Why are Beautiful Women Insecure?

Why are Beautiful Women Insecure?

I have been wanting to write on this topic for a while now, but it is hard to know what to say. Especially in our day and age when image is so important. But I think I have the words now.

There is a clear crisis of beauty in our culture. Everywhere you look, things are advertised using woman who have been airbrushed, professionally done up, and photo shopped. The advertising industry has figured out what the 'perfect woman' looks like, and they do everything in their power to create that look, just to sell more stuff. And to make matters worse, these false images of beauty are labeled with names like, 'effortless', 'simple', 'natural', and 'minimalist' in order to get you to by into the realism, and yet these looks may have taken DAYS of effort to produce.

Is it any wonder that woman struggle with their looks? Given the standards they see all the time, particularly on TV or glamour magazines and websites, it can create the idea that in order to be desirable and loved, they have to look like these woman. And they are failing. They will never look like that, so they either create a false hope in their minds that if they can just lose five pounds, or just get ride of that unwanted hair, or just get D cups, THEN they will be beautiful and THEN they will be lovable.

And all this does is perpetuate the materialism that those advertisements were aiming for in the first place.

However, this is not what men want. Now, I am not talking about when guys are wanting a woman ONLY for her looks. Because by definition, if he is just wanting her for her body then he is not trying to love her. And a desire to be loved is where the woman's insecurity comes from. I am talking about a man who is just as excited to wake up next to woman as he is to fall asleep with her. A man who wants a confidant, emotional support, respect, and a partner in crime. Such a man also wants a woman that he can care for and encourage, someone he pour his life out for, and grow old with. These men want a woman knows she is beautiful and worthy of love, inside and out.

But as a culture, we have lost the ability to encourage men to seek this out. We have lost the ability to encourage woman to be this way. And what have we replaced it with? Hit it and quit it. Billions spent on the externals and not what matters inside. Bulimia. Anorexia. Even Suicide.

Most aren't that bad though. Thankfully. A lot are, but not all. Yet here is how it normally goes.

A girl is young, and just starting to be aware of boys, and how interesting and frustrating they can be. She wants them to notice her though, and so she starts changing her behavior and how she dresses. All the other girls around her are doing the same thing, and they start to realize that the attention they all desire is limited. So some of the girls get it into their heads that if they take out the competition, then they can monopolize the attention and remove a rival. So what do they do? They notice an area that the young and impressionable girl is insecure in (or they make one up) and they say the most biting and cutting remark she can to completely destroy their target's confidence.

Why are Beautiful Women Insecure?

For example, eleven year old Sharon is telling her friend that she is interested in a boy in her class. Another girl hears her, and viewing her as a threat, says, "He wouldn't like you Sharon. You are too flat chested. Boys only like girls who are busty." And this comment sinks deep into Sharon's brain, so much so that years later she spends thousands of dollars to get an augmentation and deals with all the complications that come from it, because of the comment she got at eleven years old.

It doesn't always happen exactly like this. Maybe it's your mother saying your eyes are too close together, or an aunt making a passing comment about your belly fat. Regardless of it's source, it is internalized and teaches women two lies. One, that whatever was named is actually a defect, and two, that it is their physical attractiveness that matters. That that is where their value is.

Why are Beautiful Women Insecure?

So starting from something so small that was said to them when they were young, and reinforced by all they see in media, the girls become obsessed over their looks. They stand in front of the mirror, sometimes for hours, going over their body examining every little detail. And they question, pick, and prod until they find all the things that they can hate about themselves. Every time they look in the mirror they focus on their defects until that is all they see. It becomes their view of themselves, and they can never see any more than the 'defects' they have found.

Why are Beautiful Women Insecure?

It gets worse. Because even if they avoid the surgeries and the eating disorders, these girls still have judged themselves as so inadequate that any compliment they receive that THEY view as too much is rejected. Even from those who love them.

