The Problems With Feminism and How It Can Improve

The Problems With Feminism and How It Can Improve

I am not a feminist. However, I am not afraid to stand up for the truth and I am not afraid to speak against what's wrong. I just don't want a label for myself. This is because labels come with stereotypes. I believe modern feminism has become a joke and definitely needs some improvement and self-reflection.

Modern feminism is no longer about real issues or serious issues, just petty debates like
1. why girls play with barbie dolls
2. why girls wear pink
3. why girls wear princess costumes
4. why heroes save women in films
5. why boys do bike stunts
6. why women cook
7. why photoshop is used
8. why magazines tell women how to dress, how to wear make-up, how to cook

My reaction is "no one is forcing a customer to buy a magazine," and in terms of Photoshop, "no one is forcing a woman to become a model." Then, there are petty debates on almost EVERYTHING you can think of. There are debates about topless rights, and my reaction is "why can't we debate on something more serious like human beings starving, dying and being homeless?"

It is good to question things but there is a limit to everything. It should not become an insanity. Also, many women have a victim mentality for NO reason. Many women don't even know the real definition of a "victim," "serious cause," and "feminism." It is like anyone who moans is a "feminist" and a lot of people are "rebels without a cause."

The Problems With Feminism and How It Can Improve

Now, since I am moaning about the fact feminism is not putting its energy, time and efforts on serious causes, I want to give examples of "serious" causes.

1. Female infanticide
2. Forced marriage
3. Domestic abuse
4. Child marriages
5. Young girls as young as 7 getting kidnapped and murdered
6. Human trafficking
7. Flesh trade, women forced into prostitution
8. Dowry
9. Rape victims beings shamed and abandoned by the society just for being victims
10. Women not getting child custody- a husband has no right to snatch his children from their mother, children need their mother more, and a mother has more right on her children than a father because she carries the child in her womb for 9 months and give birth.

11. Women not getting divorced because they have no support from their families and are not financially independent
12. Women who are not allowed to have love marriage
13. Acid attacks (in one case a 15 year old got acid attack by her own parents just for staring at a guy)
14. Women getting murdered for saying no to a relationship or marriage
15. Honor Killings (women getting murdered for committing adultery, for getting in a relationship against their parent's wish) Yes, I know the word adultery does not exist in the western world but it still does in other worlds.

16. Women getting stoned for having extra-marital affairs.
Even though extra-marital affair is wrong but no one deserves to be murdered, the man can move the fuck on and divorce.

A lot of innocent women can be accused of cheating and a lot of rape victims are accused of lying and committing adultery. A lot of people believe that the punishment for adultery should be 100 lashes, and I am like one day they might say 200 lashes for getting drunk.

Even though I am a Muslim, an Asian and from a conservative family and society, I am not ashamed to highlight issues that Asian, Muslim and conservative women face. Recently, I heard about a woman getting shot by her brother just because she tried to run away with her boyfriend and she was not allowed to have a boyfriend in the name of fucking honor. Still, there were people almost trying to justify this including my own family members.

Her boyfriend got jailed, this shows that even the legal system even the police is backward. A boyfriend got jailed just for being a boyfriend and just for running away with his girlfriend. A lady got murdered just for falling in love and her boyfriend got jailed just for falling in love. I feel IMMENSE SADNESS and I feel like tearing up and crying because two lovers got separated and they had their entire lives ahead and they must have had beautiful dreams, plans and hopes for their future like everybody else.

Even in 2018, human beings especially women are not free to live their OWN lives. This makes me question, is the world really modern or do we still have a long way to go? Even though I am a Muslim, an Asian and from a conservative family but I am against compulsion, no one should force their religious or conservative ideas on others.

The Problems With Feminism and How It Can Improve

So, the conclusion is that it is not about feminism, it is how to use feminism. If feminism is used for serious causes, I will support feminism but if feminism is used for petty things then I will not support it.

One last thing, there are cases where women are considered victims even if they choose to do something. For example: if I choose to be a housewife, a full-time mother, if I choose to have an arranged marriage and if I choose to wear the Hijab, I am NOT a victim.


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What Guys Said 55

  • The father figure is essential for children, much more so than the mother. The results of single moms raising children are clearly evident, especiall in the black community: severe crime, general confusion and poverty.

    Without a strong father figure, children simly are f****d.

    • This is just simply not true... children are influenced mostly by the parent of their same gender. So while it may be true that a boy may struggle without a father figure a girl would probably get along just fine. But you can be a completely well adjusted person growing up with one parent if that parent does their job.

