Why women are insecure


You know why so many girls care so much about their weight and how they look, and why so many guys barely care about that at all?..

You know why so many girls are obsessed with fashion and clothes, you know why so many girls put other girls down for how they look...

Because parents raise girls to judge, parents raise little girls to be pretty and feminine, and look good, they raise them to follow models and be like the other girls...they raise them to care about clothing.

While parents raise boys to care less, they raise boys to be masculine and strong and not give a crap about their looks, they raise them to be dominant and free, they raise them with video games and toy cars.

I was raised very much like my brother, I was free to play on the PC, play with toy cars, draw, sing, do whatever I wanted, I didn't stress about clothing and my mum didn't shove it down my throat. I thank her for this, because now I realize that I have become quite a nonjudgmental person and someone that would never give a flying hell about fashion or appearance or my weight or someone else's.

I'm not insecure....I can't say the same about a lot of my friends, constantly everyday, they wear makeup to be like most other girls, they strive to look perfect, they force themselves to look pretty, they cry and freak out, they have so many insecurities. My friend messaged me today saying she had a panic attack over her weight.

This...I hate this.. Cruel girls that were raised horribly constantly rolled their eyes at me and my friends, they always gossiped and put down their own friends too.

My brother, never faced these problems, he was free to wear what he liked, do what he wanted to and didn't have to worry about appearance.

My friends once, very kind and caring usually. I caught them one day talking shit about our friend who wore male deodorant... these kind amazing people, were gossiping and saying horrible things about her, who the FUCK cares if she wears male deodorant, I just despise how much other peoples lives bother other people...

The reason why girls are so insecure is because of society.. While men have issues such as not being allowed to show emotions, cry, and aren't allowed to hit back girls... rarely any of them face the insecurities of weight and the right clothing to wear that will impress their friends...

It sucks........

Why women are insecure

Don't believe anything I said. Their was a news experiment, they had a man wear the same suit 10 days in a row, and no one noticed, no one cared. A woman than wore the same dress 10 days in a row, and she got constant hate mail just on day 2, everyone called her out on it, everyone ridiculed her.

So you know what, with how stupid and ridiculous this fucking bullshit going on with females or whatever, I'm over it, and I will not follow the basic rules of being a "lady," and I hope other women join with me on saying that:

Who cares what you wear

Who cares about your weight

Who cares about your looks

Who cares how you act

And just Who cares...... Its your freaking life!

And if people really care, then they were raised horribly and at least now you can tell which one of your friends is living a lie and will forever be insecure.

Why women are insecure
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Games_
    Guys are just as insecure. We just can't show it in real life. U think when ur rejecting guys and calling them ugly, they dont feel anything and brush it off?

    Nope, that's just guys who get girls easily and guys who aren't as smart.

    Thing is a guy who gets no girls and has no idea wheater his looks are halting him, he will get insecure.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I agree completely but generally this insecurity thing is more related to women as we are raised to look beautiful no matter what and too shun down other girls. While guys usually get away wtih it.

      I would never call a man ugly, I despise when women call men ugly and then get mad when a guy says it to them... I am aware males have feelings too and can feel insecure but I do feel that guys aren't preassured to look good in clothes, or have to wear makeup to fit in with their friends and stuff like that.

      You do experience insecurity in a different way but usually the beauty kind of insecurity is related to women more often than men.

    • Games_

      The reason men aren't really pressured to look good is because they are suppost to be the symbol of strength and like stuff like that. They are suppost to be tough and strong. So ur kinda right about the insecurity thing about men.

      Thing is that part of the reason men dont have a pressure to look good is because they are the ones chasing and most of them are unattractive or just passable on a average

    • Anonymous

      Yes well men that care about strength won't get hated on, women that care about beauty will get hated on if its not perfect.

      But I mean, a girl that cares about strength and not beauty is hated on, a boy that cares about beauty and not strength is hated on. I have seen men beat up other men for being too feminine, and I've seen women bitch about other women for being too masculine.

      Women do it in private because confrontations and fighting is not a "ladylike" thing and women are supposed to be lady like... cause they were raised that way..

Most Helpful Girl

  • Femdomina
    I'm not insecure, I practically don't care about the fashion, I have my own style.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      You me both sister!

    • Femdomina

      Great minds think alike ;)

    • Femdomina

      Thank you for MHO 😎👍

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • hellionthesagereborn
    I find this assumption interesting. See it shows just how little we give a damn about men while simultaneously claiming the opposite. Body image concerns men and women but some research has found it actually concerns men more then women: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

    The difference here is of course, no one gives a damn about what men think while every one cares about women. When women complain they get positive affirmations of their looks and they feel better encouraging an open discussion about their insecurities (insecurities that are completely self inflicted as men generally don't give a damn about it (as has been proven by statistics, rejection rates in dating, and men telling women upfront they do not care (like breast size, no guy cares, the average breast size for a pornstar are C cups, they are also on average brunets with average looks))). Meanwhile if a man speaks up he will be ridiculed by both men but especially by women (women abhor weakness in men).