Have you ever seen a woman with a baby and you didn't think it was cute but she thought her child was adorable? Or a marriage and the man is butt ugly, but his wife tells you she thinks he is handsome? Who is right in that instance? Is it the stranger, who can only see the surface level, or is it the one who knows and loves the person the best? It seems to me that love is not blind (infatuation is) but that love opens your eyes to truly see the person in front of you.

When I get married someday, I know that I will think my wife is drop dead gorgeous. But I also know that there will be men who think she is plain. Yet I believe that I will be truly seeing her because I will be looking with the eyes of love. And in the same way, if I see a man in love with a woman I think is plain or ugly, I know that I am not seeing her real beauty, but he is.

How damaging then, is it to a man when he looks at his girl and is overwhelmed by her beauty, if she takes his compliment that arose from a sincere appreciation of her, and rejects it? 'Your just saying that', 'Stop buttering me up', 'What do you really want', 'Stop lying'. Is he not looking at her with love? Does he not see her as she really is? Yet she does not believe he could possibly see her as beautiful because she KNOWS. She knows what she REALLY looks like. After all, wasn't she told so when she was eleven?

You can see why this is damaging to relationships, damaging to the men in them, and most of all damaging to the woman.

You are beautiful. Truly actually beautiful. Not everyone will see it. Perhaps even most people won't see it. But those who love you do. Don't you have friends who are gorgeous, and yet they are just as insecure as you are? What if they see you they same way you see them? Beautiful, yet blind to it.

So please believe it. Please start believing those who love you and not some comment you heard years ago from someone who doesn't. Stop looking in the mirror with a magnifying glass to see your faults, and looks instead at the beautiful person in front of you. Stop listening to fashion magazines that tell you how to get the guy, because they are lying and only selling a product. Stop believing all the lies and bullshit that puts you down and teaches you that your value somehow comes from what you look like and not who you are.

Even the insecurity itself is lying to you, because you are ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL. Even if the person who has the hardest time seeing it, is yourself.


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Most Helpful Girls

  • Beautifully written. Anyways, here's my short take on why beautiful girls are insecure, BESIDES what you just mentioned:
    1) I don't know if it is just me or we just pay more attention to the physical appearance of a more attractive girl. Like the so-called average or below girls don't really care a lot, but with girls who do get more compliments and attention are watched more so they get more negativity and hate.
    'but she has a wide nose. But she has no ass. But she is so short. But she is hairy af.' there is always a BUT. Throughout my own life that 'but' has been my dark skin tone mainly.
    2) The beauty industry trying to covince girls that certain parts of them are abnormal and they have to be fixed, even though they really aren't to begin with. Such as thigh gap, hip dips, saddlebags, dark armpits, stretch marks, I could carry this on.
    3) Girls believing that other girls look flawless all the time lol. Listen to this: I will never upload a pic of my face with my pimples and scars showing DUH. I had an old profile pic here which was taken soon after I recovered from chicken pox. Some girl told me that I don't understand her insecurities because I am a flawless doll, lol. I was honest enough to let her know about the horrible pox marks I had underneath the layers of makeup. I take like 60 selfies and the one I upload is the very best of all.
    4) No matter what people say, we know who is getting more attention, right?
    5) We are expected to take care of our skin, workout regularly as if we ain't got school/work to do! We could be teachers, artists, cashiers, and expected to workout like a gym trainer and take care of our looks like a model. Even guys tell girls 'if you worked out you could look like Lais DeLeon. WTH? Lais DeLeon is a professional gym instructor, the girl you're telling to look like her is a banker.

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    • Thank you explaining this! It sounds rather hellish, tbh.

      Something that underlay what you were saying, like the fact that some girls get all the attention, is a common conflation of attention and affection. They aren't the same thing

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    • Can't find it

    • Try going to the my takes page, and one of the most recent ones has oxytocin in the title

  • Because for everyone that calls us sexy, beautiful, cute, etc...
    We still don't believe it because there is always someone out there that looks better than us! On social media in particular, there are all these models and beautiful women that men oogle over and women aspire to look like. How do you think it feels being called sexy or beautiful yet no guy will approach me? Yeah, that really makes me feel beautiful. I know you have to "love yourself before someone else can love you," but let's face it, we, as people, still rely on others approval as well.