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    • @ashleyb93 If you didn't read it, how do you know its sexist? Also, again, I presented you with eight different sources proving my points and you are just trolling.

  • 1. Female infanticide: Its not all that common and its completely gone in the nations that have feminism. Further more if you wish to remove it you would have to remove the reason for it i. e. the overwhelming dependence on men. That is to say the reason why it was common in agricultural areas is because those who subsistence farm require males to do all the manual labor. Men produce more then they eat, women do not produce any food yet consume it. Make farming better in these areas and you will see female infanticide (which contrary to popular belief have nothing to do with hating girls, its about trying to stay alive. For instance if you look in certain areas in Africa the families actually over feed the daughters while letting the males starve in hopes that the woman will be selected to be a wife to some one rich (fat is beautiful in nations where starvation is rampant. Also interesting how femininst never mention this aspect of "oppression")) disappear. In places like china all you need to do is remove the one child policy (which has happened) and make it so that the complete well being of the parents is not placed solely on the shoulders of men. That's why they do it, because when the parents retire the male child is their retirement plan and the idea was that they could get a daughter through marriage. If they had a daughter they would be obligated to care for her until such a time that she got married. So get rid of these rules (that really show more of a open hostility to males and using them like tools rather then seeing them as people rather then showing the "oppression" of women) and you will have resolved this problem.
    2. Arranged marriages are arranged by parents for BOTH genders. Not really sure why you would say this is a womans issue if it effects both genders equally. Seems kind of sexist (I know, its not intentional but I say it to try and get you and other to actually think these things through rather then have a knee jerk reaction).
    3. According to data, women are actually far more likely to be perpetrators of domestic violence then men. 70% of all non reciprocal violence between intimate partners was perpetrated by women against men. When its reciprocal its 50/50 however data shows that while this is an indicator of past and future violence for women its not for men heavily suggesting that she is the instigator. We also know that women are far more likely to use emotional abuse and controlling behavior then men.

    • Studies also show that women are more likely to abuse children then men AND that the target of the violence are more often then not males. On top of which women are far less likely to be punished for domestic violence while men have always been punished for it (in all nations, again, despite common belief).
      4. Yes child marriages are wrong and should be stopped but their are other issues as well, like underage male prostitution that exists in many of the nations that allow for child marriages (baka bazi or dancing boys as they are called in afganistan). Also this is illegal in every western nation and most other nations as well and feminist are not pushing for law changes in those nations that have it they are actively trying to consolidate power in nations that don't.
      5.(and 13 and 14) men are the overwhelming majority of all violent crimes across the board and in every nation with not one exception. 80% of all violent crime victims are male and the more violent the crime the more

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    • You can do it. We believe in you.

      (I mean, you did go to school, I assume.)

  • Highly agreeable. however i should point out:
    3. Donestic abuse can happen to anyone regardless of gender.
    9. Rape goes both ways.
    10. Actually, custody has nothing to do with childbirth. It has to do with which parent is more fit to care for the children, and this may be the mother or the father. Also family courts already tend to favour the mother for child custody already even when the mother is unfit.

    And yes feminism is not what it used to be, moaning about superficial issues that dont affect people too much, rather than focusing on WOMENS' NEEDS IN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES.

    Anothr problem is they refuse to acknowledge that mens issues dp exist (predominantly in first world societies), but that is a topic for another day.

    Being Asian myself i can fully see the context of your points and i do agree to a large extent with you. The only difference is i live in Singapore so i will have a different perspective from you, as this country is quite much an anomaly from other Asian countries.

  • It's over. If you live in the west you have complete freedom and equal protection under the law. It's done. Give it up. Women now are just making up crap that isn't real to "fight" against.

    You want "feminism"? Take it to Saudi Arabia, Pakistan or Iran. They are the ones who need it.

  • I see feminism as more of negative than a positive because it focuses only on women. Why can't we address both male and female issues at the same time? Why is it that women only care about other women? It seems pretty messed up to me.

    I will say though that I agree with your list. You have obviously thought a lot about this. However, these are problems that mostly exist in developing African and Middle Eastern nations, and not so much in the west. It's also not an easy thing to correct since these issues are often part of foreign cultures.

    What I don't understand is why western feminists support open borders, knowing these ideas will enter their countries and creat problems for them. In the U. K. it's beleived that more than 100,000 white girls have been raped by "Asain" (Middle Eastern) grooming gangs. In Canada there was a trial for a man who literally raped his wife; he even admitted it. The Canadian courts gave him a pass because in his culture it's perfectly legal to rape your wife and kafir women, and he did not know it was illegal to rape your wife in Canada. There was another problem in the United States where immigrant doctors from the Middle East had performed more than 600 female circiumcisions before they were caught.