    This is also why we have the "fat acceptance/body positive" movement. . . for women only. Your not hearing women saying how its okay for men to be short (far from it, women will reject men if they are average height or below), or for men being fat or unattractive even as they complain about standards placed on them. This is simply not a thing women experience except when women are busy tearing down other women.

    So while I appreciate yet another take telling women they shouldn't have standards, they should be able to never be criticized for anything, ever, and how easy men have it (by a woman who has no idea what its like to be a man and doesn't even have data to at least validate her views), I'm going to have to disagree. we all get held to a standard, just because your allowed to talk about yours (and again, its entirely self inflicted (seriously, I don't understand why women act as if its men who are ridiculing them when they know good and well its women who are catty and tear each other down)) doesn't mean men have it easy and the fact that you can claim that just further proves the point of how little society pressures you and how much it pressures men.
    • Anonymous

      I have written so SO many articles on men, about how men should be allowed to express emotions, allowed to be feminine, allowed to wear dresses etc... they should be allowed to hit women back if she hits him, they should be expressive and cry if feeling like it, they should be raised better.

      I understand that men do not deserve half the shit thrown at them like "All men are bad" "all men are pigs and idiots" and that they aren't allowed to be feminine. But Women get it bad too, yes I know theirs a lot of love for women recently.. but we're oppressed.

      I realized that women are always putting over women down, and I've barely seen men do that to each other.

      Trust me, I want the body positive movement for men too, I want positivity for men as well... but

      Please understand that cis white straight men ARE not oppressed. Women are actually oppressed.. I know that men have their own problems, alright, but men don't have to deal with being objectified, they don't get yelled at for playing video games, they aren't second guessed, they aren't seen as a dumb little girl, yeah they aren't allowed to be feminine or express themselves, but that is mainly because Women and the idea of femininity is hated.

      Thats why women can be masculine, but can't be more masculine then a man. Thats also why men can't be feminine at all, because femininity = "weak"

      Women that hate on men for being feminine, are horrible, but its all from the dictation that men are supposed to be "strong and dominant" Those girls also would hate on masculine women.

      Also, everyone here complained that "my article didn't talk about boys" but on my male centered articles, no one complained about not including girls.

    • Precisely. You are saying its okay for men to be WOMEN, not that its okay for men to be MEN. That's my point. You have decided that the ideal human being is a woman and that men should be allowed to emulate women and feminine behavior, they are not however allowed to be men.

      That's the sexism I was talking about. How do you know men don't share their emotions? Of course they do, but because they don't do it exactly like you do you have decided its some how "wrong". For instance you talk about crying, men have far fewer of the hormones responsible for the crying response, fare fewer tear glands, fare fewer and wider tear ducts (which means fewer tears are produces and it requires more tears to spill over then with the narrower channels women have) and a brain structure that is far more resilient to negative stimuli then women's making us biologically disinclined to cry unless under extreme duress (and generally speaking its not men who shame men for this unless its over something small and insignificant, its women who do (I personally know of a woman who broke up with a guy because he cried "to much"). So demanding we show our pain the way you do is incredibly unfair and sexist, your demanding we act like women when we cannot because we quite literally are physically incapable of doing so.

    • As for your other claims of women being oppressed and "cis white straight men" not being oppressed, well that statement itself shows that what your saying is false. You have literally dismissed any and all suffering and experiences held by "cis white straight men" and you have done so based not on the merits of the argument but based upon immutable characteristics, specifically you have made all men a monolith and given one singular trait to all of these people i. e. descriminated against them based upon their gender identity, their gender, their sexual orientation and their race. You have descriminated against them based upon every single immutable trait they have while claiming they are not descriminated against. Also your wrong.

    • Show All
  • LoU_Hades
    Girls who tend to self-objectification, tend to be very judgmental on others. Even if you're presentable as partner from her perspective, she annoys you with steady over analyzing of you behavior and things you say. Guys don't feel comfortable with girls who this specific mindset.
  • cohenrique
    I think a lot of it has to do with fathers not speaking identity and value over their daughters.

    But I think a lot of people would then like to pin the blame on fathers. But honestly, I know lots of controlling wives who shame their husbands into submission. These men are naturally going to disconnect and die out emotionally.

    Granted, it's not this simple, but honestly I think it's a huge dynamic by and large.