    Yes, I know it's not good or healthy to compare myself to other women, but it's hard not to! Especially when you're supposedly so beautiful, yet others are always quick to point out your flaws or how you could look or be better.

    So the reason beautiful women are insecure is because society made us that way. It's hard to accept ourselves when there are so many factors shoving down our throats, "You look good, BUT you could look better..."

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    • My point exactly. Comparison is the thief of joy, and will only lead you into bitterness. stop trying to be the most beautiful woman ever, and try to be the most beautiful you.

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    • Exactly. I got "You look better when you're skinny." a L O T.

    • That sucks

Most Helpful Guys

  • basically, I'm of the opinion that beautiful women are told that much of their value hinges on their beauty. But beauty is something that is randomly/genetically assigned, and there is nothing a girl can do to "earn" it. Much like how you'll never find a guy who is more insecure about the merits of hard work than a guy who inherited a large business, pretty girls don't know what to "do" about their looks. Like everyone else, they just want to contribute to society, but then they are given the impression that, for temporary reasons beyond their control, they would best contribute as a whore. Yet, for obvious reasons, very few people actually want to live that life.

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  • Good points raised.

    Though the same way a lot of attractive, high quality women are left to rot by low quality men and fake friends for women, inevitably altering the self-image of said attractive women to the point that she no longer feels like she's worth shit... The same exact thing happens to attractive males, in male circles!

    Basically this world is full of scum and decent people - and heaven forbid decent and *attractive* people - just get shit on from very great heights by the lesser people.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Men are not doing anything to help women feel beautiful. i see men all the time shamelessly check out other women in front of their wives, girlfriends, pregnant wives, etc. Wow. can't you just be happy with the woman you are with? Must you all constantly look at every other female but your wife, the one you supposedly love?

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    • To a certain extent, men will always be inclined to look. That being said, you are very right that men do not know how to cherish what they have. Our whole culture is broken and unable to recognize or hold on to true beauty.

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    • @FreshOutaIdeas i don't know. maybe i think women are innocent angels, lol. or maybe i've been paying too much attention to guys checking girls out. i know that when i have a guy, i would never check another guy out when i am with him. okay, i may when i am by myself, but never for too long or to suggest to him any interest. if i am with someone, i am not going to flirt with someone else.

    • @DianaWest
      I guess this is a late reply, only just seen it though!

      " okay, i may when i am by myself, but never for too long or to suggest to him any interest"... That's my point exactly, you are looking at another guy (no matter how briefly) because he has sparked some form of interest in you.

      I've seen women out there with husbands who are so wrapped up in their guys that they truly don't look at other guys, for sure we'll always comment on those that look good (nothing wrong with that!), but the fact that girls can have a wandering eye means that they aren't fully satiated with the guy they're currently with...

  • There are many perspectives to look at. You mentioned the social perspective. There is also a biological and a deeper insight into the psychological perspective.
    From a biological perspective, women who are considered universally attractive have higher estrogen levels which makes them at the same time more sensitive and vulnerable. Universally attractive guys have exactly the opposite, they have bigger egos and higher self-esteem, because of a different hormone, different behavior.
    From a deeper psychological perspective, people who find someone attractive usually look longer at that person. That attractive person doesn't get as many compliments (or are even made fun of as you mentioned) as people assume, some people even don't feel the need to compliment the person because they assume that the person already knows she is attractive, which is sadly merely the case. Now, maybe the mouth says nothing but body language says a lot. As I mentioned people would stare at someone attractive. That attractive person would feel uncomfortable and wonder whether something is wrong with them. It makes them self-conscious.