    I bet I just triggered you. This is exactly why feminism is a joke. You only fight against perceived injustices by way of the white male patriarchy.

    • you did not trigger me I only get triggered by swear words and I only got triggered when this call called Malik in the comments said swear words to me

    • guy not call

    • thanks for your comment, nice informative comment and much better than those who don't know how to communicate like adults, and I have seen those issues on the news I mean they are facts that can't be ignored.

  • You had me until you said men are less important in the upbringing of a child and women always deserve child custody, so all i can say is go fuck yourself.

    • you fuck off

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    • She's 19... she doesn't know shit, as evidenced by this Take.

      Leave her alone.

    • Perfectly representing today's common feminist. Keep it up. Show that you know little more than being angry and hateful - instead of graceful in the face of it.

      By the way, it is not uncommon for people to react to lies and falsehood with negativity.

  • Not adopting the label is a start. But then all your “serious” reasons show ignorance.

    • thanks and my serious reasons don't show ignorance

    • "Women not getting child custody- a husband has no right to snatch his children from their mother, children need their mother more, and a mother has more right on her children than a father because she carries the child in her womb for 9 months and give birth."

      No, just no. Aside from being sexist, you have no appreciation for the history of that attitude.

      Virtually the whole way through you're emphasizing things that effect women, while disregarding where may at least equally effect men. You say you don't want to fall into the common conception of the label, but here you are disregarding half the equality conversation.

      Furthermore, none of this addresses feminist theory. My problem with feminism is not that they focus on "small" issues, it's their theory and their postulates for where these things they describe in their theories come from. In other words, even if they focused on "serious issues" doesn't mean what they do about it is particularly helpful.

  • Western feminists largely only care about western society and are happy to give other cultures a pass. Part of that is because fighting for the rights of women in Eastern or Muslim cultures would require a significantly higher level of sacrifice, but also because the leadership of the movement is full of socialist/communist sympathizers who are literally given directions by Moscow in an effort to undermine western culture.

    Feminism has largely achieved its goals in the west (which the willingness to address decades-old issues like Hollywood casting couches demonstrates). Instead of focusing on the rest of the world where women's rights are nearly zero, the move the goalposts to deal with ridiculous issues in the west.

    This is why even most women no longer support the movement, and it has become a fringe group with diminishing power.

    It's going to be up to non-western women to fight for the rights of non-western women.

    • very true

    • feminism is not used where it is needed the most like non-western countries, they need to build places for helpless women who are considered a burden by their families and husbands

  • I disagree ENTIRELY with point 10 XD Women get biased custody in court for the sole reason of carrying the child. In a lot of cases they’d have to be a major drug addict to lose the custody fight. Besides, studies show that children who grow up without fathers end up falling into criminal activity and sexual promiscuity FAR more often than their fathered counterparts, so clearly fathers are just as important as mothers.

  • In the West, feminism is already old. It has served its purpose and is now outdated here. In the East it has not yet been in place, and the women are going on in their struggle for equality.
    When I see feminists in a Western setting, I understand there is something wrong.

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What Girls Said 17

  • I can agree with a lot of this, except for the ‘men aren’t as important as the mother.’ I think both parents provide different things that the child needs. As someone with a single father and a very flaky neglectful mother, I can say that my dad is way more important and my mom has no right to snatch me away.

  • Interesting. I was skeptical when I saw the title, but agree with you. I can't stand the feminists who get upset by things like someone holding the door open for them because that's "sexist" or the use of the word human because it's "sexist". Like examples you mentioned, those are petty things and I think it makes feminists and sometimes women in general, not be taken so seriously. I live in the United States and feel like I am completely equal to a man (as far as rights and laws go) but reading your list of things we need to work on, I see that's not the case. The fact that forced marriage is legal in the United States (it's not outright legal, but there are loopholes that allow it to happen) is a huge problem. Although on a daily basis I and millions of women have it pretty good, there are also millions of women who are suffering, living a life against their will, and really living in Hell. It makes me angry to think while things like this is going on we have women more concerned with informing the public that its there right to fuck who they want and they are a proud slut or (This is a serious campaign I've heard before.) Putting an end to manspreading. Anyways thanks for a good read.

    • thanks for your comment, right now I feel like dancing, when I found out that mytake got featured! I am so happy that my voice will be heard. I made the right choice by following my heart.