    Emotionally Distant Father > Insecure Daughter > Hurt Woman > Bitter/Controlling Wife > Emotionally Distant Father

    Ultimately, it's a cycle. Where it started doesn't matter.
    • Anonymous

      I see, thankyou for the take it makes a lot of sense!

      And I do see a lot of women shaming men and I do my best to make it stop... but I will not deny that men don't really get objectified (they can) but not as much as women.

      Whenever I see a friend of mine hit a boy for no reason even though he seems really happy with being hit by a girl, I still defend him cause if he hits back then his suspended or some bs like that.

  • Lightning8
    Guys are insecure too in the way that they are judged by the opposite sex in mate selection, it's just that they are collectively less emotional about it
    • Anonymous

      Yes completely agree. I do feel bad for men to but I wanted to stick to talking about women because I feel in my opinion that it is more of an issue for girls as we are raised specifically to care about looks.

      But it is wrong that many are judging boys too.

    • Yeah. But I will say, that females at least know what to feel insecure about, because their biological role is very obvious and point blank. It's not so obvious to males how the create value as a viable human mate; it sort of depends on the culture. So unless they have the privilege of being raised the right way, they may not even know why exactly they're insecure, nor what to do about it. So by the time they figure it out, it may feel insurmountable to develop themselves enough to match their age; because things like attitude and accumulation are age sensitive and difficult. But hormonally, I think males are only a little bit less emotional because they don't attempt suicide as often. But they do succeed in suicide multiple times more often, probably because they learn to feel more certain about not having value.

    • I do understand that women are brought up to care excessively for and be neurotic about looks and fashion and aesthetics, and so forth. It's problematic.

  • meesegoMoo
    I don't think it makes somebody a terrible person to want to look nice.
    Some guys do care, some even care to the point of obsession. I think men just have a streak of practicality. I care about health and hygiene, I'll admit appearance is in many aspects either a small concern, or none at all.

    I think people SHOULD care about the things they can change. Weight should be healthy. Looks should show discipline. Behavior is the most important, but being able to speak clearly and make quick, rational decisions are also important.

    There is nothing wrong with anybody wishing to improve themselves in any way. You are right about obsession though, once it is no longer profitable people should stop. And a pretty asshole still shits. No disagreements there.
    • Anonymous

      Yes, I can agree that their is nothing wrong with striving for perfection but when you overdue it and it comes to points where you force yourself not to eat, are getting picked on by your friends, wanting to kill yourself etc..
      thats where it becomes really bad.

      For me I really didn't get why a girl wearing mens deoderent was bad, and I didin't see what was wrong with anyone wearing the same clothes many times in a row either...

      I don't like how judgy society is, but you do have a point about health and hygiene, those are very important.

    • The clothing point is bad, unless you're washing them between wearings. The men's deodorant thing is a point f preference. I don't often notice female deodorant, but men's deodorant can be overpowering. So if you spraying yourself with axe, don't. Just pick something not too strong. That goes for both sexes.

    • Anonymous

      I don't judge people and would not mind anyone making fashion mistakes or doing their own thing.

  • NicolaJ35
    I do have insecurities about my body, but I don't allow it to rule my life.

    One of my friends is so obsessed with her weight, appearance and fashion.

    Seriously though, i've of the feeling there are some things you can't change so live with it.
  • farhaan7
    We all have high expectations for ourselves and our partners the truth is that society wants u to buy their products that's why they have set high standards be it for men or women. Self acceptance has to be practiced.
  • Thatsamazing
    Yay, yet another "but muh society!1! !!! !!!1 !!!" post. Great.
    • Anonymous

      Societys in the gutter bruh.. we fked up gg

  • parjacpar
    Think you will find its more to do with media ie magazines and all there glossy pictures.

    Look how many women ms mags there compared to men's that dhow women looking good ?
  • zagor
    Funny, just the other day I was talking with my sister about how the times I've worked in predominantly female offices (only once or twice, usually it's been the opposite) and how the women - especially younger ones - talked trash about each other behind their backs, and even came close to physical fights. I got treated fine, as a guy. Never had this kind of atmosphere in the predominantly male workplaces.
    • Anonymous

      Yes I hate how women do that.. Always the cruel acts and gossip towards each other.. it disgusts me. But its all from the media, the jealousy, the out of style outfits, the makeup, women judge other women on how beautiful they look and how they cover up their true emotions.

      But dude, I bet most males would judge any man if he decided to wear makeup, expressed his emotions, was in style, cried, showed any signs of "weakness". Because strength is the ideal thing for a man, and beauty is the ideal thing for a women.