    Personally, I got complimented but I faced more mockery during my puberty (by other girls) which dragged down my self-esteem. I've been stared at a lot which made me really self-conscious. It took me years to build myself up and to realize stuff by gaining knowledge about the opposite sex.

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  • That is not why women are insecure. Their insecure because all you men do is use women for sex and don't marry them, don't keep your promises and after you had your fun sexually before marriage, you still may cheat on them. I am not saying all men do this, as women do the same. But all a woman wants is for a man to love her, keep his promises and practice what he preaches. The media isn't the main problem. It's society and it's a broken system that's the problem. What other women say and do is not the problem. It's what men say and do that's the problem. That's what made me stop.

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    • We are all at fault here. What women do is the problem, and what men do is the problem. So is society and so is the media. We all just don't know how to do it right.

    • We can do it right and it starts by doing it God's way. When we get back to doing it his way we would not have this problem. What is besan choice, and everybody has choices in this life. So if they do not want to treat others right then they got to suffer the consequences of their actions while somebody else innocently have to pay for others mistakes. Change begins with what we choose to do not what we expect others to do. We have to educate our young to do right by each other and not the lies that we've been sold all these years that is making us miserable.

  • As a young teenager, maybe around 13, I was very insecure. I thought that no boys would ever like me, I was smart so I got called a nerd all the time. Things changed when I was 16 and I got a modelling contract. I'm not insecure anymore, but for the wrong reasons.

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    • Fascinating. So you are confident, but you don't like the foundation it is built on?

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    • So don't give up hope, and keep trying to find the reason for your value in something lasting.

  • There is something I used to call the "pretty girl curse".
    A girl, being beautiful, is chased only because of that reason, and can only find guys who want her for her appearance, then throw her away.
    In the end, while she's beautiful, she's alone, and start thinking that she's not good enough for anyone, and that's why she can't keep someone.

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    • sooooooo true
      Many guys just want to use women and dump them
      This is why adultery is forbidden in all religions to protect beautiful women from being used and dumped.

  • Beautiful women are deluged with tons of negative attention from troubled people. They have so many weirdos and jealous girls screwing with them all the time that they become paranoid and insecure about themselves. Less-attractive girls will deliberately single out beautiful women and attempt to play head games with them out of pure jealousy. Weird and tweaky guys make matters worse by passing inappropriate comments to them out of the frustration of rejection.

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    • You have a point

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    • Agreed... only unattractive ones will make a disgusting face, saying "You think you're that pretty?" while naturally beautiful girls never say rude things about other girls' appearance.

    • @el_Te_de_la_Rosa I know. every single day, i see some plain lady glaring at a beautiful girl. And i'm just like, why? does her existence bother you?

  • Love this ❤️ I know many girls who are so pretty but insecure about them selfs and I wish I could get them to realize How pretty they are ❤️

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  • nice, sometimes mother and family female members are the worst critics. People will never be happy. When a girl looks sexy, men only lust her but they don't love or respect her. When a girl is simple, she is called boring and when she is sexy like Ariana Grande, she is called a "hoe"

    I believe a woman's beauty is only for her husband not for the entire male population unless she is a celebrity.

    I believe women should not lose virginity before marriage to protect themselves from bad boys.

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    • by the way you will be a great father, husband and a brother, who will always help his sister, wife and daughter with self-esteem issues. I am sure if a guy tries to put your daughter down, you will jump down his throat. hahahahhahhahaha

    • I hope I will be. And I have no intention of letting someone put down date women in my life