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    • 6h

      @ThisAndThat a mother is better when it comes to raising children

    • 5h

      Oh you mean like the crackhead mother that dropped her little girl off at my house and didn't return for her? The little girl that I took care of myself like she was my own child for 7 months? The little girl that I loved so much that I would have given my life for? The little girl I wanted to adopt and call my own? I did everything a dad would do for her and I did everything her CRACKHEAD mom wouldn't do for her, ON MY ON. And I could list of example after example after example of the same or similar situations. YOU ARE FULL OF CRAP, PERIOD!

  • These days feminism is all over the place, I don;t mean it is broad and encompassing, I mean it is thin and loosing what it started out to do. It has gotten so messed up they use triggers instead of a message. Getting people to react based on words instead of than intent. It makes for good utube videos. Without a message triggers just make people look kind of out there. Going off for no reason at times and hurting the cause.

    • your comment is so accurate, and I heard about this girl who throws acid on men for manspreading, I heard about on this app and one person asked a question about she bagging when women put their bags on the next seat. It is amazing how people point out petty things and get really creative in their heads.

  • I dislike number 10 honestly I wished my father got me instead of my mother. She's only wanted me because of the child support. She constantly talks about how she regrets having me. That I'm useless, lazy, and she always threatened to send me to my dad.
    She only was ever nice to me if my dad payed child support. She's also abusive mentally and physically. She has major issues. I still love her in a way. She would hit me over small things as a child. If I cried, if I was scared.
    The parent who actually cares for the child should get custody. Some parents only want the kid for child support or to get back at the other partner.

    • Exactly... see my comment

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    • @Shezadi who cares if I end up like her or not. She shouldn't have gotten me at all just because she gave birth to me. All the years of pain she put me through. She snatched me away from my father for selfish reasons. I wouldn't wish this on any child. My dad truly cared for me my mother only saw me as a piggy bank. Her beat up doll.
      She beat me untill I could barely move and bruises and more. Since I was six over petty things.

    • My father had every right to get custody of me for so many reasons. I'm his daughter his biological daughter.
      He actually wanted me my mother didn't. Why should I have been taken by someone who didn't want me at all? My mother was the heartless one for what she did and still does.
      She made me feel like crap for years. I still have issues because if that.
      You seem to care more about winning and uplifting feminism then the actual well being of a child.

  • that’s fine and good, but most feminist thought is concerntrated in the West where effectively all those issues either don’t occur within their culture and are abnomalies. Of course feminists care deeply about those issues, start up a variety of charities and organisations to help women overseas but the only true change will come through massive state intervention or social movements by individuals within the state. Generally in places where these things occur the state is either too poor/badly managed to really address the issue or the state is complicit and Informally maintains the status quo. The goal of feminist academia is to see and analysise injustice surrounding gender in the world, they might sound petty but they are trying to make a point about patriarchal power structures. Feminists are not the one’s with power to change but aim to illicit change within institutions. Everyone agrees those things are bad and there’s massive feminist backing behind them, not to mention UN intervention, but unfortunately the onus kind of is on the state to fix it.

  • Let's not forget the fact women are always consulted as an afterthought when it comes to our reproductive organs. For example a man can get clipped any time he wants but if a woman wants her tubes tied she has to have at least one son and daughter, be over 25, and have her husbands permission first. Or the fact you cannot choose how to give birth to your own children aka elective cesarean section. Or how hard it is to get access to birth control and legal safe abortions.

    • Why all the dislikes, boys? None of what I said concerns or affects you in any way...

  • I agree! You see these videos on present-day feminist and their rallies on Youtube and it's like they have forgotten what they were fighting for in the first place and they only want power over men.
    There are serious causes in this world like you've mentioned and they should be addressed but not like this. Human beings are human beings for crying out loud! Other humans beings shouldn't be allowed to force anything on another human being, if they don't want to do it in the first place. That's a human right.
    There is a old Native American Indian saying that goes: "If it's not good for everyone, then it's not good at all." I really do think that's incredibly wise.

    • I hear about women protesting by being topless for example during a hearing of a doctor who was accused of encouraging abortion.

    • That's why we need to recognize that capitalism isn't good.

  • There's something I don't agree with. The 10 thing. Actually, women can be bad mothers and their husband a better father. A good father is better for the child than a good mother.
    I know a guy who's been in this situation. His wife was abusive and absolutely not responsible with the baby. Still she had his custody just because she carried him for 9 months I guess

  • Number 10 is bullshit to me but everything else I agree with.

  • 10 is a little messed up... Anyone can be a bad parent, the mom or dad... Each has a right to a custody battle if they deem the other parent unfit to raise their child..

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