      This is exactly why, when genderoles are reversed and you meet a woman that values strength over all and a man that values beauty over all, they will both be hated on. I am really tomboyish at school, and get bullied by other girls, but my guy friend is really feminine and wears makeup, and he is bullied by the other boys... Its a two way street.. but given by that boys were raised to be more chill and laidback, then they wouldn't gossip, they would just be like "Yo man you look really weak" something like that... where women are more likely to keep it all in private because "confrontations ARE not a lady like thing" It sucks.. tbh

    • zagor

      But the guys you are talking about are presumably under 18. Most adult men don't act like that.

    • Anonymous

      Adult males have beaten up males for wearing makeup.

  • Hunter7754
    "You know why so many girls care so much about their weight and how they look, and why so many guys barely care about that at all?"

    Guys do care about their weight and how they look. Only difference is, they do not have the luxury of being allowed to feel insecure.
    • Anonymous

      Yes. I don't know why
      you have
      to tell me
      something that I already am aware of..

      and compare the genders..
      out of nowhere...

  • BlueFlame14
    I'm definitely not insecure. Insecure girls are just annoying to me
    • Anonymous

      Thats kind of a misogynistic thing to say, to hate on other girls.. for having insecurity..

      Insecurity isn't supposed to be some cruel thing or anything, TBH I am quite insecure when I walk into really girly places because all these girls stare at me and make me feel like I have to conform to the femininity... but Id rather go my own way.

      Their are different types of insecurities... and reasons to be insecure, its not always the same girls that are like "Am I fat in this dress" etc... sometimes it can be an identity crisis... or so

    • I'm sorry, I don't remember asking for your opinion. I'm saying they annoy ME because its MY OPINION

  • Aakash_Hangargi
    You are insecure because perception and surroundings are in a certain way and personality traits if you everybody is conditioned in a certain ways, the only thing you can do is be grateful to what you have focus on something that is intellectual or positive just forget about those people it doesn't matter and yes ofcourse you have to dress moderately where you work you ask is it really about them or you feel the way because you believe that they are right and what are you doin for situations to improve so the main solution is that focus on the part to over come on a problem just than to cringe about them every human being in there own way are insecure some are good at hiding them
  • Gedaria
    Don't follow the gang. Be different, do your own thing so you don't fit into their slots...
  • Good take
  • _syafiqah_
    I felt insecure because i m fat 😭
  • Anonymous
    I don't know how anyone who has spent any time on GAG could actually believe that women are any more insecure than men. I mean seriously? Guys are just as insecure, they are just not allowed to show it in real life, only on the internet.

    As a female, you are actually luckier in the sense that you are allowed to express your insecurities and be accepted even though you have them, whereas insecure men are seen as weak and pathetic and always will be.

    Sorry, but I don't agree with most of this because I don't see the word through gynocentric lenses. This take is just is female victim mentality talking.
    • Anonymous

      Guys are insecure about somewhat different things, and that's what is throwing you off here. You assume because guys are not asking "how do I look" or "rate me" questions all day long that they are less insecure than girls.

      But as I'm sure you know, guys are asking penis size questions all day long. But here's the thing... looks at the vast difference between how people react to "how do I look" questions versus how they react to penis size questions. Guys who ask them are essentially considered garbage by most women here... pathetic is an understatement. You can't say the same about girls who ask how they look.

      Guys are just as insecure, they are just not allowed to show it.

    • Anonymous

      I am not saying that at all. I completely agree that men are just as insecure but I didn't want to strive away from the topic at hand.

      Please let women talk about this because males aren't the ones usually that are getting bullied and gossiped about by their friends, males can get away with doing a lot of crazy things that women can't..

      Remember a news reporter wore the same clothes many times in a row and no one cared cause his male..

      The thing is is that males assumed aren't supposed to care about fashion so they get away with wearing what they want. While women are ingrained to care about that shit, so the women that don't get bullied.

      However men that are feminine and care about fashion are shunned by their pears so yes in that sense it is insecurity.. and yes men are seen as the ones that can't care about emotions and empathy but that is once again because they were raised not to be like that.

      Insecurity obviously works both ways... but due to the fact that its most of the time women bullying other women , I wrote about girls insecurity.

      Please don't assume I am like those girls that bully men and think men aren't insecure, because I care about both genders equally and I have done a lot of articles on support for men and decided to do one on support for women too because I do think that Women suffer more in terms of gossip and keeping friendships.

      Since most men are blunt and say it how it is and men usually don't mind banter with friends, most women (due to being raised stupidly) care a lot about banter and are very sensitive usually and will gossip about their friends.. which sucks.

      Anyway Im sorry you took what I said the wrong way, as I do understand that men are very insecure.
      I have seen women ridicule a man for being short and it was horrible, I've seen a boy not allowed to wear makeup and he cried and people picked on him.