  • Some of them are thinkers. They’re aware of the truth of lives and beings. When the appearance fades away by aging, illness, etc.; personality reveals who that person really is. Those attractive people are not proud of their looks much. They’d prefer it when others notice them for their talents, skills and any other aspects. Many of them try very hard to prove to others that they are better than what their shells appear.
    Personally, when I was young, I had no interest in dressing up to impress anyone, like being fashionable for friends, sexy for guys, or professional for careers. The natural look often drew people even if they are complete strangers (mostly female) towards me, criticizing my appearance. One conversation I recalled: there were 2 women who were older than me called me to come over, and one of them said that she and her friend were discussing about how I looked.
    Lady 1: “Girl, my friend thinks you’re not pretty, but I don’t think so. (Smiley face)”
    Lady 2: (Shaking her head in disagreement.)
    Me: … (Silence. WTF. I have never asked for anybody’s opinion. Can you just leave me alone?)
    From then on, I am aware of my appearance. I’m Asian. Women in my country these days are also struggling to look as the social standard. For men, pretty girls in their opinions must be pale, skinny, girly and cute like Korean Pop girls. And me? Totally opposite. No young men likes me, but I still attract older men (and 98% of them are married TT-TT), and foreigners. I was so confused. Then, I tried a dating app to work on an experiment. I’m not that ugly! (But I don’t know those guys might want only one thing so they don’t care much?).
    I’m not interested in being one of pretty girls for men in my country too. I don’t find them attractive. By characteristics, they are top cheaters of the world! I’m not going inject weird chemicals into my body. I have body weight training instead of starving myself to be slim. However, this doesn’t mean I’m not insecure. When a man reaches out to me, he expects to have my body. I’m not sure when we say “we have to focus on the inner beauty,” we actually mean it? Because whenever I try to give my opinions, share my thoughts, express my feeling, no man seems to care…

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  • Everyone had a different upbringing. I always noticed when I was younger that I would compare myself to attractive women. Than about 4 years ago I read in articles how attractive people can be arrogant and insecure from their upbringing. I would consider myself average but I can say I was catered to when I was young. I received many hugs, kisses and kind words. I was adored on both sides of my families.

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    • Of course other people can be arrogant and insecure as well. In society we just normally feel because someone is attractive theyve had an easier life. I've met many attractive people whose lives were very bad.

    • Yeah, that's a good point. It is hard to make a generalization without finding a lot of exceptions

  • TLDR. Your profile doesn't list your age, but I have doubts about your authority on what makes women tick.
    I can tell you they are extremely competitive, especially about men and dating, and most of them have this incessant need for the celebrity worship and comparo shtick which is a giant fail for a lot of reasons. Just look at that kardashian dipshit - she's all the rage. [shrug]

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    • Low self esteemed women often replace this void with an artificially inflated ego, don't they?

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    • @Browneye57
      Aaaahhh yes, the cock-carousel!!! The bane of many a modern woman is it not? Haha. If @Shezadi is still reading this then perhaps she should take a leaf out of this proverbial book of what's been described so far; I don't mean any offence to her but it really grates on me when girls/women try to pass off asinine levels of childish immaturity, as "girly-girlishness", when in all actuality it is a front for either the self-entitled narcissists you've described already - and of which I have quite a lot of considerable experience with.

      "And these girls never do develop themselves in a way that brings high value to the relationship - they figure if they show up with their golden vagina they're, well, golden. LOL".

      That's exactly it! Many a modern woman bases not just her sexual value, but her value as a woman entirely, on whether or not she can get laid, even better if it's by that hot guy in the corner. Even girls who don't sleep around and might actually make for decent relationship material still fall into this trap too. I've been in a couple scenarios where the girl wants me to do the whole chivalry routine, which for a while chasing her around is cool and sexually tense and all, but eventually without much confidant reciprocation, I lost interest completely, and then all of a sudden they were left wondering why the hell I just disappeared!

      Some girls really are clueless!

    • @FreshOutaIdeas - Some? Most. :)
      Introspection is not really a strong point for women. Actually, it's a survival mechanism for the weaker sex. ;)

  • because
    the closer you are to being your 'ideal' self the more the desire to get there goes higher... however like anything, getting that last 10% is the most difficult if not impossible... so their chase and dissatisfaction continues until they lose their minds

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  • This is a beautifully written Take. Really hammers your point home.

