I'm wondering what you thinks about it and please reasoning why it's okay or wrong. Anyway, the modern arguments that's used about allowing different types of marriage and relationships is it's fine as long it's between consenting adults and it don't harm anyone. Do it apply to polygamous relationships too? #Polygamy#Debate#Polygamous
It's wrong and should be illegal
It's wrong, but shouldn't be punishable
It's NOT wrong
Other (Explain what and why)
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+1 y
I would like people to explain me why they've their opinions and try to keep a serious discussion.
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+1 y
Another thing I forgot to mention is that I'm talking about both genders; men having several wives and women having several husbands. So we're talking about both polygamy and polyandry. So you can also mention women and not only men in the arguments.
I think first of all we have to decide between sexual polygamy/polyandry and something called polyamory.
In polygamous or polyandric relationships, it's usually one guy with many girls or vise versa. Also, the relationship seems to be mostly sexual. Sometimes it also takes the form of an open relationship, where Sarah and Jack are in a romantic, long-term relationship but they sleep with other partners on the side (either just one of them or both, depending on the agreement).
In polyamorous relationships, the focus is more on the aspect of love and less on sex. Polyamorous people believe that romantic love can be shared with more than one person. One guy I recently saw in a documentary about this topic said: "If you cut love into two piece, both of them are as big again as the original. Love doesn't become smaller by sharing it". I thought that was an interesting analogy. It's like Jesus who feeds thousands of people although he only has a few fish and a few loaves of bread. Hence, in polyamorous constellations, people have several boyfriends and/or girlfriends. In the best-case-scenario, all these people are good friends. From what I know, polyamorous couples are usually in the second half of their lives. They have already been married once or twice, they've tried the whole one-on-one thing and realized that it doesn't work for them. Young couples usually tend to be more traditional and more idealistic about monogamy, so it is rare to find young polyamorous couples.
Personally, I don't have a problem with any of these lifestyles. In the end, every person has to find their golden path through life. We all enjoy different things and different things work for different people. I am a very tolerant person and I don't judge people for choosing a different lifestyle from my own. What matters is that YOU find your own taste of happiness.
Myself, I could probably live in an open relationship as long as it remained purely sexual. The idea of my wife having sex with other men doesn't make me angry. In my opinion, sex is just a form of playing. It's a game for adults, so to speak. Just like I wouldn't mind my wife playing chess with another guy, I wouldn't mind her playing "physically". In fact, I would be very proud to be married to a woman who gives other guys the hots. What doesn't work for me is polyamory. When it comes to feelings, I'm very strict. I want my wife to only love me and I want to be her special someone that she shares her secrets with.
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i guess i'd be ok with it being legal so long as they can only receive benefits as one couple (like one family) not governmental and societal benefits based on the number of marriages
aside from that while polygamy is definitely not for me i don't really have a moral objection to it as long as all involved are willing participants
If a man have seven wives and they together makes 25 children it would be very expensive them getting benefits, so in that way you've a good point. But if something happen to the family so not everybody are able to work and they can't afford feeding all of these children, what should the government do? It's the parent's fault so in that way not giving them money is making them paying for the consequences. But at the other hands the children didn't ask to be born and are innocent in this. They gets influenced in a negatively way without their fault.
in america a family receives benefits as one family. i think the same could be extended to polygamist. if they were seen as one family all children (regardless of the mother) could still be on the health insurance of one of the parents. if they needed welfare they could still receive benefits granted to single family/household... i think (although i could be proven wrong) considering a polygamist family as one household would work
It is not necessarily wrong but something that should be HEAVILY DISCOURAGED. Again, nothing wrong with it but better not do it.
And if someone still does, he must make sure that he will be able to maintain equality and justice between his wives. And honestly, very few men on earth are capable of it.
I've seen polygamy causing problems in many families, including some of my own friends and it happened because they could not maintain equality and justice. One of my uncles, however, has two wives and they're doing all good. In fact his second wife was actually his former employer's daughter who herself proposed to him despite knowing that he's married.
Regarding your update, I wanna stress on the fact that it is not simply for men but women too. But polyandry isn't legal in Islam, so I would never do it. I wouldn't do it even if it was legal.
I had this update because of other people in the comment section. It's understandable you don't want to have several partners. I wouldn't do polygamy either because it sounds very stressful.
I don't think it is wrong, as long as all parties are fine with it. Whatever floats your boat. I personally wouldn't really be interested in it because I wouldn't want multiple partners and I wouldn't want my partner to feel he need to have multiple partners.
It's wrong, but shouldn't be punishable. People can do what they want if they want a polygamous relationship they can have one even if I think it's stupid. I think it would surely get a lot of problem and don't remain together all their life.
To what I know about polygamy (in the middle east) there's always people in the relationship who get treated bad or anything. After it does sound very weird to me like can you truly share as much love and attention to multiple people? I think there's always one person you love more than the other.
Yes, good point. I sees the jealously part. But it's also difficult to remember all the children's name. I've watched a documentary about a man with 6 wives and more than 20 children.
Yes, it's what I was talking about. there's no ways a man can take care, show love, attention, etc... to 6 wives and 20 children. It's just impossible. I see it as being egoistical. Those people would be more happy in a monogamous relationship.
