Do you think single moms get undeserved sympathy?

Question

I have absolutely no sympathy for single mothers. Now before you start with the comments about how this is mean/unfair/cruel... understand that I'm specifically referring to girls who got pregnant in their teenage/early 20's years before being married. I'm a 29 year old woman with no kids, and I never got pregnant because I made sure I was on birth control and practiced safe sex during my younger years. Not that f***ing hard. At my job, there are girls who are single moms and they seem to get the most leniancy when it comes to attendance policies and vacation time. All because they're single moms. If I call off because I have the flu, I get a write up. If a single mom calls off because her kid has the flu, it's excused. If I need to leave early to go to a doctor's appintment, I get docked a point for it. If a single mom leaves early to get her kid from school/daycare, it's no big deal. Why do the women that were responsible in life seem to get the short end of the stick when it comes to kids? Because I DIDN'T get pregnant I get punished? It's not even just work... why the f*** are there college scholarships and grants for single moms? Where my f***ing scholarship for being a responsible, straight-edge girl that didn't get knocked up during high school? Why do I have to spend hours writing an essay and compete with other students just to have a slim chance of getting a scholarship, yet a single mom that popped out a kid at 17 is just handed one simply for getting pregnant? Call me bitter, call me heartless, call me a b****. I don't care. The single moms out there who say life is hard and they feel judged by others, you're right. I do judge you and I don't feel ashamed to do or say it. I was a teenager, I was attractive and liked to party and have sex too. Doesn't mean pregnancy isn't preventable. I judge you because of how society caters to your unfortunate circumstances and I think it's complete bullshit. It is the WORST double standard and it disgusts me.

musicbrain5 · Accepted Answer

This sounds more like a rant than an actual question, but I'll bite. The kind of moms you're talking about are the ones who want attention all the time and have everything handed to them without having to lift a finger. I work with children and I know quite a few single parents. Most of them are extremely hard working people, they don't ask for anything and they're humble. But I do know a couple fit right in with what you're saying here.

The thing with kids is that they're always number one, or at least they should be. It doesn't matter if the parent is single or if they're married - if their kid is sick at daycare/school they have to go get them. If their kid has a doctor's appointment or something else that's equally as important and it happens to be during business hours, a good parent will take them there. If the women at your work weren't single, it wouldn't be that much different. Sure, they would have their bf/husband there to take care of the child at a moment's notice, but what if he can't? Then it's up to her if no one else is available. That's just the way things are when you work with people who are parents. Doesn't matter if they're single or married.

QueenBaae · Accepted Answer

You're 29 and bitter! People make mistakes and however child birth is never a mistake. Nobody wants to be pregnant at 16, but shit happens and it's what they do about themselves after that should reflect the type of person they are.
Children are hard work. Whether you have them at 16 or 40. Still fucking hard.! I don't know where you're from but it's not something that happens all around the world were someone gets handed a scholarship for being pregnant but whatever.

My point is, you're bitter, angry and jealous because someone has achieved something which you had to work extra hard for however you don't know what she did to earn that scholarship. You don't know her full life story. Get a grip and stop being bitter or you'll have no kids

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes they do. There are other options such as adoption or giving custody to the father. It's not everyone else's fault that their relationship (s) didn't work out and they ended up having children.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

Well, what used to annoy me is my married female coworker who'd get pregnant and have a baby and get 6+ weeks of paid maternity leave yet I couldn't get such righteous paid time off. That's sexist right?

And what about those tax deductions people with kids get that I don't? Your tax deductions are paid for with my taxes. Is that fair?

The simple fact of the matter is that societies recognize that having kids is something special and that we all have to make small sacrifices to help raise the next generation... whethere the mother is married or not. After all, women have been making babies for hundreds of thousands of years before marriage.

Nomad69 · Accepted Answer

Same type of women refuse plan b! I somewhat agree with you. They are always the victim no matter what even when they do wrong

Rocket_Queen · Answer

I was a single mom at 18 and never asked for sympathy. I also worked my butt off and didn't get special treatment. So I can't say much for that. As for judging a single parent, I try to avoid it. I try to avoid judgement in general because everyone makes mistakes, nobody is perfect. I think things like scholarships are probably unfair, but it probably is keeping them off our welfare system for the rest of the kids lives so it's probably seenas the lesser of 2 evils.

Heera · Answer

I agree with you to some extent. Except that you couldn't know every one of them and what happened to them. Besides that I think no one deserves to be regretting their mistakes their whole life. Single moms and single dads shouldn't be judged in my opinion. And not getting attention bothers you that much? What about being rewarded with no child for being responsible?

Sarahplus2 · Answer

you can't judge everyone with those standards. Shit happens, relationships fail, marriages crumble, people die. birth control falters. I got pregnant at 16, kept them. their father signed his rights away. here i am. 25 with two 9 year olds. i paid off my own home and have little debt. however I dont have any babysitting trouble as my family watches them while I am at work.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree to an extent. I mean it isn't fair they get a lot of help be it time off work, degrees etc for things that could be prevented. there's contraception for a reason. I mean I know of people who got pregnant as they get given a house... but then you do get the genuine ones who got pregnant due to a cock up in contraception, but stuck to the decision and work hard so fair play to them.

True_Sage · Answer

You're generally right. And single moms have the stink of unfaithful selfishness on them. It's all about their kid and chances are they don't want more. No good man wants a single mom. It's only a desperation move. We all know they're petty judgmental and can't compromise. Red flag.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like you're really bitter. Maybe because you're getting old and you might go through menopause soon.
Anyway, you said it yourself:you've never had kids. So how tf would you know how hard it is to raise them?

NerdInDenial · Answer

Single moms love playing that victim card; generally, they shouldn't be having kids.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I agree with you. I have no sympathy for girls who got pregnant at young age. I can only hope that their mistakes will serve as an important lesson for future generations.

slatyb · Answer

The sympathy is for the children.

Anonymous · Answer

I tend to agree with you.

Anonymous · Answer

They probably do yes

Do you think single moms get undeserved sympathy?

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