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    • Thank you! It has been swirling in my brain for a long time, and I feel strongly about it.

  • Because every dude in the entire world thinks this way -
    she is so cute she is probably dumb as hell , and she probably is a hoe and gets too many attention from other thirsty dudes , i dont even wanna talk to her in long term but i sure would smash her and dash

    thats how the male audience thinks about this type of girls

    Yes its a stereotype but its always on guys mind when they see girl like this

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    • I love you for being so honest. I am so proud of you. I should have a poster of this comment everywhere on the streets, guys are horrible, the way they fake loving a girl just to smash her and then they dump her leaving her heart broken. This is why women hate guys. Guys should not have double standards for their sisters, daughters, mothers and somebody's else daughter and sister. Every girl is someone's future wife and mother. This is another reason women don't lose virginity before marriage because even cheaters look like angels on the outside like Zayn Malik, Justin Bieber, Brad, Pete Davidson. hate those type of boys and what about those who share the nudes of their girlfriends?

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    • I don't get it

    • @Shezadi then read again

  • I imagine because they are so convinced that they aren't as beautiful as we see them as and the more we tell them the more they are going to convince themselves that we are either lying or just after sex from them making them more insecure. Not all women are like this and all that though.

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  • Love this take! It was beautiful to read, also written by an understanding and kind man! Much appreciated :D
    I want to mention that it doesn't matter how pretty you are your looks will still get nitpicked, i've experienced this first hand from family, friends, and even strangers. I have never been called ugly and have always been praised for my looks, yet, it often felt like it didn't matter because someone always had something negative to say. You know that statement "shes pretty but...(insert negative comment putting down a girls looks)" feels like some people put you up just to drag you down. I never felt good enough and always feel that i am lacking and this is how it is for many women.

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    • That is high praise! Thank you

      It's a sad society we live in, isn't it?

  • I get confused by people who are pretty with inscure thoughts.

    Cause i can cleary judge myself as ugly or not and others to a correct answer (aka the most agreed since ugly and pretty can be each to there own).

    So i don't understand how others cannot.
    I mean if i was hot i would know it.

    But i get it's all psychology which at the end of day is all kinds of weird and over the place.

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  • All girls are insecure. Its just in their nature, doesn't matter if they are pretty or not.

    Any person who values their appearance a lot is bound to be insecure, whether thats natural or conditioning. I think women have it worse now than ever before.

    Men too. Bodybuilding is pretty much the epitome of male insecurity.
    There is no bodybuilder who isn't insecure about his looks. Same with women.

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  • I think some of this is true and does apply to me.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts

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  • They aren't. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself for believing that.

    Let an average man approach one and see just how highly they think about themselves in comparison.

    You don't get to look down your nose and insult men for daring to talk to you and cry about your self-esteem at the same time.

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    • A guy: he ignores 90% of girls and complain that the other 10% are shallow when they date hotter guys.

    • @Shezadi LOL okay, which is it? Are guys shallow or are guys just looking to screw any woman? I realize that you're not too bright since that was all you could come up with (you couldn't even try to refute the truth)... but even YOU must realize that you can't have it both ways.

  • Many times, attractive people just get a tor**** of abuse from people. I never considered myself appealing... like... at all... until I left high school and I started to get incredibly attractive women loving on me. If you hear something enough times, you'll eventually start believing it, and pretty women are told constantly that they need to be on their game, or men won't find them attractive. Do you see all those strange questions that women ask about minor imperfections, and whether or not a guy will find them a turn-off? They're asking that because women are genuinely taught that guys will critique them mercilessly.

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    • And many guys do because they're taught that looks matter, and because of the porn garbage. There's not enough respect for women the same way does not enough respect for men and people overall.

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    • I am commenting to @Shezadi above me.

    • Oh gotcha. My phone was failing me

  • My sister is pretty attractive.. and she’s very cocky

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  • What is beautiful? Everyone has different taste on looks. This is one of things that are hard to explain as beautiful means different things to everyone.

