This mytake was inspired by a question from @letuswaltzforthedead :
Feminism used to be defined as the movement that began with voting rights for women, that eventually progressed into fighting for the rights of women to do things that they were traditionally not allowed to do, such as own land, or even have a job. Later on, we had the fight for equal representation, especially in governance and the workplace. There was the fight for equal treatment, equal pay, and equal opportunities, and I personally agree that these movements were great, and are still greatly required in countries where women are still generally oppressed, especially in the Middle East, Africa and parts of Asia (As such, my response will be written in the context of most first world countries, especially more westernised countries.). However, my problem with modern feminism is: The lack of acknowledgement, and outright downplaying & ignorance of the issues that are faced primarily by men, as well as the failure to acknowledge the advantages that modern women have as compared to men.
(Disclaimer: I am BY NO MEANS referring to ALL feminists at any point in this article)
A portion of modern feminists claim that men (especially white men) are privileged, citing the pay gap, politics and the glass ceiling, among other things. However, they often fail to realise that as women, they themselves also experience certain advantages that men do not get. These may include (but are not limited to): (1.) The suitability of the education system for females vs males, especially considering that the styles of learning adopted and enforced by most institutions unintentionally favour female learners more than male learners and (2.) Avoiding the draft. Now, the issue lies not with feminists not doing anything to address the issue; after all, men should advocate for male-centric issues, like how women have advocated for female-centric issues. What is concerning is the failure of some modern feminists to recognise and acknowledge that such issues exist.
Some modern feminists, while acknowledging and fighting against double standards that affect women, also fail to acknowledge the double standards that affect men. Such double standards include (but are not limited to):
1. Men being expected to pay for dates, and to be the initiator in relationships. I am not saying that it is wrong for this to be the case for some couples, because it definitely works for some relationships. However, it should not be an "expectation". Women now make their own money too. Whoever asks for a date, can and should pay for it.
2. Unequal protection of men under the law, as compared to women. Men who are victims of domestic and/or sexual abuse are often ridiculed, disregarded and dismissed, not just by the police who they reported the incident to, but by the public and the people around them. Men are always assumed to be the perpetrator in cases involving both genders, although it is not always the case. Up until recently, the legal definition of rape meant that men could not be raped, and perpetrators often got off scot-free. Fathers, based on the mentality that mothers are better caretakers, are less likely to get custody of the children in divorce cases, even if he may be a better parent.
Again, what gets on the nerves of many people is not that feminists are not fighting to resolve these issues; it is primarily our job as men to advocate for men's issues. What proves to be an annoyance though, is the (A.) obliviousness to such issues displayed by some modern feminists, and the downplaying, invalidation and disregard of such issues by other modern feminists.
Also, there is the controversy of events and slogans such as "free the nipple", naked marches, campaigns to allow women to go topless, etc., as the resources being diverted to these superficial and pointless events and campaigns could have been used for the benefit of women who actually needed help and support, eg. supporting women's homes for single mothers, free counselling and shelter for survivors of abuse, etc. Why waste valuable time and money on such things when it can be used to actually help women in need?
Some claims that are aimed at supporting the modern feminist cause are often not grounded in good understanding of solid and reliable research. A well-known example would be the 77 cents to a dollar problem, where a woman in the U.S. makes on average 77 cents for ever dollar a man makes . While the data collected is most probably reliable, many do not realise that the data cannot be taken at face value, as it cannot be assumed that women and men are equally represented in each and every career; women and men tend to have different choices of career, which contributes to the pay gap. This readily applies to other sets of data used to highlight potential issues placing women at a disadvantage compared to their male counterparts.
One more thing that I disagree with, is that a number of modern feminists have begun to praise overly-plump body types. Encouraging other women (especially new mothers, or women in the process of weight loss) by telling them "you are doing great, you rock girl!" is all good and well, and frankly, its nice to encourage other people to be positive about their bodies, when they are undergoing physical changes. However, overweight and obese body types are absolutely not healthy. Fat-shaming and bullying is definitely NOT ok, but at the same time, STAYING fat should not be encouraged, and BEING fat should not be normalised.
Lastly, I do not agree with the arrogance that a few modern "feminists" actively display, claiming that "I need no man, I am a strong, independent woman who can provide for herself". Yes, there is nothing wrong with being financially independent, and if you are, then I am happy for you. However, regardless of your gender, you have to recognise the contributions made by both women and men to your lives. Without women, you would not even be existing right now. Without men, you would not have a house to exist in.
In conclusion, the issue with in the modern day feminism is not that feminism is bad, but rather, it is the way some modern feminists have twisted the meaning of feminism, and given feminism a bad reputation. The whole idea was for women to be equal to men with regard to rights and opportunities, which is all well and good, but the misandry and misconceptions presented by some modern "feminists" have twisted the meaning of feminism. Moreover, there is also ignorance and disregard towards male-centric issues, as well as lack of empathy and acknowledgement that such issues do exist, that women do have their own advantages, and that being a man is also difficult.
For feminism to gain traction again, there needs to be an adoption of more inclusive viewpoints and open mindsets such that feminists can empathise with people belonging to different groups (including men), and they need to actively review the rationality of their actions and words, in order to determine how feminism can continue having a positive impact even in first world countries, instead of being associated with irrationality and compulsiveness.
Please let me know if there is anything you disagree on, I believe I may be able to learn something from you.
Image creds:
http://kmit.in/emagazine/article/the-vindication-of-modern-feminism/
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