I believe there is no normal amount of having them T hormones (but a deficit is possible, which i don't have for sure) just like it is with the libido as it's individual.
You're Making it sound like all men should be aggressive. I disagree. I don't feel comfortable or like being myself being aggressive. I'm laid back.
i think it's sad how they are not allowed to cry because of what they have been thought or "think".. it's okay to cry everyone has emotions can't keep it all in...
I think it's ridiculous that society created this stereotype. It's good to show a little emotion. I even think it makes a guy more attractive. OK but bitch please, don't cry 24/7.
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what kind of modern woman can stand to see a man open his heart though? it was experienec that taught men to build a shell around them. as women we have quite many insecurities, and issues of our own today to have the cojones to deal with men's sensitivities as well. it wasn't some magical "patriarchy" that instilled this toxic masculinity but mothers, sisters an girlffriends as well. we all perpetuate it.
The so called macho type guys can hold in their feelings aall that they want to but for others doing so could be worse. Some people if they hold in their feelings long enough turn to alcohol, drugs, self harm, lashing out at others etc. With self harm it could be cutting, burning or hitting oneself, binge-eating or starvation, or repeatedly putting oneself in dangerous situations.
K's Choice - Not An Addict
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
Blind Melon - No rain
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt
Songs like these could become a reality for some.
I don't repress my emotions, I was never told that crying is weak.
I simply don't cry because I'm not a messed up bag of hormones that gets emotional over the smallest things.
Stop trying to apply your female mind onto men, we are completely different.
And if anyone ever told me to stop crying it wasn't the "toxic patriarchal society" but it was the cunt I had for mother.
Guys tend to bottle it up because society has made them think that crying is only for babies, children and girls. It really is fine for a guy to cry and in the past I've had a few big tough guys break down in front of me because they had to let it out and trust me everyone needs to cry sometimes.
See, this is what I feel like is the problem with a lot of society today. (I'm not judging anybody for their opinions, simply expressing mine.) Guys should be allowed to cry, not forced to reel in all of their feelings. Crying is human nature. You feel down, you cry. You feel happy, you cry. It does not confine to any gender. Men are forced to keep their feelings and load them up until it's unbearable.
this is interesting because i talked about this to my boyfriend. and he felt that we shouldn't assume that men were like us where they should be allowed to cry and be judged. he said thats what make men and women different, and we should just appreciate that.
To me personally, if you don't show that side of affection then to me you are not a real man bc I have learned along the few years and spoke to few girls, you sbould be able to show your feelings. Many females find that somewhat attractive bc he is not being egotistical when he shows that.
thank you!
Real men know when it's okay to cry. People cry when they have no other way of expressing their hurt. Or when it becomes too much. If you're in pain, or your life is falling apart. If you're stressed or you just feel you need a good cry, it's alright to let it out. I gain respect males who choose to cry in my company. It means they feel safe with me. They trust me. Boys on the other hand, they're boys. They can cry like babies because they still are babies. And that's okay.
My ex boyfriend used to cry over everything and I found that such a turn off, I understand if there is a genuine reason but to turn on the water works over the dumb things like a small argument is so infuriating. In saying this I feel the same way about women who do this, my old roommate was the same.. I'd tell her she needs to clean up after herself then she goes on about how he life is so crap coz he mum died when she was 4... umm I just wanted the dishes washed lol
Men can cry in certain circumstances. Death, extreme sadness. But men should never cry like women... ever. 1st off, most women would lose all respect for their SO if he did cry like a woman. They wouldn't admit it maybe, but somewhere inside, they will feel less safe if he breaks down that easy. 2nd, other men would view him as weak and that isn't good either. I would not want my boys crying at the drop of a hat like women do.
It's a trap, don't fall for it! Barring douchy jock types men are okay with their friends showing emotions, but many women are not (maybe they think they are, but they really aren't when push comes to shove).
It's so damaging to a little boy to hear that he's "acting like a girl" when he cries. This is why we don't recognize depression in men. Because sadness comes out in the form of anger and we're surprised when they commit suicide because they seemed to be "alright" or behave like a typical boy.
Exactly!
Boys are taught to be tough but not only our dads, but our moms too. Now a-days, a boy is told he can show emotion, but yet, if we show too much were considered sissies.
Chicks always think crying is a good thing, but it's not for men.
I've tried it, it don't work!!
I think working through the issues and finding proper channels of support (friends, family, therapist) is needed. Nothing good has come from me balling my eyes out.
Good take anyway.
When you are scarred enough, you don't cry anymore, you become hardened. The level of misandry that western men are subjected to creates the male we have today. Treat a dog cruelly is will become a mean dog... children are no different.
Maybe it is a stereotype, but if testosterone has something to do with being less emotional, then it isn't a stereotype. You just contradicted your own statement of it being a stereotype! I don't think testosterone is linked with less emotions. It is linked to aggression and motivation, which leaves you no time to be crying and worrying! If you get what I mean. Nice myTake though!
That's kind of weird Asad. I have fairly enough of those T hormones, yet I don't feel aggressive at all (I'm laid back in fact). And I do get emotional at times with tears in my eyes over the fact, that I can't find a good girlfriend.
@Unit1 Then you don't have enough T hormones! And Testosterone isn't the only chemical that is responsible for sex drive!
I don't think so but okay.
@Unit1 I think there is a way to measure your T level. Measure it!
I believe there is no normal amount of having them T hormones (but a deficit is possible, which i don't have for sure) just like it is with the libido as it's individual.
You're Making it sound like all men should be aggressive. I disagree. I don't feel comfortable or like being myself being aggressive. I'm laid back.
@Unit1 Just measure it and find out! You don't have to tell me.
i think it's sad how they are not allowed to cry because of what they have been thought or "think".. it's okay to cry everyone has emotions can't keep it all in...
I think it's ridiculous that society created this stereotype. It's good to show a little emotion. I even think it makes a guy more attractive. OK but bitch please, don't cry 24/7.
Boys should cry and Real men do cry.
How about that?
I like this a lot better!
Boys and men can both cry for different reasons.
How about that?
@Asad1ONE1 That's true also but boys and men should be able to cry about any reason.
Yes that's what I said!
Please stop victimizing men. We couldn't care about petty little shit like this.
If a guy wants to cry he can cry all he wants, no one will judge him.