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  • They're not! Most of them know they're beautiful they just like people to tell them how beautiful they are.

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  • Hey. I used to be heavily insecure. I'm self-conscious because the people around me don't like me as how I am. Where I'm from, I need to have pale skin and a petite or small frame. Most times I feel invisible, as if I'm not even existing. No one gives a fuck about how I feel. Not that I'm complaining, it's normal. What matters is that I must have big breasts, a big bum and be feminine. I can't have my thighs touching, my shoulders too broad or any scratches or scars on my skin. I can't have depression, or any mental illnesses and disorders. I need to be happy and joyful. I tend to overthink because I stare in the mirror for too long. I analyse myself and am too pessimistic. I need to be "perfect" to be appreciated and not to be looked down on. No one wants to have anything to do with you if you're not an eye candy. No one looks at you if you're not worth to even be looked at. These are my opinions :)

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    • It sounds like you are really struggling with all of the negative opinions some other people around you. You said you used to be insecure but you are not anymore? Has the negativity changed, or are you just better at dealing with it?

      And it sounds like you're expected to be pale, small and petite, while at the same time being very curvy. How does that work?

  • Proberbly been bullied some time in life about there looks. i think some young women need glasses most young women attractive but have no confidence low esteem or bad perents or thick ones.

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  • 2 long 2 read

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  • Because most women, 95% of them, are pendejas, unfortunately. I love women, but damn, they get stuck being so judgmental on each other and shit.

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  • I believe cause we tend to be competitive with each other.

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  • Let me count the ways. Nothing better than a solid seven! Aside from hooking up, avoid the 8s, 9s and 10s like the plague!

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  • Excellent take fella! You are top notch!

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  • The more you obsess about your looks the uglier you are to men. Just stop. We dont even really like makeup or any of that shit.

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    • the fakest comment ever. You guys lust women who wear makeup and makeup makes average girls look pretty that's why you guys care about makeup. Looks cause attraction and develop opinions, therefore looks matter. All the female celebrities wear makeup in their music videos I am sure you find them pretty. You will not fall in love with a girl who never grooms herself, who never waxes her legs, wear pyjamas, and always has her hair in a ponytail and morning face is not that pretty.

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    • what if a man is not honest about his intentions?

    • @Shezadi so you think the majority of men are liars. Even online here where none of us have any stake in talking to you? I don't know that makes you sound even worse if you think most men are liars. All i can say is my last girlfriend wore no makeup and a way "hotter/makeuped" tried to talk to me and i just ignored her and chose my most recent girlfriend because i dont like girls that wear lots of makeup. Tbh id have fucked her if circumstances were different but id never date someone who does lots of makeup like that.

  • Because it’s hard to keep a daily routine with keeping your whole appearance perfect. Insecure is caused by perfection.

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    • I would say insecurity comes when you expect perfection.

  • they get like that because some guys will play them, body shame them, give them grief

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  • If I spent untold hours being negged by wannabe PUA's I would be insecure, too.

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  • I personally haven't noticed this a whole lot myself, however being a shy person myself maybe I shelter myself from this kinda thing.

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  • This is pointless.

    Humans reproduce sexually, which almost invariably leads to competition for mates. Engaging in sex is less costly for men biologically speaking, so men lean towards promiscuity and primarily value healthy genes, i. e. looks and youth. As a result, women compete in these areas, and are easy targets for corporations that want to sell them shit.

    Sex is expensive for women, so women are more picky, and value commitment, partnership, protection, providing, and fatherhood skills besides healthy genes. So men compete for social status, physical prowess, etc. And are easy targets for corporations that want to sell them other shit.

    End of story. It's tragic, but it's not gonna change anytime soon.

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    • it should never change no girl wants to marry a broke who can't provide for her and her children, and no man wants his sister or daughter to marry a broke like Jane married Tarzan, who lived in the jungle.

