Girls and Insecurities

fjh80

Girls and Insecurities

LADIES!

You've got to stop buying into these "beauty standards" that you see in movies, magazines, and billboards. Anything you see in print, or really anywhere, are made that way to sell you things. It's not what men want you to do.

If you decide to make yourselves really pretty for you own sake, that's all fine and good, and I don't really have an opinion on that.

If you decide to make yourselves pretty because you think you need to, to attract guys, that's where you need to slow down in your thinking. Don't get me wrong, we definitely appreciate the time you put into looking good, but if you took that out of the equation, little would change.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you stop showering, or brushing your teeth. Like you, we do have SOME basic standards. I'm basically saying, stop starving yourselves. It's dangerous, and it makes you miserable, and when you're miserable, we're miserable.

I'll share 3 things that you need to do, or be to be attractive to men.

1. Be healthy. Don't mix this up with being skinny, or thin.

This goes back to "cave man" days. Men instinctively (or subconsciously) seek out someone who can bear healthy children. This is how our species survives. The same applies to women. At some point we've come to associate that with a narrow waist, and/or wide (or "child bearing") hips.

A healthy female body, will naturally have natural curves, and they don't have to be prominent, or as accentuated as you've been conditioned to believe.

On the flip side, "cave woman" was attracted to the strongest, or the "alpha" male. This meant that a strong male would result in strong offspring. Also, as "cave woman" had to care for "cave baby", she needed a mate that could both produce, and protect cave woman, and cave baby.

This is why men feel like they need to be successful providers, and most men won't feel like men if they don't meet this goal.

2. Be happy, positive, and genuine. I don't really have a cave man theory for this one, it's just attractive. People naturally want to be around positive people. Girls who complain, and judge aren't as attractive. It's a downer.

That's not to say that men don't want to hear about your problems. We like to solve problems, and be useful to you. In a lot of cases, this is why men try to solve your problems when, in so many cases you simply want to vent. It's in no way a fault in men, but to any men reading this... shut up and listen. It goes a long way.

3. Respect yourself. Contrary to popular belief, men do in fact respect women.

Many women can some across like they don't respect themselves, but they'll think, "it's okay because i have all these men chasing me". Well that may be true, but they don't respect you. Remember, men are designed to "go forth and multiply", or... fuck. Yes I'm sure there are acceptions .

If you don't respect yourselves, how can we expect you to respect us, or our potential family. Respecting yourself means, taking care of yourself, not letting just anyone have you. I guess I would say it shows that you're likely to be healthy, and stay that way. Also taking care of yourself, means taking care of us.

Again, this can be flipped. Women want men to take care of themselves, and for the same, or at least similar reasons. If we can't create a safe and secure home, what would that mean for bringing a child into the world?

If a man has to earn your effection, or love, it will be an accomplishment, and he'll be more likely to take care of, and protect it. It will also make him feel like earning you, makes him worthy. A lot of woman, and men, would see this, or call this a "conquest".

This is where it gets a little bit sketchy, as most people will see this is a negative thing. Being a "conquest" or a "prize" can seem like objectification. Men are competative, and the harder they work for something, the more they cherish it, and protect it.

When a man says, "she's mines", he doesn't mean like, "that coffee table is mine". Women are not objects, and men know this. In fact, a lot of women like to hear him say, "she's mine," especially in a protective, and even a possessive sense. (quick side note: i believe that women want their men to be a little possessive, but only to a certain point.)

4. BONUS tip!!

Respect his ego. In today`s society men are constantly demonized for being men. Nearly every aspect of being a man is called toxic. Young boys are constantly told that they`re wrong when they do things that are associated with being masculine.

A simple example is when he opens a door for you. Let him. He`s not stupid, he knows full well that you can open a door for yourself.

Make him feel like life would be a little harder without you. In the past, there were so many things that men could do, that women couldn`t. That`s not the case today, so make him feel needed, and more importantly wanted.

SO!! that`s my essay. I wanted to put more into it, but I`m pressed for time, and who wants to read for hours.

I`m by no means an expert in ANY of this stuff. If anyone asks me to prove it, I simply say, ``go outside and look around``.

I`m simply a man, if a little old fashioned, living life. I see the world for what it is, not what I want it to be.

I believe that feminism has run it`s coarse and has accomplished the vast majority of it`s goals. It should be reguarded as a noble cause that was victorious.

I don`t believe in nonsense like `manspreading`or ``mansplaining`. Other things too, but that`s for another `my take`.

I mainly wrote this because I think that women should hear from a man, or men, that the standards they they set for themselves are too high, and we`re not THAT shallow.

Please, comment, let me know what you think.

Feel free to criticize.

This is all opinion.

fjh80

Girls and Insecurities
17 Opinion