STD isn't the only issue with it. Many people gets a lot of children too, so remembering all the names and gives the children enough attention is also a challenge. I've heard about a man with about 5 wives and they had more than 20 children in total.
Marriage is only a social institution that has conditioned us in modern society. I'm not saying it is bad per se, but it's also not natural. I'm somewhat against both marriage be it traditional or otherwise then. Hooking up with any and all attractive women possible to spread your genes for survival is natural for men. What's natural for women is accepting the dominant male as her suitor, protector, and provider. That's very blunt but very true. The few men that understand this will get more sex from more women and be in more relationships over the course of his life than any polygamist or conditioned man ever will.
Marriage laws also are highly skewed in favor of the woman. It doesn't actually make sense to marry (even with a prenup) given that you are running the risk of losing half of your value if a divorce were to ever transpire. The divorce rate is ~50% in the U. S. and still going up. The only logical conclusion that I can arrive at to balance the inequality in marriage law is that a woman should have to carry a man's child/children prior to any marriage. It is simply fair unless current marriage laws are altered to reflect equality in the coin flip possibility of divorce.
I don't think it's wrong. There is no sneaking around or deception when one enters a polygamous relationship. Marriage also is more official and legally recognized in comparison to being just a player, or a chronic cheater. I know a friend who has 3 wives, two in Ghana and one here in the states. They are all happy and taken care of. As far as the std argument goes, well they have made that exact same case before. Especially concerning gay marriage, particularly when it comes to gay men, who happen to have significantly higher rates of hiv than the general population. It's so much higher, that blood clinics and blood plasma centers won't accept blood from a gay donor, along with those who were recently released from prison. If one feels polygamy is "wrong", and it should be outlawed, then they can not hold it against those who oppose homosexual marriages for the same "feelings" that they harbor. It's one way, or it's the other. If adults consent to something and it doesn't affect you, then it isn't your business. If you argue that it is, then you can't cry a river when people don't agree with gay marriage or abortion.
Polygamy, polygyny, polyandry etc all are okay so long as those involved are truly in love with one another, behave responsibly towards self, each other and children. I think it's a stronger way of bonding without caving in to insecurity and related emotions
if you feel you can deal with multiple women's personalities and be married to him openly and support them financially and any kind of kids or family you make with those women then screw it you're all adults who cares
But what if you're financially stable and gets the family, but something happens like an accident and since you can't see into the future you didn't know it? Situation like this happens sometimes when you and some other in your family can't work for a reason which gives bad economy sometimes.
Well we allow gays and lesbians to marry so why not. As a redblooded guy I'm all for it but I doubt it would mean there wouldn't be enough wives to go around.
It's wrong. Period. Marriage is between two people. It's a partnership. How you could feel those special feelings for more than one person? No, sorry. It's morally wrong and it should be 100% illegal. Either way though, I'm Catholic and there's not way that that would pass in my church.
Why is it wrong? I wants to hear an argument on why and not only hear that's wrong. You can't say something is right or wrong without having a reason in my opinion. Without the reasons we can't define right and wrong.
I forgot to mention: As long it's between consenting adults that does it voluntary, what can go wrong? People feels differently, so just because you can't feel it for more than one person doesn't mean it applies to everyone.
I don't care, it's personally not for me, but I don't care if other people do it. There may need to be some deliberation on how the spousal benefits work (on the legal side of things), but I don't see any issue with it morally.
It would be difficult to not have someone involved obsess or at least be insecure over the fact that their favorite is playing favorites with someone else, hard to recruit people into the relationship dynamic that everyone agrees being part of it (like, do you hold a secret meeting if someone you thought was hot & cool turns out to be a roommate from hell?), almost certainly opens the door for more STD's to come into the equation, can complicate legal documents & things like last names (imagine how hated in society someone named 'John Doe-Lieberman-Pollock' would be by teachers, beureaucrats, or people with easily offended sensibilities), definitely goes against the religious doctrines of the most practiced religons, & limits the reproductive capabilities of someone in a household that can only afford one child but possesses the genetic sex cells of three people.
I think it is wrong and that it should be illegal. I think that is causes genetic problems in the gene pool and political problems aswell. Imagine if a man lived in a small town but had 5 wives each of which had three children. Now imagine they all grow up and live near their parents in the same town, not they all have children of their own. The man who had the three wives now has a small army of children in-laws and grandchildren who if raised a certain way would be loyal foot soldiers. They could cause civil unrest in the town county or state. Families should only be able to get so big with the natural limiter being that you only have one wife to give birth.
Not wrong, but not easy either. A relationship is a lot of work, and the amount of work increases for every additional person you decide to bring into it.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
i think it's a bit twisted, but hey, if you want a polygamous relationship/marriage and your gfs/fiancees/wives are fine with it, then go ahead
i personally wouldn't get into one because i don't want to share my guy with another girl
In the real world polygamy has only resulted in extreme sexism and treating wives like a commodity or piece of property. However, a relationship with multiple partners has not been a huge problem.
I can't really say that polygamy or polyandry is any more or less valid than any other type of relationship. We live in a world where divorce rates are ridiculously high.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I think it's fine as long as everyone's a consenting adult and no-one is going outside of the relationship because I'd view that as cheating.
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