  • Social media mainly. Plus many girls who are really beautiful are rarely seen as such by guys man

    im telling u this, a lot of guys value ass/tits over face these days, so when u are a skinny girl with exotic girls more than not, guys won't really want you, im talking what i see in my surroundings.

    Guys these rather have a "5/10" with a sense of fashion and great body than an 8/10 with sense of style and no body at all...

    Instagram has really given us this new beauty standard, my personal taste is more so towards the catwalk models. Ask most guys my age and they will find them ugly, ask the girls theyll say theyre gorgeous.

    And from what I've learned and experienced, everyone is insecure, most people we think about as people with lots of confidence usually dont. No wonder all these celebs have drug addictions or commit suicide... Yet we all think they live very happy and glamorous lifes.

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  • beauty is in the eye of the beholder. you don't know that?

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  • I think all girls are. Maybe some better at hiding it.

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  • theyre generally not, theyre venerated and pampered by society

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  • They are body shamed by women who bring others down to feel better. They get scrutinised more.

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  • many women know they are beautiful and are assholes because of it

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    • no, just the fake ones. the naturally beautiful ones don't know it because everyone hates them and are envious, and never compliment them. they get treated like shit by most women and men who know they can't have them.

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    • @bladedshard No, it is not pure bs. the vast majority of the human population is average-looking. hence, of course, when someone is blessed with beauty, a lot of bitchiness, jealousy, and backstabbing occurs. you do not know how women treat each other. i notice this all the time on the bus and subway, school, work, etc. if a beautiful girl walks in, automatically every female's head turns her way, eyes her up and down, and gives her a disapproving shake of the head or a grunt or some other immature, obnoxious crap. behaviour does play a role, but when a girl who's just walked in 5 seconds ago gets eyed up and glared at by 10 women, there is obviously something wrong with THEIR character and not the girl they dislike. (btw: she is not dressed slutty. just stylishly). tell me you've never seen this happening and then i will accept your opinion.

    • shouldn't have called it pure bs. Yes i have seen disapproving looks.

  • i wonder why boys aren't depressed and freaking out because they do not measure up to NFL players, male models, superhero's etc.

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    • Because they aren't expected to, and a physically attractive partner is less important to woman than it is men.

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    • No. I am just interested in the well being of the other half of humanity. Some would call it not being an asshole

  • Self esteem is so important. If you have no self esteem it can ruin your life. Also, when people hate themselves, don't like their life they will take it out on someone or themselves. Misery loves company! All my life I've been picked on for my looks by my parents. It affected me a lot but I'm trying to get better. I try telling myself I am beautiful everyday... In fact everyone who lives with me constantly tells me I either look awful and I'm never invited or offered to join any get togethers with my step brother and older sister because my step brother doesn't like me. As he made it obvious to me.

    But hey, it's okay. Not exactly but I just need to find my own group of friends and hang around people who make me feel good about myself and love me for me. Something that my family failed to do.

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  • cuz they focus so much on looks that they forget about their spirit.

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  • comparison or because of judgmental people

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    • I'm sorry I think was answering a different question but about your my take I think that it is very amazing you seem to be very wise and smart and what you stated is very true especially when you imply that by the way others treat women that affects them a lot.

    • Thank you. I am glad you found it interesting.

  • Many girls including me, are perfectionists, so we want to be perfect.

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    • Do you find that crippling?

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    • It sounds to me like you are making the perfect the enemy of the good. I have heard that striving perfection is a good thing, as long as you are content to end up at excellence. But if you expect nothing less than perfection, you will have no contentment or peace at all

    • @basketball7 this is a test, so you can ignore it.

      @ordinarygurl can you see this?

  • All beautiful women aren’t insecure.

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    • No, not all of them. It is very difficult to write something that is true of everyone. I just tried to write something that was true of most

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    • No that is subjective.

    • What is?

  • Very well written 👏

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